Refunded, Darling
by Iambeck
Summary: One girl's selfless deed to be a surrogate is voided by tragedy, and unfortunately, there are no refunds on this kind of thing. Now, eternally bound to a stranger in a 'divine act of God', ethics be damned... AH.
1. Homebound

Refunded, Darling

_Homebound_

The rumble of an unfamiliar car echoed along the pine needle- dusted road, passing through Clallam County with nothing but the slight displacement of eroded grit to signify that it had ever been there at all. With an Arizonan registration plate and dust encrusted trims, it was plainly clear that this car had never ventured far from its original home; yet the way it was driven through the Olympic Peninsula, directed with a subtle ease and with no fault, it was clear that its owner was not at all foreign to the landscape or even the unnerving, sporadic moments of deluge.

Sweat- slickened hands grasped the worn steering wheel and Converse clad feet moved in tandem with the brake and gas pedal along Route 101. The humidity of the sixties Coupe De Ville was stifling, yet nervous hands remained in their position, only ever moving to swiftly hitch up the threadbare sleeves of a favorite sweater.

Emerald foliage and moss-choked flora streamed past the windows in an endless blur, burning Mother Nature's image into steady, focused retinas. Eventually, the road forked and the tread of the tires gently - if not a little hesitantly- veered left into a bark- laden parking lot. The Coupe De Ville settled next to a burned out Volkswagen Rabbit, the only car in the lot that was recognizable amongst outdated Chevys. A gaudy, yellow lightning bolt faded by time and a low-strength paint stripper caught the driver's eye, and had the engine of the Coupe De Ville been cut, a stifled yet audible sob may have been heard amongst the silence of the surrounding forest.

With difficulty, two swollen feet emerged from the Cadillac along with the rest of Bella Swan; barely twenty three and already exhausted by life's happenstances. The bitter chill of the Forkian wind nipped at her cheeks and she carefully reached into the back of the car to snatch a thicker wool-knit sweater. A few buttons were hard to fasten and the wool stretched unflatteringly in some places but she knew it was a piece for a time long gone- a time that could never be reclaimed.

After slamming the Cadillac door and kicking it for good measure, she twisted the key in the lock - with a struggle she anticipated- and ambled towards the diner that had been a frequent haunt throughout her childhood. The door was held open for her by Old Max - resident caretaker - who looked taken aback by her sudden appearance, his weathered face tinged with surprise and pity.

"It's good to have you back, Darlin'," he murmured, neither seeking recognition nor response.

Bella trudged through the diner and over the silver-specked linoleum towards a corner booth that had forever remained "our spot". She reached for a foot long menu - frayed at the corners - and propped it against the table to shield herself from the watchful gaze of the patrons and barflies. Sorrow and pity seemed to radiate in her every direction; nothing was ever forgotten in the sleepy town of Forks.

Her bottom lip was raw from her habitual biting and she hissed as the metallic taste of blood seeped onto the tip of her tongue. As she fretted with a couple of scratchy napkins, and dabbed frantically at her lip, a broad shadow eclipsed her peripheral vision and she immediately scrunched the remainder of her napkin into her pale fist.

Without thinking, she scrambled to her feet and instinctively closed the gap between herself and the solitary figure who stood unmoving by her table. Had she taken a moment to gather her bearings and taken a long, hard glance at the man she had known since she was a baby, she may have noticed his hesitancy before she engaged herself in an unreciprocated embrace.

Although her heart was stung, she chalked his emotionless state down to stress and grief; everyone was suffering.

"Hi, Jake," she murmured, tilting her head so that she could look at his wearisome face that had once crinkled in mirth. However, her welcome remained neglected and unacknowledged as his gaze settled upon the one aspect of her that had been changing throughout what they called a "healing process".

"It's grown a lot since we last saw each other, I guess," she added. His silence was beginning to unnerve her a little. She gently grazed her fingertips over the taught wool of her midriff and sighed, remembering how only a couple of months ago pity and sorrow were foreign bodies to her.

"Can we sit?"

Bella could and probably would have remained by his side until he was ready to move on his own terms, but at the time, her back ached with the added weight and heartburn radiated in her chest from the liter of orange juice she had consumed on the drive home. With a mere nod in response, she settled against the lipstick-red seats once again and struggled to find a comfortable position as her stomach pressed against the straight edge of the diner table. In the background, someone had dug for loose change in their pants pocket and the gentle echo of coins reverberated from the juke box. A crackling song somewhere from the depths of '77 began and Bella could already hear her father's comment in the back of her mind: _"The only song I ever did hear in this god-forsaken place"._

Charlie hated the diner, choosing to frequent '_The Lodge' _further from town. Still, the diner held a special place in Bella's heart and she could never find the courage to sever ties with it- and admittedly, she never wanted to.

As the pair reacquainted, silently acknowledging the feat that was their meeting, a downtrodden waitress sulking from a reprimand for spilling yet another coffee pot sidled over to the table. She leaned against the side of the booth and readjusted her hair slides before announcing she was ready with a flick of her pencil against her notepad.

"Anything I can get you guys? Juice? Coffee? We make a really mean pot, stuff comes all the way from South America-"

"No coffee for me, thanks," Bella interrupted, palming the side of her abdomen.

"Ah, right, baby and all that," the girl acknowledged, "how long you got left?"

"Ten weeks," Bella answered, throwing a pointed glance in Jacob's direction, "Ten weeks and I'll be able to drink coffee again."

Jacob neither welcomed the waitress nor ordered once Bella had completed hers, his gaze had now moved from the protrusion of Bella's stomach and out of the diner window towards the Olympic Mountains. Bella's sudden indignation never registered with him as she grabbed several packets of ketchup from the condiment basket, and slammed them onto the tabletop. The waitress, wary of a sudden invasion of privacy, swept from her spot like her apron had caught on fire. Had Bella been in a better mood and under different circumstances, she would have apologized to the poor girl who seemed to be getting it from all angles, but then again- Bella would never have been here under different circumstances.

She hadn't come all this way only to eat a garden burger and listen to some melancholy drivel in a musty diner, suffered endless bouts of heartburn and rested in cheap motels for the sake of it. Lately, her hormones had been driving her wild with so many emotions that she had literally restrained herself from driving up to Forks sooner. All she had waited for was Jake, and to make sure that he was okay and that he was ready for their meet. Now, she realized, there were more important issues than just what he wanted and what was best for his feelings.

"Jake, it's been three months and you haven't called me," Bella snapped, "throw me a damn line here and help me to understand what's going on with you."

Jacob seemed to have registered that.

His infuriated glare granted her wish and finally met her gaze for the first time.

"You can never understand," he hissed.

"She was my sister, Jake. Tia-"

"Don't," he snapped, "don't talk about them."

Silenced by the one person who had always given her a voice, Bella found herself struggling to contain the anger that boiled within her veins. Jacob's refusal to acknowledge the most important issue of their future only served to add salt to the wound that was Bella's life. Everything that surrounded the incident had been dealt with tenderly and discreetly, no one seemed to notice the fact that her shirt size was expanding with each month that passed and that sooner or later someone's life would need to be altered to accommodate the consequences.

"Ten weeks, Jacob, and the baby is here. You've had three months to mull it over, and now I need answers."

He continued to toy with the table utensils, turning a crystalline salt shaker between his fingers. Bella didn't pretend to ignore the fact that he had removed the gold wedding band from his finger, or that he hadn't shaved in what seemed like months. Her help had been readily available all through the turmoil after the accident but she had been refused time and time again.

Suddenly, the salt shaker fell to the tabletop and Jacob hurriedly rose to his feet. His clumsy movement caught the table leg and shoved it further towards Bella who caught it before it caused any damage. The salt shaker rolled over the edge and the lid came loose so that the white powder spattered all over the linoleum.

"Shit!"

"Jacob what-"

He tried to place the lid back onto the shaker and swept a shaky hand over the loose salt but it seemed as though his nervousness had taken its toll. The spilled salt remained blanketed upon the floor, now with Jacob's hand-print etched into its accidental display, like a hand-print in the snow.

"I can't do this, Bella," he choked, "don't ask me to do this," his voice trembled along with his hands and instantly, Bella felt the weight of her nightmares fall onto her unprepared shoulders. Her face blanched, and doe eyes searched his own earth-colored orbs for a sign of hope. Jacob, leaden with a cowardice guilt, quickly scrambled to his feet and looked anywhere but the terrified face of the girl he considered his little sister.

"I'm gone, Bella," he grit through the tears that threatened to fall, "I don't want a reminder of her, and I can't be responsible for a life again. Keep it, give it away- I have no use for it anymore, it's not even mine anyway- yours and some guy we chose from an agency- so don't try and make me feel guilty for walking away," he continued to choke, never once looking from his feet that had now trodden in the salt.

"I love you, Bell, I do…I-I got some info for you- numbers and stuff. We kept in contact with the guy over T-T… over her. I'm sorry, Kid…I just can't do it."

His trembling hand dropped a crumpled note onto the table, marred by dirty fingerprints and a coffee ring from an overfilled mug.

"Don't do this Jacob," Bella sobbed at the sight of his retreating back, "don't do this."

However, her whispered pleas found no audience, no willing Jacob ready to comfort her through her pain. Instead, she remained a solitary figure in the booth, rocked by abandonment and a tortuous grief she'd begun to think she was finally learning to overcome. The few napkins she would have used to dry her tears remained in a scrunched ball, bloody and useless.

She had not agreed to this.

In ten weeks there would have been a baby- a baby she had grown and nurtured for her sister and her husband she had considered a brother. She was going to heal, move on, travel and enjoy the love she had brought to the family. Now she was being forced into a corner through the fault of one careless mistake.

Bile rose in her throat and the arrival of her garden burger diminished whatever was left of her appetite.

With another sharp kick to her ribs, Bella finally broke down in the cornered booth with nothing but the bobbled sleeves of her sweater to dry her eyes.

The wound that was her life was quickly ripping back open.

* * *

I'm humbled that you're reading my little story, thank you.


	2. Hershey's Kisses

Refunded, Darling

_Hershey's Kisses_

When Charlie had finally arrived home from work and had carefully hung his gun and holster on its assigned hook, he hoped to catch a few minutes of the Mariner's game with a cold pint of Vitamin R. Sue, already worn out from Seth's boundless energy and the daily chores had already gone to bed and he was left to heat up the home-made meatloaf for dinner before joining her for what he hoped would be a peaceful sleep.

However, Charlie did not possess a profound level of culinary skill, nor did he listen much to the little tid-bits of information his wife would interject with during his food preparation- which may be noted was a rare occasion. So, when Charlie sat down in his favorite spot and paused to remove one of Seth's plastic toy heroes, he found that he was - once again- dissatisfied with his meal that would have been invariably better had he been home when it was made . He had considered cutting back on his hours at the station but the tension of a personal tragedy and the subsequent grief weighed heavily upon the household; Charlie liked the escape.

Before the accident, Charlie was the quintessential family guy; he remembered anniversaries, birthdays and the kids' plays, he snuck Seth chocolate before dinner, after dinner and during their fishing trips, he called his older children just to hear the sounds of their voices, he was rarely late home and doted endlessly upon his granddaughter.

After he had received the fateful call, Charlie Swan had never been able to go back to who he once was. He began to forget little things, like going to the grocery store to pick up the pasta, or remembering Seth's evening football practice. Sue, suffering the same grief, could not find a comfortable medium where they could relate to one another, and so, they isolated themselves until they found a mutual understanding to avoid the subject of the incident altogether. Life carried on in the household, but the homeliness, the deep and ethereal love the Swan's had for life was gone- like a candle snuffed out by a storm.

So when the clock chimed ten, Charlie lifted himself from his frayed seat and deposited his half eaten meal into the garbage disposal before rinsing his dishes. Instead of drying them and placing them back into the correct cupboard, Charlie left them on the counter-top, never mustering the courage to look directly at the daffodil-yellow cupboard, littered with photographs and assorted childhood paintings.

Sue had found a new place for them anyway- a dish rack she'd purchased from the dime-store.

Just as he was about to head up the stairs, a flash from a pair of headlights penetrated the thin curtains that were drawn in the living room. As soon as they appeared, they were gone, along with the low, heady rumble of a car engine. Wary of the footsteps crunching along the gravel he had placed down for the coming winter months, Charlie waited for the inevitable knock upon the Swan door.

However, the knock never came. Instead, a set of keys jingled before they deftly opened the lock and inched the door open with little force. Movements were heavy and shuffling, interjected by stifled sobs and sniffling. As soon as the face of his youngest daughter appeared from behind the wood, Charlie descended the two steps he had managed and quickly came face to face with her blotchy complexion.

"Hi, Dad," Bella mumbled, hair cascaded around her face in a messy disarray. She attempted to drag an olive colored duffel behind her but caught it on the doorstep, which forced her to yank at it until it slid over the threshold.

"Damned thing gets in my way all the fucking time, got it trapped in the trunk yesterday - spent a half hour trying to unlock it so that I could put it in properly- not enough money to get it fixed, and that's not to mention the driver's door…" she paused momentarily, swiping a trembling hand through her hair before booting the duffel into the hall and closing the door behind her.

Charlie, like many of the people in town, remained a silent observer throughout her strained actions. The prominent bulge to her abdomen - which hadn't been so obvious the last time she was in town- was now starkly visible, it jutted out from her small frame like she had shoved one of Seth's basketballs down her sweater.

"You might as well take a picture," Bella huffed, annoyed at the fact that everybody around her seemed so invested in the one thing she _didn't _want to talk about as of late.

Charlie shuffled awkwardly, he didn't want to admit that Bella's appearance was unexpected for him, despite Sue's warnings that she may be arriving any day.

"I'm sorry, Honey," Charlie finally mumbled- a trait Bella had inherited to a tee; he gently pulled her in for a hug and kissed the crown of her head, and rubbed her back as a small act of comfort.

"Would you like something to eat?" he ventured, completely unoffended when Bella scrunched her nose in precarious distaste. He didn't know why he still asked the kids anymore…the answer was always a resounding no if he was involved.

"I'm just going to head upstairs," she replied, shrugging off her thickest sweater and dumping it on top of her duffel, "it's kind of been a shitty day and I just want to go to sleep." Charlie raised a familiar stern brow at her choice of language, but knowing it was a defining trait of his daughter's nature, he decided to let it slide- again.

"Stuffs where you left it," he called as she climbed the stairs.

"Thanks, Dad," she replied, shoulders hunched and weary from the events of the day. He watched her finally reach the top step, already puffing with exhaustion, until she rounded the corner to her childhood room. Without thought, he quietly picked up her duffel and coat and followed her path up the stairs and to her closed bedroom door. Had Charlie been unaffected by an intense sorrow, and emotionally capable of effective comfort, he may have listened to the hushed sobs of his daughter and charged into her room like a chivalrous knight with every intention of wiping away her tears; Charlie was not that same man. With a guilt ridden mind and an aching heart, Charlie placed the duffel by Bella's door and gently retreated as another heart-wrenching sob echoed from the depths of her room.

When he finally sank into bed next to his wife that night, Charlie fell asleep on his favorite pillow- two teardrop stains soaked into the material that had seen more than its fair share of dejection.

Two more stains than the previous night.

* * *

When Bella finally descended the beige-carpeted stairs the next morning, she was greeted by the smell of a home-cooked breakfast and one abundantly energized six year old who greeted her with a bear hug.

"Belly!"

"Hey, Buddy!" Bella enthused, scuffing his chestnut hair and peppering his face with raspberry kisses. He responded by thrashing around in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, until he finally rested his head upon her bump as she stroked his hair.

"You've been eating a lot!" he teased, poking where her belly button had popped.

"Oi, you little git!" she chuckled, pinching his nose, "you say that again and I'll give you a knuckle sandwich!" she threatened, raising and shaking an all knowing fist. The brown-eyed boy grinned mischievously and quickly sprinted away crying "Belly's got a jelly belly!"

"Seth's got a teeny weenie!" she called back, quickly earning a warning glare from Sue who was stationed at the stove.

"Momma's making oatmeal, Belly, you want some?" Seth called from where he was now coloring at the table. Bella slipped into the nearest dining chair and rubbed her temple from the pressure of yesterday's upheaval, nodding as Seth continued to hum along to himself.

"What time did you get in last night?" Sue asked, gently stirring the oatmeal with no real focus.

"Ten."

"Your father saw your car this morning, he wasn't too impressed," Sue revealed, "looks like a death trap."

"It's all I can afford," Bella pressed, smoothing her hand over the indents of the oak table - marks which had been made by countless accidents over the years.

"A good car is the difference between life and death, Isabella."

A sudden fury overcame Bella and she immediately pushed herself away from the table and awkwardly stumbled to her feet with a righteous indignation.

"Don't you think I _know _that?" she hissed, hand on hip, "I'm not an idiot!"

"I never said you were!" Sue's wooden spoon dropped to the counter-top, leaving the oatmeal to its own devices.

"You don't have to- that look says it all!"

Bella was well accustomed to Sue's mannerisms and scolding glares, having been raised by her since she was six months old. She considered Sue to be her rightful mother despite their biological differences; it hurt Bella to know that Sue was disapproving of her choices and furthermore to find out that she thought nothing of what the past had taught her.

"Bella, calm down for a minute, you don't want to get too excited-" Sue finally glanced towards Bella's stomach, feeling guilty for the sudden tension she'd created between them.

"Or what? Hurt the baby? So now I'm driving a death trap and incapable of human incubation? Jesus, why do you all care anyway? Jacob took a running jump yesterday so you might as well follow!"

"You met Jacob yesterday?" Sue asked, suddenly interested by the latter part of Bella's outburst. The Swans had been trying to get in touch with Jacob for the past few weeks to see whether he was preparing for the baby's arrival. Charlie had attempted to catch him at the garage numerous times, to no avail.

"Oh yeah," Bella hissed, "took all but fifteen minutes to drop the bomb that he's incapable of fatherhood and unwilling to take the child he wanted _so effing_ much before the accident!"

Sue glanced towards Seth who had paused his coloring for the duration of the heated rant, and quickly pulled Bella into the laundry room.

"What do you mean he's '_incapable' _?" Sue demanded, eying a weepy Bella.

"That's just it," Bella sniffed, "he basically told me to get stuffed trying to make him feel guilty and handed me a crappy note with some guy's contact information, spilled a load of salt and shit on the floor and then ran- what the hell am I gonna do, Mom?"

"Have you contacted his lawyer?"

"That's the first thing I did!" Bella sobbed, leaning against a shelf of laundry detergent and dishwasher tablets. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, wiping her runny nose on the sleeve of her robe before looking back at Sue.

"She was as bitchy as ever… said there were two options in the case of his refusal- retain parental rights and raise the child or contact an adoption agency. I can't legally make him take the baby…I'm screwed!" She cried, clenching a fist in her hair and desperately trying to hold back the tears that were stinging her already raw skin.

"Oh, Sweetie," Sue hushed, pulling Bella into a hug.

"It's so unfair," Bella murmured into her shoulder, finding a stitch of comfort in the familiar scent of Sue's white musk perfume. The unfinished flooring of the laundry room was cold against Bella's feet but the warmth that emanated from Sue triumphed over her discomfort, leaving them to embrace as the low hum of the washer reverberated in the background.

They finally parted when a worried Seth wrenched the door open and screamed that the oatmeal was "On fire!". The women quickly scrambled into the kitchen to find that the porridge was burnt beyond human consumption and Bella unlocked the back door to let some fresh air to clear the smoke.

"God!" Seth sighed, "we're never gonna get breakfast at this rate!"

* * *

As soon as the breakfast debacle was over, Sue contacted Jacob's lawyer again only to garner the same response as Bella had. Issues with surrogacy were intricate and rarely set in stone, everything relied upon the bond between the surrogate and the eventual parents. Jacob had never technically signed any adoption papers or parental rights that would tie him to the baby due to twelve week mark that they were all waiting for, meaning that Bella would be left to treat the situation as a normal pregnancy with the right to make her own decisions regarding the well-being of the child.

The news weighed heavily upon Bella and she offered to take Seth for a drive so they could get some fresh air. However, Sue was reluctant for either of them to get in the car and suggested they go for a walk to the grocery store instead. Finding herself offended once again by Sue's insinuations, Bella quickly bundled Seth into a hat and scarf, before plopping him into a puffy jacket she'd purchased for him as a birthday present the previous Christmas.

Bella lead the way down the gritted road, clipping weed heads with her Converse as they ambled along. The route to the store was relatively quiet and traffic was rare from the north end. She readjusted Seth's red and white bobble hat that reminded her of _Where's Whally, _and grabbed his hand with one as the other palmed her stomach from the inside of her coat pocket.

"Don't be mad at Momma," Seth spoke quietly, interrupting the silence they'd been strolling to.

"It's grown up stuff, Seth, don't worry about it, I'm not mad at her" she assured, trying to keep his mind off certain situations. She wanted him to have a happy childhood like she'd had, despite the premature sorrow and grief he had been subjected to, after all, he was still only a little boy.

He was quiet again, scuffing his worn sneakers along the sidewalk as he grasped onto her bare hand with his mittened one.

"Momma just doesn't like cars no more," he whispered, kicking a rock in their path. Bella looked at the young boy, suddenly feeling guilty for the angry outburst she'd had earlier.

"Momma and me, we walk everywhere," he continued, "Only Pops drives in his police car."

"What do you mean you walk everywhere?" Bella pushed, confused.

"I told you, Momma doesn't like cars no more. We walk to school now," he spoke, skipping by her side and completely unaware of the enormity of his revelation. Now she seemed to understand Sue's concerns over her car and it made her feel selfish for disregarding them. But nonetheless, this was a revelation that Bella was unaware of, a revelation that proved that Sue was still being haunted by the accident.

"Buddy, your school's two miles away," Bella voiced, stopping them in their tracks, "don't your little legs get tired?" she asked, crouching down in front of him the best she could.

"Sometimes," he shrugged, "but I like it. Momma and I talk lots, about school and TV and dinner on the way home…we talk about Leah and Tia too…sometimes," he began to trail off, unsure of whether or not he was allowed to be speaking in such intimate detail.

"You do, huh?" Bella asked, her throat clenching at the mention of _them_.

"Uh-huh," he smiled, his brown orbs boring into hers with a sense of relief, but then his smile started to falter and he gently buried his face into the crook of her neck, hiding himself in her long locks.

"I miss them."

His three word sob mumbled into her ear pierced Bella's already shattered heart, causing the tears to fall this time, nothing hindering their pathway down her cheeks. She clutched the little boy close to her chest and hugged him tightly as he snuffled into her hair. Seth and Tia had been close in age- Seth being that thirteenth anniversary surprise and Tia being born only thirteen months after him. They were practically brought up together.

"Do you think they l-like it in h-heaven," he mumbled, his breath hitching with the force of his sobs. Bella was unsure of what lay beyond death and whether she believed in any sort of divine spirit, but she liked to think that there was a happier place once they were gone from earth.

"I betcha they love it," she whispered, rubbing his back, "I bet they're watching you now and calling you a Silly Billy for crying."

On the sidewalk, along the deserted route of 101, bathed in twilight and huddled with her six year old brother, Bella realized that it was the first time since the actual incident that she was able to verbalize anything relating to Leah and Tia. What she didn't realize earlier was the fact that she was not the only one affected in the long run of things. Gently squeezing the little boy against her chest, she knew that there was a lot more that she was missing from home than she first thought.

"Hey," she cooed, bringing Seth from her shoulder and sliding his bobble hat back up to his brow. She wiped his snotty nose against her sleeve without reservation and gently used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the remaining tears on his flushed cheeks.

"Why don't we speak to them, hmm?" she suggested, watching his brows furrow in confusion.

"Momma said we can't telephone them no more," he replied, sadness written all over his face.

"You don't have to use a telephone to speak to someone in heaven, silly!" she grinned, tweaking his nose, "come here," she said, lying down on the nearest grass verge and patting the spot next to her. Seth looked at her as though she'd lost her mind but she patted the ground again and he gently followed her ministrations.

"You comfy?"

"Yup," he replied, "but my bum's gonna get wet."

"It doesn't matter, I'll get Mom to run you a bath when we get home."

"No!" he shrieked," turning on his side to look at her with horror.

"Do you want to speak to them or not?" she challenged, "or are you gonna moan because you need a bath?"

"Let's talk Belly," he whispered, grabbing her hand again.

"Alright," she started, "you see those clouds there?" She felt him nod against her and she peeked to make sure he was looking, "well way up high, past the clouds is where heaven is, okay?" she explained; never having had to teach kids the meaning of heaven before, she thought the route she was going down was relatively safe.

"You can't get to it on a plane?" Seth asked.

"Nope," Bella sighed, "it's a special place where people go after they are finished here, with me and you. Up there they can look down at us and watch how we're doing, and they'll listen to us when we talk to them…"

"But they're so far away!" Seth replied shocked.

"Uh-huh," Bella mumbled, "but they can hear you, trust me."

"Can I try?"

"Of course, Bud, go ahead."

Seth was hesitant for a while until Bella urged him on and told him to tell them all about school and his Mom and Pops…at first he was worried when he got no reply but as soon as she explained that they couldn't reply, he seemed to understand and continued to talk about his friends from first grade and the pet caterpillar they had captured. She listened to his innocent ramblings and watched as he motioned with his hands and kicked his feet in glee at the memory of the time Pops had chased him around the yard.

"Belly?" Seth whispered, softly drawing her from her musings.

"I'm done," he smiled, "did you hear me tell them all about the fat caterpillar?"

"I sure did!"

His mittened hand gently rose and rested on her belly, stroking roughly about where the baby's elbow was currently lodged.

"Want to see something cool?" Bella volunteered, propping herself onto her elbows.

"Yeah!"

"Take your mitten off quickly," she urged. He immediately complied and rose a bare hand to prove he'd finished. She gently guided it to the middle of her abdomen and over the spot where she'd been feeling movement for the past ten minutes.

"Leave it there for a second."

Seth watched the spot intently and kept his hand as still as possible before his mouth opened in an awed shock.

"Wow!" he gasped, "look, she's poking me!" he giggled, prodding the spot where Bella thought a foot was poking.

"Hey, we don't know what the baby is yet," she warned, "it might be a boy."

"Sorry baby," he whispered to the bump, but it was evident what he was rooting for.

"Will I get to play with the baby when it's here?" he asked, prodding the bump again and smiling with glee as it rippled under the skin.

Bella gently removed Seth's hand and pulled his mitten back on before asking whether he wanted to grab some chocolate from the store. The sudden diversion of conversation had Seth whooping and cheering so that his breath expelled as a foggy mist and Bella steadily rose to her feet while he punched the air with glee.

"Can I get those Kissy things?" he asked excitedly, "I'm gonna save one for Momma…she likes kisses," he blushed.

"Sure, Bud."

The conversation regarding the baby remained taboo all the way back to the Swan residence and Bella earned herself a light scolding from Sue when she saw that Seth had chocolate smeared across his mouth. However, her resolve was softened when Seth presented her with a melted Hershey's Kiss from being held tightly in his mittened hand.

Bella excused herself from the family dynamic and silently made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She spent the next few hours picking through boxes and familiarizing herself with nick-knacks she'd collected in the past. Souvenirs from holidays and pebbles from La Push, among pressed flowers and homemade friendship bracelets. A Christmas card from when she was eighteen lay in the bottom of one of the boxes, she opened it fondly, catching the black and white sonogram from her sister's first scan.

Bella only had one sonogram of the baby that currently resided in her womb…and she'd sent it to Leah as soon as she'd left the obstetricians, barely able to contain the excitement over the fact that the surrogacy was a success. Eight weeks gone and everything was perfect; Leah had been unable to make the trip down from Seattle because of Tia's chickenpox fever but the girls shared their glee through phone-calls and letters.

Leah had never made it for the next months.

Bella quickly replaced all of the sentimental objects of her past back into dust lidded boxes and slid them under her bed. In need of a distraction, she booted up the ancient desktop that had once been a squabbling issue between Leah and herself. She surfed the net aimlessly, checking her e-mails and other website favorites until the baby began to squirm and shift. After staring at the screen for a while, her fingers quickly tapped at the keyboard and as soon as the word "Adoption" appeared in the search box, she pressed 'Enter' and waited for the screen to load.

At first, she was barraged by a list of agencies and legal sites that only served to confuse her, and she grimaced at the fact that such 'agencies' existed like supermarkets; it was a baby, not a product. Eventually, she found a site pertaining to birth moms and their stories. For hours she remained glued to the screen, reading and evaluating each person's decision. It was much like what she was going to do in a few short months anyway…to give the child she'd carried for nine months to her sister and her family, who by all odds could not have children of their own. But the difference was that she was going to be a part of the child's life as much as possible, she knew that her sister had the love and capability as witnessed by her own very eyes.

Of course, an open adoption would leave room for her to be a part of the child's life…but the couple would have no real connection to the Swan family; guarantees were not as firm as those between blood relatives.

There was also the fact that the baby, technically, was genetically hers as per the traditional surrogacy route which meant that her own flesh and blood would be raised by someone she _chose_.

It would be on her head if in eighteen years the child turned up on her doorstep demanding to know how and why she could ever give them away.

The debate tired her.

Just as she shut the computer down, a soft knock came from behind the door, followed by the turning of the door knob.

"Heya, Bud, you ready for bed?" she asked, noticing Seth who was clad in Buzz Lightyear pj's.

"Uh-huh!" he grinned, "I came to say goodnight, before Momma reads me a story."

"Ah, you better come here then," she opened her arms as he walked into her open embrace.

"Night," he mumbled, kissing her on the cheek.

"Nighty, night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!" she sang as he wriggled in her grasp.

He ran back into the hall but quickly made a double take.

"I forgot!" he cried.

"Forgot what-"

"Mwah!" he giggled, pressing his lips to her stomach, "I forgot to give baby a kiss goodnight, Silly!" he stressed, gently patting the spot his lips had been moments before.

"Now, to infinity and beyond!" he called, stretching one arm out front and one out back before charging down the hall.

As another downpour of rain began, spattering against her window pane, Bella finally understood the enormity of what she was considering. By giving away the baby, another loss would befall the family…one more grief to overcome and another eternal sorrow that would forever remain etched in Bella's heart.

In a sudden moment of clarity, Bella quickly rose from her seat and chucked the notepad she had been making a list of pros and cons on and ignored it as it fell onto the floor, narrowly missing the bed. In her haste to find Sue, Bella accidentally caught the edge of her bedside table and cursed under her breath before crouching to grab the bottle of vitamins she'd knocked to the floor and the flimsy piece of paper Jacob had abandoned her with.

Curiosity peaked, she gently unfurled the edged of the paper and scoffed at the '_info' _Jake had provided. A number- beginning with a Seattle dialing code - was jotted down in Leah's handwriting. Bella turned the paper over and noted that it was all that existed on the battered thing.

"Thanks a heap, Jake," she grumbled, and slammed it back down onto the bedside table.

She met Sue in the hall, just as she was closing the door to Seth's room.

"He fell asleep taking to the clouds," Sue commented, allowing the smallest of smiles to grace her lips as Bella leaned a shoulder against the wall.

"Hmm," Bella smiled to herself, "it's his way of communicating with them," she explained, "there's no need for a telephone in heaven."

"No, I suppose there isn't…" she trailed off, taking one last peak at the little brown-haired boy scrunched into a ball and engulfed by his _Toy Story _bedspread, "How are you doing, Sweetie," she pried, noting the dark circles that marred her youngest daughter's skin and the way her collar bones were a little too protruded for her liking.

"I'm alright, I guess," Bella shrugged, digging at her fingernails.

"I left your dinner in the oven," Sue explained, "I figured you could heat it up whenever you're hungry."

"Thanks."

Although neither could confirm it for sure, both were coming to a certain middle ground, a certain unspoken apology for earlier behavior. Though neither one really needed to vocalize it, Sue was the first to apologize, and the pair embraced once again under the mutuality of forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Bella spoke softly into Sue's shoulder.

"I am too, Baby…I am too," Sue gently stroked her hair and slowly brought her face into her vision, palming both her tear streaked cheeks.

"You just stay strong, okay?" she ordered, "I know I can be overbearing and I know all you want to do sometimes is sock me in the mouth, but I can't bear to let anything to happen to you…to _any _of you," she explained.

Bella nodded, slowly straightening herself into a more comfortable stance.

"I was wondering if you could teach me some of that," Bella said, waiting for the recognition on her mother's face.

"Teach you what, Baby?"

"Y'know," she smirked, "how to be overbearing, teaching kids how chocolate before dinner is worse than the devil himself…mom stuff."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Sue suddenly questioned.

"Let's just say a certain Buzz Lightyear put things into perspective for me," Bella smiled, "we've already lost enough in this family, and even though this might be the most selfish option given my circumstances, I can't lose this too," she explained, placing a tender hand over her midriff.

Sue tried to blink her tears away, much to Bella's delight, but there was no use in trying to hide her joy because before long, the pair were huddled on the topmost step of the staircase, flicking through Bella's baby pictures which Sue had quickly rushed for from under the bed.

That night, when Charlie Swan came home, his instinct was not to butcher another meal, nor to spend mindless hours in front of the TV set watching football games from years gone by. Instead, the excited chatter between his wife and youngest daughter, echoing from the top of the stairs, stirred something within him. Ascending the steps, he found them lounging against the hall wall, photographs spanning two decades scattered among them. Silently, he grabbed a handful and observed; a particularly candid photo of his two daughters, nestled in a pile of autumn leaves somewhere in the end of '92 evoked the most powerful smile he had been able to muster since the accident… a joy Charlie Swan had not partaken in for a long while.

* * *

AN: I heart Seth more than my life...he teaches me how to love people.

This is all fictional, I do not express my opinion on adoption/ surrogacy in any way, shape or form...this is Bella's tale and Bella's take on life.


	3. Cadillac Chaos

Refunded, Darling

_Cadillac Chaos_

It was a Thursday afternoon, two weeks after her arrival from Arizona when Bella finally cracked. After promising Sue that the Coupe De Ville would only ever be used for dire emergencies, Bella excavated her keys from the freezer compartment of the refrigerator and settled behind the wheel of her car with a satisfied exhale.

In hindsight, offering to walk Seth to school three times a week seemed to be the perfect opportunity for gentle exercise. However, in reality, Bella found that her feet blistered and swelled even in the comfort of her trusty Converse, which had been the only footwear that had offered optimum comfort in her pregnant state. Not to mention, the one and _only _road the Swans could take to the school also coincided with Mike Newton's route to work. Bella cursed every name under the sun when Mike had first stopped her before the junction to Newton's Outfitters; Seth, however, had reveled in Bella's acerbic tongue.

Unlike the previous Tuesday, when she and Seth had found themselves in a heavy downpour, Bella had already checked the day's weather forecast which had ultimately cinched the deal over whether to ride the "Death-trap" or suffer the monstrosity of dime sized blisters in torrential rain.

With difficulty, she dug underneath her seat until she found her beanie and pulled it over her head while she searched for her one and only pregnancy obsession - cinnamon scented car fresheners. Bella was not proud to admit it, but through some bizarre pregnancy hoarding, she'd had to flirt with a car valet to the point of cornering him just so that he'd throw in a free box of fresheners for her use. Now, a cinnamon scented tree hung from her rear-view mirror as a testament to her victory.

As soon as she'd reversed out of the drive, Bella had to turn on the windshield wipers full blast. She veered left and took the southbound road to kill some time before Seth had to be picked up from school. If she was quick enough, she'd would get back before Sue got home from her church group to refreeze her beloved keys.

Unfortunately for Bella, the severity of the torrential downpour, coupled with the Coupe De Ville's deteriorated mechanics and second hand parts finally proved too much for her treasured car. Bella slammed a fist against the peeling dash as the Coupe De Ville began to lose speed; something clunked loudly and before she knew it, she was steering off the road and onto the nearest grass verge.

"You total piece of shit!" she cursed, biting her lip to stem the overflow of anger that bubbled within.

As the car sputtered one last time, Bella felt an unrelenting sense of guilt and shame.

"I'm sorry!" she back-pedaled, "come on car, don't do this to me now!"

Bella twisted the key in the ignition and after a few attempts at reigniting the engine, fell back against the seat in defeat. The noise of the radio, which had once been playing a crackly version of some long forgotten tune was now replaced by the heavy spattering of rain against the Coupe De Ville, drowning the windows in a blur of Olympic rain. Bella swept her fingertips over the windshield, knowing that there was a gas station somewhere up ahead, but not one hundred percent certain how far away it was. The rosary beads hanging alongside the cinnamon scented tree - a present Leah had gotten her from a trip to Italy - swayed in a display of mockery and she swatted them angrily.

Too far to walk home and without the twenty five dollar cell she'd accidentally let Seth play with and destroy, Bella had no choice but to go to the gas station, or remain sat in her car waiting for an absent rescue.

Already tired with the debate, she grabbed her coat from the passenger seat and awkwardly pulled it over her body whilst trying to keep her bump from pressing against the wheel.

The rain beat down relentlessly but thankfully, Bella's coat was waterproof and fully capable of withstanding the storm's severity- but Bella still did not want to bring that fact to attention, because then she would have to thank Newton's outfitter's and in turn, Mike Newton. Her beanie and mittens, however, were completely sodden and uncomfortably scratchy against her skin; had she also remembered to wear a pair of socks with her Converse, she may have been a little more Miss Sunshine in that area as well.

After ten minutes of walking, Bella finally found the _Hale & Son's_ gas station. Frankly, she hadn't purchased anything from the station before or needed anything in previous passing, something she found slightly odd considering eighteen of her twenty three years had been spent in the dingy little town. Her father had always warned her of the place, he'd been sent on many domestic calls throughout her childhood and the Hales were the talk of the town on several occasions. The station became just another dot on the map to Bella, she followed her father's orders and drove the extra mile or so to Eleazar's on the other side of town. If her father said there was good reason to avoid the place, he meant it.

Of course, as a child, when a place becomes taboo- it becomes an opportunity for speculation. Having turned a blind eye to playground mutterings, the idea of the place being a breeding ground for violent, ripped-sleeved truckers and drifters still wasn't foreign to Bella. Neither was the one tattered Polaroid of Bella's biological mother sporting a _Hale and Son's blouse_, tucked secretly down the side of her baseboard.

As soon as she reached the wooden lodge serving as the store, she ripped the soaked beanie from her head and tucked it into her pocket. A neon sign declaring the store 'OPEN' caused her to squint and she scrunched her nose in distaste, hoping beyond all hope that there was somebody who could help her and not some old gossip-embittered man looking for a quick buck.

When the door wouldn't open, a sharp voice shouted "Push harder" and so Bella complied, shoving her shoulder against the wood. The door flung open almost causing her to land straight on her back, but quick reactions learned from years of grazed knees and endless tumbles, allowed her hand to grab a shelf, effectively saving her from a painful reintroduction with the floor.

"Ah hell!" someone cursed, slamming the counter, "you're not drunk are you? Coming in here and tearing about the place, I've got a crowbar-"

"What?" Bella gasped, regaining her footing, ignoring the several candies she had knocked to the floor. She snapped her head towards the voice and blanched when she came face to face with a blonde woman, clutching a crowbar with a terrifying sense of ease.

"Holy shit," Bella choked, "are you crazy?"

The woman watched Bella like a hawk, eyes roamed over her as though she was judging the relative safety of allowing her free roam within the station. Her eyes roved over the taught, khaki material zipped over Bella's midriff and instantly, the rusted crowbar - already dented in several places- lowered. Bella released a shaky exhale, and tried to calm the erratic heartbeat thudding in her chest.

"Are you looking for Phil?" the woman demanded.

"No," Bella retorted, still eying the crowbar dangling from a tattooed hand.

"Well?" the woman spat, "what're you doing here? You ain't got no car and no one walks through this shitty weather just for a candy bar."

"I broke down ten minutes from here, car's on the side of 101," Bella replied, swiping a hand through her dampened hair. She shuffled awkwardly and the soles of her shoes squeaked against the linoleum.

"Look, I just need to use a phone or something, I'm supposed to pick up my brother from the elementary school and he'll be waiting for me."

"Pay-phone's over there," the woman pointed, turning on her heel and settling back behind the counter. Bella's hands quickly fumbled through her pockets, hoping to find a spare quarter or two, but only found pieces of lint and an empty chocolate wrapper from a certain craving on her way home from Arizona.

"Do you have a free phone I could use?" Bella ventured, instantly feeling intimidated by the woman's dime-store lipstick sneer.

"Do we look like a charity?"

With only one more trick left up her sleeve and patience wearing thin, Bella damned all of her reservations to hell and quickly grasped her middle with a believable grunt. She leaned one hand against a rack of chips while panting steadily for increased effect.

"Hey lady, you okay?"

"No," Bella snapped, "look Blondie, I walked all this way through a god-damn storm with blistered feet, I'm soaked to the bone and freezing as hell - being seven months pregnant really doesn't fit in well with the situation either."

While Bella clutched her middle, the woman from behind the counter watched the scene before her with a trepidation that Bella couldn't place. She glanced out of the station window and back to Bella before releasing a frustrated sigh and fishing for a cell behind a row of cigarettes and matches.

"If I get mugged, I don't want my stuff being taken," she explained when Bella's brows knit in confusion, "took me near enough a year to afford this baby," she added, lifting the cell in plain sight.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry," Bella smirked sarcastically, "you and your crowbar kung fu are pretty cutthroat."

"All part of the trade, Darlin'."

She plunked the phone in Bella's outstretched hand and nudged her out of the way so she could begin replacing the candies back on the shelf.

"Be quick, I ain't got a lot of minutes left," she warned. Bella nodded and leaned against an empty Popsicle freezer, unplugged at the wall. The school offered to place Seth in an after school program as a one off giving Bella the chance to call her father who would be able to pick him up after his shift.

"Bella, I don't like you being there, baby," Charlie warned down the phone.

"I know, I know, Dad," she lowered her tone, "just get Seth and then head over here quick okay?"

"If it wasn't for this damn faculty meeting I'd take the night off Bells-"

"Don't worry," she interrupted, "I'm alright," _for now_, "now get back to work."

"Be careful, Bella."

She ended the call and waited for the blonde woman to return so that she could hand the cell back to her. She'd disappeared halfway through the call and out through a back door with a packet of cigarettes. Tired from waiting, she placed the cell onto the front counter, sidetracked by a hand-written list that looked like it had been erased several times.

Bella's heart sunk when she realized that it was a list of hopes for the future. The spelling was faulty in places but the number one hope scrawled across the top of the yellowed paper struck something melancholy within Bella.

_Get out of hear._

She dropped the paper as though she had been burned and stepped away from the counter as the force of the written admission weighed heavily upon her. Despite the bitterness of the young woman and her deadly attitude, Bella could not help but feel guilty.

The young woman entered the room again, bringing with her a heady draft of smoke and rain. On closer inspection, Bella noticed her gnawed fingernails, bitten bloody by hours spent alone in the confinement of the gas house. She tried to recollect whether she'd seen the woman during her childhood; she looked as old if not a couple of years older than Bella which would mean that they attended some form of schooling together.

"You done?" the blonde asked, pulling Bella from her gentle musing.

"Yeah, thanks, my Dad's picking him up-"

"What about you? Where you going? It's still raining," There was a sense of panic in her voice, a child-like vulnerability, something akin to abandonment and it unsettled Bella. Squirming in her shoes, Bella shrugged and fingered the damp beanie in her pocket. She could walk back to the car and revel in the silence the Coupe De Ville would bring - and it's safety from crazed blondes wielding crow bars. Or, she could stay put until Charlie came for her- which would mean another couple of hours under the scrutiny of the blonde longing for escape.

"I don't want to put you out any further," Bella replied, remembering her earlier hesitancy.

The blonde checked the clock above the counter, the one Bella noticed hadn't moved since her arrival, and bit her lip pensively. She bit at her fingers again and re-checked the south-facing window with timorous eyes.

"You can stay here, but you gotta be gone before dark sets in," she warned.

"Why?"

"Look, I offered you a place to stay, do you want it or not?"

Bella nodded, "sure."

The pair remained standing in the middle of the gas house unable to make the first move. A sudden crack of lightning had the blonde jump in fright, before she spun on her heels and stalked to the back room.

"You can sit in here, got some comfy couches and some voided caramel bars or whatever."

Bella followed timidly, coming to stand by the blonde as she motioned towards the two musty couches circling an outdated TV set. A tasseled lamp bathed the room in a dusky light, and a mini fridge hummed from the corner; Bella felt unsettled in the room but the blonde was finally being hospitable and she didn't want to ruin the offer she had so graciously made.

"I'm Rosalie," the blonde spoke, dropping herself onto a couch and lazing against a pillow, "people call me Rosie or Rose- y'know, like the garden flower." Finally placing a name to the face, Bella started to feel little more welcomed in Rosalie's little hideaway. She could see the appeal of Rose's name against her features- she was strikingly beautiful but evidently self conscious by the amount of cheap make up plastered against her pallid skin. But delicate- the other attribute of a rose- she was not. She stormed around the place in steel-toed boots, dragged her feet and slammed doors. Her face was hardened making it hard to judge whether Bella's perceptions of her were true or not.

Not only that, but the uniform she wore had been altered according to Rosalie's taste- the bottom of her shirt was ripped, falling just above her naval, and her cut off shorts only served to enhance her every curve. It seemed to Bella that Rosalie not only warded off trouble, but she welcomed it in the same sense.

"You got a name?" Rosalie called, kicking her boots off and tucking her feet behind her.

"Bella."

"Hmm," she sounded, looking towards the back door.

"How long you got?"

"Two hours," Bella replied.

"Ha!" Rosalie suddenly laughed, "Ha!"

Bella looked at her with caution, "what's so funny?"

"You!" Rosalie laughed, "you're so funny to me!"

"Whatever," Bella hissed, not getting the joke one bit.

"Geeze," Rosalie breathed, "don't have a cow. I meant how long you got until the kid pops?"

"Two months."

"Cool, cool…know what it is?"

"Nope."

"Got any names?"

"Nope."

"You married?"

"No!"

"Well ain't you just bubbly," Rosalie grumped.

"I'm sorry," Bella huffed, not really wanting to start conversation on the one topic she liked to keep a homely issue. It was hard enough being able to keep a flowing conversation with random people without pressing on issues she didn't like to divulge to strangers.

"Look, Bella, take a fucking hike if for one minute you think you're better off someplace else."

"Rosalie- It's not-"

"Course it is," Rose interrupted, "I get it…some dumbass hick like me ain't worth your time."

"Really, Rose, it's not you-"

"Whatever, I was just trying to make conversation."

There was an uncomfortable silence about the room; Rose continued to gnaw at her nails, avoiding looking at Bella under all circumstances. Bella removed her coat and crossed her arms over her swollen stomach while shaking the leg crossed over her right knee. It continued that way for ten minutes until Rose finally started up again. She couldn't keep quiet for long and Bella had a suspicion that she was an attention seeker, but she was trying to be friendly at least which meant Bella had to be cordial also.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

"Bit young to be having a baby don'cha think?"

Bluntness also seemed to be another of Rose's attributes, as though no one had really taught her the values of being discreet.

"Maybe," Bella sighed, "but I haven't got any choice."

"What do you mean '_I haven't got any choice_?' sure you have! Don't you dare let anybody tell you that you ain't got no choice."

"I'm all this baby has," Bella mumbled, "I wasn't supposed to be its Mom, but things changed and now, I have to be."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, "of course you're supposed to be its Mom- otherwise some other chick'd be pregnant and sicking up every five minutes and complaining about back ache."

"I was a surrogate," Bella confessed, and twiddled a loose thread on her sweater.

"Was?"

"Mhmm…something happened and basically, cutting the sob story short, here I am…having to raise it myself."

"Jesus," Rose whistled, "I thought you couldn't refund these kinds of things; where's the other fifty percent?"

"What?"

"The Dad," Rose clarified, "where's he?"

Bella shrugged thinking of Jacob and how he had left her at the diner all alone, crying in a booth with only the company of her veggie burger. But, then again, Jacob was not the _other fifty percent _which made Bella all that more glum knowing that the real father was just a six digit number on a frozen vial somewhere south of Seattle. Of course, she knew his height and specific attributes through having made the decision with Leah one cloudy afternoon at the donor clinic. Leah had preferred candidate 112833 but something about profile 062085 had called to Bella's uterus and through some tough persuasion, Leah was finally won over. Of course, Bella wasn't their first surrogate- Jacob had been diagnosed infertile and instead of waiting on adoption agencies and having a bad experience with a birth mom who bailed, the couple sought a donor clinic where Bella had helped Leah to pick 062085. Jake had decided to opt out of the visits to avoid the scathing feeling he felt being unable to provide his wife with a child.

After three months of failed attempts and a couple thousand dollars later, Leah was pregnant. However, the pregnancy was difficult and Leah suffered from hypertension. There were a couple of scares and in her eighth month, Leah went into early labor. Her contractions lasted for over two days before she could finally push, and when Tia was born, she bled out heavily and the hospital had to perform an emergency hysterectomy.

When Tia turned five, the couple wanted a sibling for her and still in possession of 062085's vials, Leah and Jacob had the means to make that a reality; hence, where Bella came into play. What Bella hadn't been told until she was already pregnant was the fact that Jacob and Leah updated donor 062085 annually, with a short letter about Tia and a photograph. It had been on his profile that if his 'donation' was ever used, he would only request that he be informed and updated once a year. She supposed it was logical, for most people who donated, they could have several children dotted around the place with no knowledge of any of them.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" she asked, turning towards Rose, the idea of 062085 swimming aimlessly in the back of her mind.

"Do you think you could have really given the baby away?"

Bella was rendered speechless for the moment. Her immediate answer was "yes"- just like she'd told Leah again and again and again. From the moment of conception, Bella had been sure of herself and sure of her decision. She was relatively young and this factor made it easier for her to make the decision- she had all the time in the world to have a child of her own. However, somewhere, in the back of her mind there was a niggling doubt that she had never shared with another soul.

If Leah had been alive at that moment, the same moment wherein the baby shifted and hiccuped in her womb, would Bella have felt the same way? Knowing that technically, this was her child, and her flesh and blood?

Rose had planted a seed and Bella was starting to resent it's growth.

In a way, beginning to doubt her response felt as though Bella was betraying Leah from beyond the grave and suddenly it became clear that Bella would have done whatever her sister asked of her, no matter what the consequences for her spelled out.

And she saw her mistake.

"_Jesus" _Rose breathed, "you wouldn't have done it."

Bella shook her head violently, warding the tears from her eyes.

"I would! This baby wasn't mine to keep!"

"What happened to them?" Rose pushed, "to the people you were the surrogate for?"

"There was an accident," she mumbled, not willing to say any more. Rose seemed to understand and the conversation drifted off into a melancholy silence.

"My mom was in an accident," Rose suddenly confessed, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. Bella felt no need to ask any questions as Rosalie continued, preferring to listen and avoid personal questions that could lead to further upset.

"She ran away- hitched a ride with a trucker and made it to California before she was hit by a petrol tanker. Couldn't have a funeral and all that…kinda nothing left."

"At least she got out of here though," Rose puffed, "I mean, she made it out of here….out there."

"My Dad - Phil- I mentioned him didn't I? Yeah, well….he owns this joint, puts me in charge during the day. He doesn't talk about Mom, he liked it here and she didn't, funny how it worked out though isn't it? Curiosity killed the cat and all that? Ha."

Bella felt for Rosalie, but the cool and casual attitude she held in regards to her mother's death was unsettling.

"But I don't care, Bella," she sighed, "I don't care about her because she didn't want to stay for me. That's why I know you'll be a cool Mom to your baby, you don't wanna say it, but you _want _that baby. You could go chuck it in a foster home or something, but you won't. S'not gonna know the difference whether you were gonna give it away to a family or not, its just gonna love you because you're there for it. That's why you're different from my mom and that…_that _is why I like you."

Although Bella could never admit it aloud, or even to herself, the issues Rosalie raised rang true. The guilt would forever remain pitted in the depths of her soul, a betrayal of sorts that could never be forgiven or acknowledged.

With every passing minute and in the presence of a broken clock that would never remind them of the time that had passed, Bella and Rosalie found a stalemate, a point at which both parties found discussion they could both relate to.

Neither loved the rain but found a comfort in it- like a gentle reminder of home. Rosalie fancied herself a dab hand in the kitchen whereas Bella wasn't welcome in fear of poisoning her family. Both took after their fathers- but Rosalie was rather hesitant to admit that factor.

"I can't believe you have a brother in elementary school," Rose teased.

"Believe me," Bella smiled, "it's as crazy as it sounds. I think my Dad was shocked the most, and Leah…" Bella suddenly quietened, realizing she'd mentioned her aloud.

"Who's Leah?"

"She was my sister," Bella admitted proudly, stroking her bump at the memory of her.

"Was?"

Bella nodded, swiping a sleeve across her eyes and cursing.

"I don't want to cry," Bella said angrily, bringing the sleeve to her face again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," she whispered, "it's still raw at the moment."

Rose observed her questioningly, eyes roved over her abdomen once more but the silence spoke for itself. Bella never really knew whether Rosalie had worked it out that day, or whether it was during one of their frequent meetings that sparked it off, but Rosalie seemed to understand and never pried after that.

"Belly! Where are you?"

Rose sat up as soon as Seth's voice rang through the gas house, she tripped over her shoes and rushed through the door with her guard raised once again.

"Hey!" she could hear Seth greet- albeit less friendly than she would have liked, "do you know where Bella is? She's a girl and she's got a baby in her belly?"

Bella smirked and quickly pulled her coat on and struggled to get up from the musty- yet oh so comfortable- couch. Seth ran towards her and past Rosalie as soon as he saw her emerge from the door.

"You're alive! Pops said your car died, I'm glad you didn't die, Belly!"

"Me too, Bud, me too," she smiled, tickling his belly and tweaking his nose.

Charlie shuffled awkwardly in the distance, hands in pockets and waiting for Bella to get a move on. Rose had backed herself behind the counter, wary of Charlie's uniform and what it represented. Rosalie had admitted that she hated cops during a rant about her life in Forks and how she'd tried to run away to Port Angeles. There was a tension in the air and Bella almost called on the pair's strange resistance to one another, suggesting to her that there was more to their sudden indifference than she first realized.

Seth wrangled Charlie into buying him a candy bar before they left and the family departed within minutes of arriving. It did not go unnoticed to Bella that Rosalie wiped the mist from the window she had been so frantic about during their introduction, and watched as the car drove up and out of sight.

There was no number swapping, nor promise to contact each other once again. The smiles traded in the back room before Seth's interruption were left behind, in the shadows of those four walls. Of course, the parting was amicable, but the vulnerability and sudden need to just _survive _emanated off of Rosalie and it was clear that a smile could not erase that particular tension.

Charlie only spoke once throughout the entire journey home.

His eyes never left the road and never looked into the rear-view mirror where Bella's face was reflected.

His voice was stern and it left no room for discussion.

"I don't want you going there again, Bella."

* * *

Sue was frantic when the trio returned. When she'd opened the door to an empty house and an absent car in the driveway, her anxiety had skyrocketed. She tried cells, Charlie's work and rang around supermarkets looking for Bella and Seth.

In case they had merely gone to the shop, she had avoided leaving the house and sat and waited in the kitchen for their return.

When two hours passed and nothing had stirred, she called the police.

Bella, Seth and Charlie were all confronted by Charlie's co-workers and a bedraggled Sue who was weeping something silly into a tissue.

"You forgot to call, Mom?" Bella shrieked in Charlie's direction.

"I thought you called her!" he retorted, quickly wiping the chocolate from his son's face to prevent any further hysteria from Sue, "Sorry Dave, Jack, I'll take it from here," he ordered, clapping a hand to Dave Stanley's back.

"Sorry, Chief, you know protocol- gotta come out if there is a problem."

"Sure," Charlie answered, "but I got it from here."

Dinner that night was strained and Bella and Sue were both at breaking point, jibing at one another throughout the entire meal. Bella felt like she was sixteen again and being chastised for sneaking out after being grounded for skipping classes. When Bella complained that she was feeling nauseous because of the garlic sauce, Sue snatched her plate and dumped it in the garbage, much to her horror.

"Now, Sue," Charlie intercepted, "that wasn't called for. Bella needs to eat for the baby."

"Well, if she cooked her own meals she wouldn't be stuck eating my garlic garbage!"

"I will if that's what you want me to do! I made everything in Arizona and I turned out just fine!" Bella grumbled, leaving the table before she said something that would inevitably hurt somebody. However, Sue followed her, leaving Seth and Charlie to watch on in horror as the two women battled in the hallway.

"Take-out doesn't count, Bella and neither do ready meals you get from the store! You need to start preparing yourself for that baby or you'll end up dumping it on your father and I!"

Bella recoiled in shock, looking at Sue with increasing disdain.

"Is that how lowly you think of me?" she hissed, "I'm perfectly capable of doing this!"

"Oh yeah," Sue retorted, "with what? Your savings will run out soon with all the things you'll have to buy and once the baby's here you'll have to find a new place because our house'll be overrun."

"Tia was always welcome here," Bella snapped.

"Tia didn't _live _here, Bella, and neither did Leah."

"Leah had Jake- I don't have a freaking' husband at my beck and call now do I?"

"That's why you've got to stand up and realize that if you want to do this, you can't rely on our support forever, we're strapped for cash as it is, and you can't make stupid decisions like you made tonight!" Sue snapped, pushing Bella into a corner.

The air was suddenly becoming acidic and Charlie had risen from his seat to come and break the argument up. Bella, however, would not back down.

"Stupid decisions? You think picking a six year old boy up in the car to save him for walking for an hour in a thunderstorm is a stupid idea? Have you even asked Seth how he feels about walking everywhere come wind, sun or snow? Yes, there was an accident, but there are accidents every day and you shouldn't let it ruin our lives!"

"That's selfish Bella, he's _my _son and I know what's best for him. If I don't want him riding in a car then I won't allow it!"

"Time-out girls," Charlie called, coming between them.

"No," Sue demanded, "she needs to understand that Leah, died- _died_ ! She isn't coming back and neither is my grandbaby. This attitude she has believing everything will be okay and that there isn't something to learn from this accident is going to get someone killed! I wont have my son around her if she doesn't change her attitude. "

"Sue," Charlie warned, "Bella isn't going to kill anybody and she loves that little boy."

"I love Belly too!" Seth suddenly appeared, burying his face in Bella's side.

But the damage was already done, Bella was struck by Sue in a way that had never been done before.

"You think I'll kill somebody?" she whispered, "you're seriously suggesting that I'm so incapable that I'd kill someone?"

"Bella she didn't mean it-"

"Oh yes she did!" Bella spat, "and you know what Sue, I'm sorry I wasn't the daughter who died."

She span on her heel before climbing the stairs, leaving Charlie to deal with Sue.

Bella was already terrified by the thought of having to raise a baby alone, with barely any funds and limited child-care knowledge. In two months the baby would be kicking and screaming its way into the world and would rely upon everything Bella had to offer…which wasn't much.

Her job in Arizona had only been temporary for the duration of her college years, and despite positions being made permanent after three years, Bella's leave of bereavement and declaration that she was pregnant never settled well with her supervisor. Of course, Bella could have made a claim and spent countless amounts of cash in court to attest the decision, however, the job wasn't all her cup of tea and she'd hated her co-workers anyway.

But now she realized that taking on the responsibility of a child would need more than what she had saved in the bank. Plus there were her insurance fees for the hospital and her future treatments. Unlike Leah, she had no doting husband, no confidante…all she had was the sparse knowledge of 062085 and a piece of paper Jake looked like he'd pulled out of a dumpster.

Glancing towards her desk, she eyed the piece of paper she'd never attempted to throw away, remembering Jake's parting words "_I got some info for you- numbers and stuff. We kept in contact with the guy over T."_

Wiping her raw eyes against her sleeve, she stumbled over to the desk and unfolded the note again, staring at the numbers as though they were a sort of holy grail. She wondered whether Jake and Leah had the chance to contact him regarding the baby- or whether they had been waiting for the first trimester to be over like they had before signing the surrogacy agreement.

Either way, Bella was left holding the note, long into the night. Already hurt by Sue's opinions and enlightened by Rose's frank speaking, her heart pushed her to do something beyond what anyone would regard as ethical.

Once the last light in the hall was extinguished and the last set of footsteps passed her bedroom and down the hall, Bella gently rose from her bed and snuck downstairs. The remains of dinner were still left on the table, abandoned in the heat of the family's argument. Neither Sue nor Charlie had gone back to clean the mess and it was left to go stale like their relationships had.

Bella quietly cleaned up and washed the dishes, placing them in the cupboard above the dish rack as a sign to the others; they couldn't live in the past forever.

Once she was finished, Bella dug for the scrawled note in her robe pocket and sank into the couch with the telephone cradled in her lap. She traced the buttons, typing the number with the slightest of touches before canceling it twice.

Then, the baby shifted kicked again, signifying to Bella that she was on the right track and to make the damn call already.

She did not consider it a warning.

Bella finally pressed the call button and waited, counting five shrill beeps before a connection was made.

"Hello?"

Bella's heart picked up speed and a sudden nausea began to overwhelm her.

"If this is those punk-ass kids again, I swear," the voice warned.

Bella gulped and wiped her sweat-slickened hands against her thighs.

"Hi," Bella finally breathed, "my name's Bella, Bella Swan."

* * *

Welcome to my Rose; Sue is grieving & I'm tired.


	4. Lightyear Prayers

Refunded, Darling

_Lightyear Prayers_

Somewhere, in an undisclosed location of Seattle, the shrill ring of an underused telephone echoed within the walls of an unkempt apartment. A man, shirtless and drowsy, rolled on his couch and lifted his left arm to squint at the watch on his wrist. Fooled again by the tattooed device, he cursed the momentary lapse of youthful judgment and used the coffee table, piled with empty Chinese take-out boxes, junk mail and adorned with an overflowing cigarette ashtray, to pull himself upright.

"Christ," he moaned, glancing at the apartment window in all of its non-curtained glory. He had no recollection of when he had passed out but as it was night, he assumed that he had been sleeping in an alcohol induced slumber since the previous evening- _everything about it had been radical_, he noted with a smirk.

He had half a mind to ignore the call; it was without a doubt the current landlord inquiring about the bouncing of the latest rent check- or possibly another harassment call from one of those punk kids, not to mention the added possibility of it being his twisted ex looking to get back together. However, the thought of it being any of the three at almost midnight seemed inconsistent with their habits and his rationality kicked in.

"For fuck's sake," he groaned as he stubbed a toe on the coffee table, he stumbled over to the corner of the room and pulled the phone out from inside the mini-fridge he used to store beers for convenient reach.

"'lo" he grunted and grabbed another beer while at the refrigerator. There was silence on the other side of the connection and for a brief second the breathing sounds reminded him of those kids who pranked him every once in a while. The anger surged within him as he ripped the beer pull open.

"If this is those punk-ass kids again, I swear," he growled in warning, already fed up of their idiotic behavior and not to mention timing.

He was, however, surprised to hear another, not-so-punk-like voice and he lowered the beer from his lips when he registered what had been said over the connection.

_"Hi, my name's Bella, Bella Swan."_

_Bella Swan. _The name rang something familiar within his mind and when it finally clicked, he was instantly thrown back half a decade and into the final hours of his high-school graduation. _Bella Swan _- the girl who tripped over her own feet on the graduation stage. _Bella Swan _- his first ever kiss on the playground of Forks elementary. He made his way back over to the sofa and dropped the beer can onto a pile of junk-mail, avoiding the Chinese carton that reeked of hoi-sin sauce.

"Fuck me," his curse echoed his own surprise, "how've you been, Doll?"

There was a long silence on the other end of the line and he listened carefully to make sure that the connection had not been cut. The last he'd heard of or seen Bella Swan was the very day he had a half-assed diploma shoved into his hand, congratulated by the principal who was more than happy to see the back of him. All of the remembering made him need a cigarette. `

"_Jasper_?"

Her tone implied surprise, which Jasper couldn't really comprehend seeing as she was the one who had called him. He didn't raise questions about her surprise, he did, however, confirm her suspicions.

"The one and only, Doll- face," he replied, throwing in a recycled term of endearment.

"I can't believe it's you…"she whispered, her silent sense of distraction marred his jovial mood. There was an air awkwardness between them; he hadn't really had much to say to Bella Swan since he was eighteen and excited at the prospect of moving from the dingy little town of Forks, and evidently, Bella was just as speechless. He flicked his dirty-blond fringe from his eyesight and coughed awkwardly. Although Bella and he had been friends five years prior, times had changed and he didn't really know her all that much now; his inclinations and intentions were never to keep up with his past- he moved forward, forgot and discarded his past haunts and acquaintances. The future was his ally.

"You know what?" she sighed heavily, "this was a stupid idea, I don't even know why I'm calling and I know I had no right. It was nice talking to you Jas-"

"Bella, are you okay?" he interrupted. Although Jasper pretended he was an ass and indifferent to a lot of society and their tendencies, in all honest truth, he cared when it really mattered. His beer can now sat discarded, droplets of carbonated alcohol leaped from the can and crashed onto a leaflet promoting half-priced pizza below. It was midnight, it had been five years since their last conversation and Bella sounded completely defeated- she hadn't called for a friendly catch-up, even she had sounded surprised to hear him answer. Jasper deduced that she was in some kind of trouble. For a moment, he wondered if the chief knew, no-one dared to mess with the Swan girls when they found out who their father was. They were untouchable in high-school.

"Where are you B? I'll come and get you if you're in trouble," he offered and vowed to throw the rest of his beer down the sink. It may have been five years but Bella Swan had been one of his best friends and an all- round class act of a girl.

He heard her sniffle on the other end of the line and she instantly refused, claiming that she was fine. Jasper's instinct was to call on her bullshit but she seemed firm on keeping him at a distance. Her call instilled a sense of nervousness within him, something was off. He coaxed her to stay on the line and they sat in a rare state of silence for a long while, neither speaking to break the disjointed tension.

Then, all of a sudden, came a blunt admission.

"My sister died."

Jasper was neither stuck nor hurt by the revelation, Leah Swan had never been a close confidant of his- merely a friend by association with Bella. Although, it did not stop Jasper feeling a stab of pain in the knowledge of his friend's plight. Bella was a great girl, she didn't deserve to suffer.

He licked his lips nervously, noting the chapped cracks with the tip of his tongue. He never had to mull over an appropriate response, Jasper was instinctive and naturally inclined to offer emotionally heart-warming advice like humans' instinct to breathe. He offered all that was appropriate in that moment, meanwhile knowing that her call was not solely based on her sister's passing. Every minute of their phone call, he formulated how he could keep her on the line until she finally felt comfortable to divulge the true reason for their midnight talk. He shuffled on the couch and pulled a flannel shirt onto his naked torso in case he had to suddenly dash to her rescue, and eyed the car keys looped around the neck of a bottle of cider on the kitchen counter.

After half an hour of aimless coaxing, Jasper decided to use the blunt tactic and finally called her out.

"Why'd you call me Bella?" he asked, wincing at his own brashness, "why now?"

"I-I" she mumbled, stumbling over the same vowel, "I needed to speak to you… but I can't do it over the phone Jazz, not like this. It's so unethical-"

_Unethical? _

"Bella, you're not making any sense, if you need help you just need to ask for it, I'm here."

"I know that," she sighed, frustrated.

"You're making this more awkward than it needs to be," he told her, "if you need a place to crash you can stay here if you want- it's not much," he offered, trying to gauge how well his generosity would be received.

It was another long while before he garnered a response, but the effort seemed to prove fruitful.

"Can I…Can I take you up on that offer?" she mumbled, seemingly at odds with herself, yet more inclined to accept his kindness, "Just for a couple of days…I need to get out of Forks" she half whispered.

_Forks_. He assumed she'd taken her offer to go to Arizona for college, maybe she hadn't, or maybe she had never found anything to stay for in The Copper State.

"Sure, no worries Doll, _mi casa es su casa_," he chirped, excited at the prospect of seeing an old friend despite his natural inclinations to leave his past in the past- it was what usually landed him in trouble.

"Do you want me to drive down?" he offered, his kindness knowing no limits in the face of his large inability to fulfill such an offer based on the crumpled twenty dollar bill in his pocket.

"No," she hurried, "I can drive up, is tomorrow okay?"

_Tomorrow _Jasper cringed and eyed the apartment in all of it's disheveled glory. There was no denying that it was a shit-tip in need of a good clean. No matter how callous and lazy he could be, Bella deserved something better than a hovel to sleep in for a few days.

"Oh, scratch that," she mumbled, "my car fucked up a couple of days ago, I need to get it fixed before I set off…can we make it Sunday?"

"Sure," he found himself saying, "Sunday's fine, need me to get anything in? You still a vegetarian?" he asked; little memories of Bella pelted his brain as he tried to remember life over half a decade ago.

"Um, yeah," she mumbled, "I am."

"Great," he responded and mentally started a checklist in his head; his recent house party had left the apartment in a state and he couldn't quite remember whether he had any bleach left, or whether there was any toilet paper in the bathroom. _Christ_, he thought. As much as he'd love to see Bella again, the prospect of getting the apartment ready for her arrival was a pretty dire thought. For such a small place there was just so much _shit _lying around.

_She's in trouble, _he reminded himself, _she'd do it for you too._

In fact, Bella had already housed Jasper on a number of occasions; his mother was a liability and he'd never known his father- so Jasper became rather acquainted with the Swan's living-room couch. That was until Chief Swan reported his mother and helped him into a foster family all those years ago. Tinged with resentment, Jasper never really went back to the Swan's after that particular fiasco, despite the fact that it actually made his life a whole lot better than it could ever have been with Ma Maria.

He recited his address and cell number for her to use, and he told her about the punk callers and why he didn't like using the telephone.

"It'll take you about three hours," Jasper guessed, he hadn't driven the route back to Forks since he left, "and I think there's a ferry involved, but you'll have to pull that up on the internet or something."

"Thanks, Jazz," she answered quietly, in a timid, vulnerable manner that Jasper Whitlock was not familiar with. The Isabella Swan he was once friends with was one of the most optimistic people he'd ever come across- he'd initially assumed it was all a plastic-Barbie facade used to garner popularity, but she'd proved him wrong and left an indelible mark upon his memory as the girl who didn't know how to frown.

"It's my pleasure," he responded, "I owe it to you and your fascination for adopting stray animals, I still miss that couch of yours," he joked.

"Oh," she giggled, _finally_, "I forgot about that," she admitted.

"Do me a favor?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Tell your Dad he wasn't a bad guy," he said, "tell him I…_appreciate _what he did for me."

She quietened again, which made Jasper sense that something was amiss in Forks.

"I'll try," she finally muttered.

"Good, so I'll see you Sunday?" he asked and flipped through the crap on his coffee table, he picked up his cell from underneath a take-out menu and checked the time- _12:40 am. Christ._

"Sunday," Bella confirmed with a yawn.

"Until then, Doll-face," he smirked.

He heard a faint hum of mirth before the phone clicked and the connection was severed. As the dial tone echoed in his ear, he exhaled a deep breath and rubbed a weary hand over his brow. A number of scenarios whirred in his imagination and he couldn't fathom why Bella needed to travel three hours to Seattle to crash at his place. He supposed the suffocation of the town itself was to blame, a death in Forks was not only a grievance for the family, but a grievance for the whole town. Forks tended to be a place where escape for fresh air without being accosted by a neighbor was as rare as a sunny day.

Jasper's fingers twitched in a fervent need to do something, the sudden upheaval of normal day to day life by his own past had struck something uncomfortable within him and the urge for a cigarette finally toppled his resolve.

He pulled a packet of smokes from his pocket, crumpled by a fitful sleep and staggered over to the window to quell the sudden feeling of unease that washed over him.

* * *

Bella woke on Saturday morning to a full-blown thunderstorm, both literally and metaphorically. Rain lashed against her bedroom window which was usually welcome reminder of home, but after a sleepless night due to sporadic jabs to the rib and as thoughts of Jasper Whitlock as the father of her unborn child, weighed heavily on her mind, she could not appreciate the rain in all of its heart-warming glory.

Also, having gone to bed without resolving issues with Sue had left the family in a high state of tension throughout the morning. Seth decided to act up, refusing to have a bath unless Bella drew it for him, refusing to eat unless Bella poured his cereal, refusing to go to church unless Bella went too.

"I'm sorry Buddy," Bella apologized to Seth, who sobbed into her side when she told him she wouldn't be going to church, "I'm just feeling a little bit sick." The ultimate truth was that Bella fancied herself an atheist, especially in the light of her sister's death, the added thought of pitiful glances proffered by most of Sue's congregation also aided her inclination to avoid the church.

"But I want _you_, Belly!" he sniffled, shrugging off Sue's hand on his shoulder.

"Really, Seth!" Sue admonished, her frustration had mounted throughout the entire morning, aided by Bella's refusal to apologise "you're acting like a brat, let Bella go and put your tie on."

"No," he retorted, busying himself by tiptoeing his index and middle finger over Bella's protruding bump. Charlie watched the boy with a leaden heart, understanding the true extent of the previous night's argument and how it had affected his son. Seth saw animosity and Seth jumped to conclusions, much like his older sisters had done countless times over the years in which they grew up. He needed reassurance and neither Bella nor Sue seemed to grasp that.

"Bud," Charlie commanded Seth's attention. Bella glanced sideways at her father and then back to the little boy who had not left her alone all morning. For reasons she couldn't fathom, Seth was being painstakingly difficult.

"Bella's still going to be here when we get back, she isn't going anywhere," Charlie spoke, "now get your stuff, the quicker you are, the quicker we get to church and the quicker we get home back to Bella." Seth remained stiff at Bella's side for a while, until she too assured him that she would be home when they returned. She assumed that Seth had picked up a little too much information from last night's fight and had decided that Bella was going to leave the family_…"Tia didn't live here, Bella, and neither did Leah."_

As Charlie tied the boy's striped tie, Sue flashed her a frustrated glance and non-verbally communicated that all was not forgiven from the previous night. As much as Bella and Sue were notorious for their exceptionally close bond, they were also notorious for their heated arguments and their ability to skirt around one another for lengthy periods of time.

Bella pulled her bathrobe around her torso as Charlie opened the front door, she sat on the bottom step of the stairs while waving to Seth who was not wholly convinced of her earlier promise. Had he heard her conversation last night? Or was he merely perturbed by the tension between his mother and his older sister? She felt guilty adding to Seth's tensions, he was already grieving as it was and she and Sue were only adding to that grief. She promised in the future that she would be as amicable as possible to Sue in Seth's presence.

When the door clicked shut, Bella sagged against the stairs and breathed out heavily. Last night's conversation with Jasper had fueled her thoughts all morning. In ways, she had tried to justify her actions in the sense that she had not accounted to be the one responsible for the child she was carrying, apart from the small role as an aunt; therefore, it was only fair that the 'donor' who had not accounted for the possibility of his progeny to be orphaned before birth, should also be saddled with the possibility of becoming a father.

Bella knew it was unethical and absurd, and she had preached it to herself all night long…but it didn't stop her from planning her journey to Seattle the next day. Charlie had towed her car back last night but it was still not drivable which meant that she'd have to contact the local mechanic, which essentially meant contacting _Jake_. According to Charlie and Sue, he had been near enough unreachable since the funerals.

She remembered their latest encounter and scoffed, if he could leave her saddled with the baby, he could at least help her to fix her car so she could potentially find the biological father to the aforementioned baby. He owed her.

Her hair hung limp around her shoulders from a quick shower and she wrapped it up into a bun before slipping Charlie's cruiser keys from the hook by the phone. She took the back route to La Push, hoping to avoid the route the Swan family took to church, it wasn't that Charlie disapproved of her borrowing the cruiser, it was the fact that she hadn't divulged her latest conquest to her parents, who would be highly unsupportive of the decision she had made to contact Jasper.

Fifteen minutes later, Bella wrapped her knuckles against Jacob's door, returning her hands against her hips as she waited for a response. The curtains flickered minutely and Bella was certain that Jacob would not open the door for anyone, even her. He had sold his home up in Seattle and relocated back to Forks to live in his Father's home- the same home that had a faulty back door. Five minutes later, when the door remained closed, Bella sauntered around the side of the house and twisted the back door knob three hundred and sixty degrees, knowing fully well that it had not been fixed ever since she had broken it twelve years ago when she'd been infuriated that Leah and Jake had locked her out for being "too young to play with".

"Jake," she called into the house, "you better get your ass out here or else," she warned, storming into the hall. She noticed the absent photographs that used to adorn the walls, which left only Billy's prized catches from years gone by, which unsettled Bella.

She found Jake in one of the spare rooms, sat in his father's armchair- the same one in which he had died. The image bore an eerie remembrance to that of Billy before his death; Jake was pale and pallid, gaunt and exhausted. Bella shivered.

"I haven't got anything else to say to you, Bella," Jake warned, "I'm not changing my mind."

"Oh don't worry, Jake," she hissed, "I understand…_don't try and make me feel guilty for walking away, its yours and some guy we picked," _she mimicked him from their previous encounter, "you're safe Jake, I'm only here to exploit your mechanical skills- you at least owe me that."

"I'm not working," Jake answered, his eyes glowered.

"So you'd rather I went to the Volturi garage? Suppose they miss a bolt and I'm sent careening into an oncoming vehicle, could you live with that?"

It was an entirely low-blow, especially for someone who was already grieving for the loss of his family because of a mechanical fault. Inside, Bella cringed with guilt and shame, but she had to get the message across somehow…and her hormones never seemed to help her situation either.

"I trust you, Jake, and no one else…this is the only thing I ask of you, I'll never ask for anything more. Please."

Jacob remained stiff, his head sagged and he rubbed his fingertips over his brow.

"_Please_, Jake," Bella begged, "_please _just do this one thing for me."

After a couple of minutes of silence, Jacob lifted himself from his chair and exited the room. Bella was about to rant again, poised with a torrent of pleads at the ready when a large "clunk" sounded from the closet. Jacob reappeared with his toolbox and he grabbed some supplies before leading the way to Charlie's cruiser. He asked no questions as she drove them back to the Swan house and immediately set to work on the Coupe De Ville while Bella enjoyed a cold glass of lemonade and a sneaky _Twinkie_.

At one point, Bella had to run Jacob to the Volturi garage to pick up a few parts as Jake had sold his garage up North, before he returned to Forks. As soon as they returned he went straight back to work. Something niggled at Bella while she was in Jacob's presence, something regarding the number he had provided her with- the same one that led her to Jasper and their reconnection.

As she fiddled with the bobbled cotton on the sleeve of her cardigan, she decided to pry even if the chances of getting a response were minimal.

"Jake?" she asked, not daring to meet his eyes.

He grunted in response, still captivated by the mechanics under the Coup De Ville.

"Why do you have the donor's number?"

"Why not?" was his unhelpful response.

"It's just that its so…unheard of. I've read so much about these kinds of things and the donor always remains anonymous as per the legal requirement- a number in a bank. I get the updates, I really do…but to provide you with his phone number?" she questioned, "do you not think that's strange, even in the slightest?"

Jacob was thoughtful for a while, obviously pained by the topic in hand- not only did it remind him of the loss of his family, but also of his own incompetence of being able to father a child.

"There was a letter left in his file about the updates he'd like to receive, the number was just in case Tia suffered from any illness requiring medical intervention such as bone marrow transplants, blood transfusions or stuff like that- just in case Leah wasn't a match. It's why Leah and I picked him…it was a reassurance that even in the face of everything that could go wrong, we had a back-up plan…"

"He was really willing to do that?"

"Yep, I think there was some history of leukemia in his family, not too sure how closely related but you'll have to get the file for that. He wanted every base covered just in case, didn't want us to start a family only for it to be ripped away-" he choked, and realized how ironic his statement was…even a phone number couldn't save his precious daughter or his wife.

"You never had reason to call him?"

"No," Jacob sighed, "no reason at all, we sent him a letter about Tia and that was about it- never heard anything back and we didn't want to- it was just an assurance for both sides."

Bella palmed her stomach in thought, her mind slipping to Jasper. At that very moment, her back-up cell she'd found from her teenage years trilled from her pocket. She left Jacob to his work and crept back inside to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Doll-face?" Jasper's voice chirped, "Why it's good to know that you're capable of conversation even when we're in sociable hours," he joked.

"Yeah, sorry about last night, I know it was late."

"Don't worry about it," he said, "I was just calling to see if you needed anything? I'm at the store now and I didn't know if you preferred brown or white bread, cereal or porridge…kinda need some clues, babe."

"Oh!" she blushed, "you don't need to get me anything, I'll do a shop when I get there, I'm already putting you at an inconvenience."

"Oh shaddap!" he sighed, "name some crap and I'll get it- you can pay me back in drinks when we hit the Seattle nightlife, Edward owes me big too."

"Edward?" she questioned, trying to ignore his comment about drinking, she was far from the perfect candidate to accompany Jasper around the town.

"My roommate," he answered, "he knows you're coming and he's perfectly fine with it, you'll like him."

"You have a roommate?" she gasped, "Jasper! You should have said so!" she whined.

"Why? So I lose out to the freakin' Adonis again? He's forever getting the babes, Doll-face, he can't have you too," he joked.

"You know what I mean," Bella harrumphed,

"Babe, the more the merrier is his motto- he has a twin sister and she's always crashing here."

"I'm not your sister."

"Nor are you my mother, now deal with it and make sure your ass turns up here tomorrow, capisce?"

"You're such a dick, as always," she muttered, much to his joy.

"See you tomorrow, Bells."

"Yeah, see you."

_Roommate_? Bella instantly felt a chill down her spine- like the sensation of a bucket of ice-cold water tipped over her head. In her surprise and haste to call 'The Donor', she had not thought rationally. Of course, it was not rational to ask to stay with the donor of your child, who was completely unaware of said child; but neither was it rational to believe that a long-forgotten friend, who she now realised bore no resemblance to the attributes and characteristics listed in the file of 062085, was the father of said child.

062085 was listed as having copper colored hair, pale skin…green eyes.

Jasper was blond, and his eyes, his eyes were the most vivid shade of blue she'd ever had the fortune of coming across. Not to mention, Jasper's mother was Italian and his skin was permanently tanned.

Jasper wasn't the baby's father.

Sleep deprivation, the frustration Sue caused…he mind hadn't even been able to come to the simple conclusion that Jasper could never have been the baby's father, a true error of judgment if there had ever been one. What if Jasper had been married? Or if he had a girlfriend? The horrors of her misjudgment and its potential repercussions assaulted her mind. She could have ruined his life.

"You fucking _idiot_," she cursed at herself.

Now Jasper expected her to turn up, after five years of silence, to reminisce and to party the nights away at Seattle's clubs.

_Edward_.

Jasper had a roommate. They shared the same phone number. Edward was the only other possibility.

"Jake," Bella called as she wrenched the front door open.

"Uh-huh?"

"This donor…how old is this number?"

"Why?" he asked curiously, "have you called it?"

"No," she lied through gritted teeth, "but how old is it?"

"Look, Bella," Jacob sighed, "I know I was an idiot, and if Leah was here the whole situation would be different for me and you," he paused, glancing at her midriff, "I was angry- I'm always going to be angry Bella…I shouldn't have left you like I did that day in the diner and I feel disgusted by my own actions…I gave you the number for the same reason we kept it- for reassurance."

"For reassurance?" her heart sank…she had completely misinterpreted the meaning of the telephone number. On some weird level, she had assumed that Jacob was essentially telling her to seek out the father for support in his place, she never considered he thought she could do it on her own with the number as a reassurance.

"Yeah," Jacob responded, "something to keep you sane in the world of parental worry."

"How old?" she asked again, still flummoxed by her own stupidity.

"We were updated with that number when Tia was three, he said he'd update us with any changes to it."

"Okay."

She drove Jacob back to La Push as soon as he'd finished, and thanked him before setting off back home to wait for Seth and her parents, still completely horrified by her instinctive behavior and the consequences it led to.

* * *

"Belly! You're still here!"

"Of course I am you Silly Billy!" she chuckled and allowed him to join her on the couch where she was laying.

"How was church?"

He shrugged and played with his tie as she stroked a hand through his chestnut hair. He clutched something tightly in his right fist and he blushed when she asked him about it.

"Corinne gave it to me," he told her, unfurling his palm to reveal a tiny figurine depicting the Virgin Mary holding a baby Jesus, "it looks like Leah and Tia," he spoke. She nodded, her eyes brimmed with tears at his innocence.

"Did you say a prayer for them?" she asked,

He nodded, "yup."

"Good boy," she smiled.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes" she lied, "lots and lots," she giggled as she tickled him- he did, in that moment make her forget her troubles, so there was a seed of truth to her lie.

"Can you help me get this tie off? I wanna put my Buzz costume on but I can't wear it with a tie!"

Bella helped him to undo the knot and smirked as he ambled upstairs to find his beloved costume.

"I don't know how you do it, but that kid is convinced you're his god," Charlie interrupted Bella's train of thought, he lifted her feet to sit on the couch and placed them gently into his lap.

"What can I say?" Bella smirked, "I don't need to believe in god- because that would mean believing in myself."

"Nothing wrong with that," Charlie mumbled.

As she watched her father pretend to remain neutral between Sue and herself, she could sense his fatherly protection seeping through his small, almost unnoticeable ministrations as he rubbed her swollen feet. The baby stirred within her womb and she slowly became aware of how powerful a father's love truly was. Although Charlie was never over the top with his love and adoration for his children, it was, however, constant and unyielding in an even, steady course like the promise of a beating heart.

If Bella had one opportunity to contact the baby's father, even if the effort was a fruitless endeavor, would she take the opportunity? If her child asked whether she had exhausted all possibilities in contacting his/ her father, could she reply, in all honest truth, that she had done everything that she possibly could to provide them with a love that she had experienced between her father and herself?

_Ethics be damned_, Bella finally resolved. If she had an opportunity in the form of Jasper's hospitality, with the potential of meeting Edward, who may or may not have filled 062085's specifications, then she should grab it by the reigns and ride it out until all possibilities were exhausted.

Her earlier doubts were suddenly suppressed.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going away for a couple of days."

"You are?" Charlie asked, his gaze still focused on the mantle full of his children's pictures.

"Mhhm, just up to Seattle to see an old friend- you remember Jasper?"

"Kid who hated my guts?" Charlie smirked, "how could I ever forget?"

"He told me to tell you that he understands what you did for him now…he appreciates it."

Charlie mumbled with an air of satisfaction.

"How long?"

"Just a couple of days," she answered, still unsure herself, "I got Jake to fix the Coup."

"Okay."

"Okay," she found herself responding.

* * *

_Bella is instinctive and sometimes she gets it completely wrong, but she does what feels best in her heart. Seth still melts my heart and remains my favorite character so far. Jake's at the point where he's trying to resolve his behavior but it doesn't always work. Sue is still mourning and acting irrational...as most of the Swans are._


	5. Sugar Gut

Refunded, Darling

_Sugar Gut_

"Seth?" Bella pried, still slouched against the wooden frame of the bathroom door as she had been since Seth woke to her packing for Seattle. From inside the bathroom she could hear snotty sobs, which were no doubt wiped away by the coveted sleeve of a certain Buzz Lightyear costume. She'd spent the better part of an hour of her Sunday morning trying to console a turbulently emotional six-year old, who was convinced that her trip to Seattle was a goodbye forever.

"Come on, Bud," she coaxed, "my butt's getting numb."

Ever since she'd returned to Forks, the little boy had attached himself to Bella and clung to her as though their every separation would be their last. After telling Seth that she would be spending a couple of days with a friend up north, she'd been subjected to his intolerable mood-swings and his desperate attempts to convince her to stay. At first he had engaged her in several games of Monopoly, then he'd sought out his plastic army men and forced her to spend the time she should have been packing to chase him around the living- room and fire imaginary bullets propelled by the clicking of her tongue.

She went to bed exhausted, woke slightly energized, only to be slowly whittled back into exhaustion by Seth's testy emotions. Sue and Charlie had been no help either, in fact, Bella remained slumped against the bathroom door as Sue vacuum-cleaned the carpet around her and ignored the young girl's pleading looks. Charlie had scuffed her hair in passing and had descended the stairs as though Seth hadn't spent the entire morning sobbing his little heart out.

"You know," Bella suddenly had a brainwave, "When Woody and Buzz were separated, Buzz Lightyear never cried and locked himself in a room with a stinky toilet," she told him, "no matter what Buzz and Woody went through, they always ended up back together in the end."

Seth's sobs dwindled to mere hiccups as she garbled on about Toy Story, trying to remember the plot-lines from the original movie; the original video tape had suffered mercilessly at the hands of Bella and Leah, and all of Seth's Toy Story films were now on DVDs.

"Be-Bella?" Seth finally hiccuped, shuffling behind the door.

"Yes, Seth?"

"If you go to S-Seattle…will you go to h-heaven?"

"No!" she emphasized softly, "Oh, Buddy!"

"Don't laugh at me!" he whined, frustration crept into his voice.

"I'm not, Bud, I promise," she replied with a heavy heart. The poor kid equated Seattle with heaven, the place Leah and Tia had been killed, and therefore a place to be avoided. All of Seth's naïvely conjured imaginations weighed heavily upon her, reminding her that she would soon be burdened by the responsibility of having to answer to her own child's wandering imagination.

_Her own child._

She had only recently tested the possessive, tried to change her mindset into following a completely different path. The _unplanned _path.

"I won't die in Seattle, Seth," she continued, "it's a nice place. You know Grandma Marie? She died in Arizona when I was six, and I still went to live there for five years- I didn't die."

"So?"

"_So_," she emphasized, "it doesn't matter where you go, people are always going to die, whether they are old, young, boy or girl…it just happens, and that's why we need to spend most of our time laughing and smiling so we don't waste a minute of our lives being unhappy."

"I'm sorry," Seth apologized, "for being a baby."

"Don't be sorry," Bella soothed, "just get your little Lightyear-butt out here and give me a cuddle."

Bella allowed Seth to help her pack the olive duffel she'd brought back from Arizona, giving him small chores to keep his mind off of her leave. He insisted that she should take "spare undies for accidents" and "a different towel for your bum and face", to which Bella had to stifle laughter in fear of offending him. They dragged the duffel downstairs together and Charlie distracted the youngster so that Bella could eat breakfast without having the kid sit in her lap and feed her himself.

"Don't forget your next sonogram with Dr. Gerandy is on the 25th, that's next week," Sue quipped as she swiped the cereal box from the table as soon as Bella had finished with it. Bella kept her mouth occupied with the chewing of her breakfast to avoid snapping back.

"Oh, and do be careful on route 99, this family could be spared another tragedy."

Bella's spoon clanged against the side of her breakfast bowl, halted by the sudden fist formed around its handle. Her appetite had slowly waned throughout Sue's nagging, and now, she couldn't stomach the idea of another bite- half due to Sue's demeanor and half because she hadn't thought of traveling on the same road where Leah's car was found upturned.

"I'm gonna go get some gas," Bella suddenly pulled away from the kitchen table and dropped the spoon into the soggy remains of Seth's sugar-free cereal. She sauntered away from the kitchen with her usual rebellious air of indifference, but with each passing day her gait was slowly marred by the added weight of the baby, which caused her to walk with an unwelcome waddle.

She by-passed Seth and Charlie who were taking advantage of the mild weather to play catch, practicing with one of the many untouched baseballs Charlie had bought to tempt either Bella or Leah into using; Leah and Bella were both tomboyish as children but not even their father's dream of turning either one into a Mariner's fan ever came true. Seth was his saving grace, even if he refused to wear the baseball uniform in favor of his Buzz Lightyear gear.

Fortunately, the Coupe De Ville was merely lacking in love and attention, with a few upgrades and extra bolts and screws, Jacob patched the car up in no time. Bella found herself driving in the opposite direction of _Eleazar's _- the town's most popular gas station- and on the route she'd broken down on a couple of days ago and pulled up outside of _Hale & Son's_. She filled her tank up while Rose watched her every move and struggled to pick up the cap she'd dropped on the floor.

"You goin' somewhere far?" Rosalie asked as soon as Bella pushed through the faulty door, "that's a lot of bucks for Forks," she added.

"Just Seattle," Bella answered as she browsed the confectionery, before she decided to grab a handful of peanut butter cups for the journey.

"My Dad met my Mom in Seattle."

"That's…nice," Bella replied distractedly, debating between a bag of chips and a bag of pretzels.

"Well, not really, "Rosalie countered, "he dragged her back here and she ran away, ended up in pieces remember?"

"How could I forget?" Bella grimaced and put the bag of pretzels back on the shelf.

"Your car sure is nice," Rose breathed dreamily. She eyed the vehicle from the window and gazed at it with a longing Bella chalked down to as a desire for freedom, Rose was pretty forthcoming with what she wanted in life- she just didn't know how to attain it.

Just as Bella decided on her final purchases, Rosalie's cell rang from behind the shelf of cigarettes and Bella saw her do something she assumed she was incapable of- she blushed. Hardcore, I-take-shit-from-no-one -Rosalie blushed.

"Are you going to answer it?" Bella motioned to the vibrating cell. Rosalie snatched the items from her hands and quickly totalled the price as the ringing finally died off. Whoever called Rosalie had certainly rattled her cage.

"It's just nobody," Rosalie mumbled under her breath, "guy with a truck, just passing."

Bella dared not to tease Rosalie for more information and quickly swiped her card to pay for the copious amount of crap she'd foraged in the confectionery section for. She didn't know what it was, but something deep inside her wanted to check-in on Rosalie, to just give her female company for a few minutes despite how well the company would be received. She could never imagine herself locked away in a gas station for the entirety of her teenage years and possibly her future, the crippling isolation would send her crazy before the monotonous routine would.

"I thought of a cool name the other day," Rose chirped, "right after you left."

"You did?"

"Yep, picture... baby _Zafrina_!"

"Zafrina?" Bella winced internally- it reminded her of an air freshener manufacturer, either that or some Egyptian goddess.

"It was harder deciding on a boy's name but I like Kebi," Rose added.

"Where did you find these names?" Bella asked as she noticed a _National Geographic _magazine lying open on the window ledge. Rosalie shrugged and claimed she'd plucked them from the very depths of her imagination- a lie Bella could sense a mile off.

"I'll think about them," Bella smiled and took her purchases in hand.

"Have a good time in Seattle!" Rosalie called as Bella strolled back to her car. Bella waved back and buckled herself back into the driver's seat, again uncomfortable as she left Rosalie staring into the vast emptiness of the gas station's surroundings- her prison.

She stayed for an hour longer in Forks and when the midday sun finally tried to shine through the dense cloud, Bella decided to get a move on. Charlie lifted her luggage into her trunk and Seth cello- taped a green army man to the bonnet of her car because "_he wanted to see Seattle_." Bella didn't have the heart to tell him that it would probably be blown off by Washington's weather.

"Kid," Charlie called, sidling up to her driver's side window. He bent down and offered her a few crisp notes which she instantly refused, threatening to drive over his foot there and then. They had a minor quarrel until Charlie used the 'broken vase' threat; a couple of weeks prior she and Seth had been a little too invested in a game of cops and robbers and Sue's antique vase had been smashed. Charlie had come to the rescue by claiming that he knocked it over with a fishing pole and he'd been using it a bait ever since.

"If you don't spend it on yourself at least get something for the baby," he negotiated, "you haven't got a lot of time left."

Bella sighed dramatically, swiped the cash from his hands and stuffed it under a useful nook by the wheel. She would only ever use her father's money as a last resort, her savings were adequate for the time being.

"Anything else you want to saddle me with before we go? More army men? A mariner's cap?"

"Get out of here before you give me grey hair," Charlie smirked and tapped the roof of the car.

"Before?" she guffawed, "You're gonna have to stop using the salt and pepper in the shower, old man."

"You have five minutes to get off of my property."

"Ay, chief!"

"Belly! Call me later!" Seth shouted, looking up from the slide he was descending in the front garden.

"I will, Bud. Be good!"

She waved to them both before she turned and looked towards the porch where Sue was half-hidden by the front door. Although neither had apologized to one another, her mere presence was a symbol of goodwill, Bella nodded to Sue and then pressed on the gas peddle, converse-clad feet ready for the journey.

She made the mistake of drinking too much _Sunny D _in the first half an hour of her journey, forcing her to make three pit stops in close succession of one another, lately, she could barely finish a glass of water before she needed to rush straight for a pee, and she started to resent permanently living in restrooms.

She'd taped a print out of the journey to the peeling dashboard and used a highlighter to mark key points she'd reached. She'd only ever hopped onto the train to visit Leah in Seattle because she couldn't afford the gas to drive and her old Chevy would have been massacred by the three hour journey. She missed the truck that Jake had tried to salvage many a time, the same truck that decided it didn't like Tyler Crowley's Volvo all that much.

By the second hour a killer back ache began to set in which made Bella squirm in her seat with no ideas on how to alleviate the pain. Her seats were frayed and beaten by many years worth of driving, which proved difficult when Bella needed something to support her back effectively. In one gas station she found a neck pillow for long journeys and quickly bought it for the purposes of shoving it behind the curvature of her lower back.

Jasper sent her a couple of texts and she updated him on her whereabouts with a few quick replies. It was only once she had boarded the ferry that the small niggling feeling in her gut, the feeling that she may have been making a mistake began to make itself known.

When she vomited in the restroom she vehemently denied that it was down to the baby's intolerance for peanut butter cups, and that she was suffering from sea-sickness instead. After she swatted away a concerned group of old women intent on imparting words of wisdom, an old man joined her on the external deck and offered her a mint from a small tin.

They talked very little but his mere presence made it look like they were in conversation which kept the baby geniuses at bay. After she had successfully expelled her stomach for the second time, the ferry was just finished docking which allowed her to retreat back to her car to finish the rest of the journey. She'd been determined to play the ignorance card and ignored the fact that she would be meeting a possible match for profile 062085, a match who would be completely unaware of what she and her pregnant state represented.

She tuned in to a local Seattle radio station and used the folk music to lull her thoughts. She'd had ample enough time to tell Jasper about her current condition too, but the coward in her always seemed to win her over. Since she'd set foot on Seattle soil she had been wary of the proximity between herself and the place that Leah and her niece had been found. As each street passed, her mood grew more and more sombre in the memory of the last place they had ever been alive.

She cried when she passed the street.

Whether it was the uncontrollable surge of grief or her hormones, she never could tell, but the salted trails that ran the lengths of her cheeks bore a symbol to the world that she was not okay. She was not fine like she had told Jasper. She pulled the rosary beads hanging from the rear-view mirror -a present from Leah- and kissed them lightly before she placed them back where they belonged. Neither were religious, but they had an obsession with religious paraphernalia, each going to extreme lengths to outdo one another on birthdays, Christmases and any other holidays, hence why Bella had a rosary hanging from her mirror, a dashboard sucker in the figure of Jesus and an 'I love boys who love Jesus' bumper sticker. The bond she shared with her sister was why she was determined to make Seth's childhood all the more interesting with her kidult antics.

Just over three and a half hours after she left Forks, Bella parked her Coup next to a Volvo 340 which looked to be in even worse condition than her own pile of scrap metal. Afraid to leave her duffel in the car, she dragged it from the backseat and slammed the car door, bumping it with her hip until the 'click' sounded. Jasper hadn't told her that the elevator stank like a urinal but she supposed it was the same with most cheap city accommodation and held her breath for the trip two floors up.

She dropped the duffel to knock on the door, huffing from having had to lumber it from one end of the building to the other. There was a short, scuffling commotion from behind the door before it was almost ripped from its hinges.

"ROAR!"

Bella instantly shrieked and felt her back press up against the far wall in a hasty recoil, slapping her hands to her face in a knee-jerk reaction to being scared.

"Oh man that was priceless!" someone chuckled, obviously pleased with themselves.

She squinted through the gaps in her fingers and observed a fairly tall guy, sporting a cape, a pair of plastic fangs and white face-paint, obviously dressed to scare unsuspecting pregnant girls shitless.

"You douche bag!" she suddenly cursed, "I could have gone into early labor!" She pushed herself away from the wall, hands on hips, motioning to her midriff with her index finger.

"Shit," the guy mumbled, obviously perturbed by her revelation, "are you alright?"

She shrugged before a smile plastered across her face, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you," she smirked.

He placed a hand over his heart and threw back his head dramatically.

"Beaten at my own game! I've got to give it to you kid…is that a prosthetic or something?"

"Nope," she replied and rubbed her midriff, "this is the real deal- elbows, feet and fists in abundance, all happily swimming in my uterus."

"I hope not separately?"

"No," she shook her head, "I know how to make a baby: really cute, with functional limbs and tendencies for familial abuse," she winced as a hand or foot jabbed at her rib.

"The best kind!" he chuckled and stuck out his hand, "I'm Edward, I take it you're Bella?"

"The one and only," she replied and accepted his hand. As soon as the word "Edward" had been expelled from his lips, Bella's attention had focused solely on the guy dressed as a vampire, and she scrutinized his every pore. If legend were to be believed, she could have very well been in the presence of her child's biological father. As he led her into the apartment, she picked out the characteristics from 062085's profile and directly compared them to the jester before her very eyes.

He was tall, definitely a foot taller than herself, not much skin on display , his face was painted, and his hair…jet black, not to mention the fact that his eyes were a vibrant gold. All in all, her hopes of finding 062085 seemed to have been dashed as soon as she'd arrived on the threshold of Jasper's apartment.

"Where's Jasper?" she asked, noticeably less enthusiastic now that her plans to find the donor had come to a grinding halt.

"He forgot bathroom supplies," Edward laughed, "we're not really well equipped here in 'The Den'," he motioned towards the entirety of the apartment, which was, for lack of a better term, adorned with treasures only a bachelor would hold dear. There was a beer stockpile in the corner of the room, joined by a mini-fridge, a coffee table chipped and dented, surrounded by two worn couches and an armchair. The TV was almost as old as the Swan family set which made her smile, and luckily there was no carpet, but varnished wooden floor boarding which would save her from ever having to explain the scarlet stain on the carpet.

"It's sparsely furnished and yet still full of crap," Edward shrugged, his bottom lip protruding, "and we _might _have forgotten the latest rent check…but it's home and it serves us well," he explained " plus," Edward smirked, "you'll find we like to live on the edge a little: never open the door on Tuesday mornings unless you want to meet the landlord," he looked thoughtful for a moment "although he _has _taken to the idea of the element of surprise recently- scratch that - if in doubt, peephole the bastard, erm, avoid phone at all costs because you can bet your ass it's Jasper's ex who's on the other line- a complete Girl, Interrupted if there ever was one…oh, and if you want to live- eat only from Joe's pizzeria or ask me to cook something."

"To be perfectly honest, I don't think I'll be staying that long," Bella replied, still slightly put-out by her lack of reason to be at Jasper's apartment now that she'd eliminated all of the possible candidates still in possession of the number she'd been given by Jake.

"To be perfectly honest," Edward mirrored her words, "Heidi rings on the hour, every hour- Jasper and I made a mix-tape of her best voice-mails, my favorite has got to be '_Baby, why's it so cold outside?… It's because you won't open the door._"

Edward pulled a bag of grapes from the fridge and grabbed a handful before he offered them to Bella.

"Thanks," she said, grabbing the bag from his outstretched fist, "the baby hated the peanut butter cups I had."

"No way!" Edward cried, "what kind of a kid are you cooking in there?"

"It can't be as bad as whoever cooked you," she joked, "I mean, it's barely four o'clock and you're kitted out in a child's Halloween costume- in July."

"Fair point," he suggested, "It's my nephew's birthday and I'm off to scare the shit out of some snotty, sugar-faced five -year olds."

"How kind."

Edward watched the girl with mild interest; he offered her a glass of water but she surprised him by pulling out a large two liter bottle of Sunny D he wasn't even aware were manufactured. She was healthy-looking, but strangely thin for a pregnant girl, her sunken skin around her clavicles made him want to force-feed her a diet of cheese and chocolate. She was, however, quirky and accommodating of his sense of humor and on first impression, looked as though she'd fit in well with the apartment dynamics. He'd recoiled in horror when he thought he'd sent her into early labor, but in his defense, Jasper hadn't told him that she was knocked up.

"So what brings you to Seattle?" Edward pried. Jasper had told him about their midnight call, something about one of his childhood friends being in trouble, Edward assumed it was something to do with being strapped for cash or wanting to move from some Podunk town a little south of Seattle, but it was clearly evident that whatever she came for was more than just a need to get away from small town life as evidenced by the basket-ball down her shirt.

"The Seattle public library," she finally replied, picking at the grapes on her stalk.

"You like books?"

"Yeah, but spare me the harlequin romances."

He glanced at her again and tried to gauge her 'Girl, Interrupted' factor on a scale from one to ten, Heidi had definitely been a strong nine, but compared to Heidi, Bella was presenting at a median five, subject to change.

Half-way through Edward's musing, Jasper barreled through the apartment door laden with toilet paper, shampoo and bleach; as guys, with little money, they had been using the bar of soap in the bathroom for both their hair and bodies, figuring it wouldn't hurt to save a few dollars. Now that Bella had arrived, they could hardly expect her to spend three hours lathering her hair.

"Doll-face!" Jasper cried.

"Hi, Jazz," Bella smiled, pushing her quickly picked grape stalk away with an embarrassed flush. He dropped his purchases and quickly walked around the kitchen counter to embrace the girl he'd not seen since they were both fresh-faced high-school graduates.

"Woah!" Jasper was instantly sidetracked by the prominent bump that jutted out from Bella's hips. He immediately met her apologetic grimace and shook his head with a laugh.

"You said you weren't in trouble!"

"Oh, this?" Bella motioned to her stomach, "this isn't trouble…not really."

Bella caught Edward sidling out of the room as Jasper seated himself on an identical stool. There was an awkward silence for a few moments until Jasper exhaled with a whistle.

"Does the chief know about this?"

"Yeah."

"This" he motioned to the flat, "or this" he said, pointing to her stomach.

"_Both_, look, don't worry Jasper, I'm not here because of the baby."

"Well, why are you here then?"

"You know Forks," Bella observed him, "do I really have to explain myself?"

"Point taken."

In Bella's eyes Jasper hadn't changed all that much from high-school, he was - if possible- even taller than before and his hair had grown out since he shaved it all off in a graduation dare, but overall, he was still the same disheveled kidult she'd said 'goodbye' to all those years ago. When the phone interrupted the idle chatter they'd begun, Jasper leaped from his seat and hollered down the hallway.

"Ed, did you put a new tape in the machine?"

"I got it Jazz, let it roll!"

Bella was confused as to what was happening but allowed herself to be consumed by the absurdity of the situation. Both Edward and Jasper crowded around the voice-mail like it was a holy grail, not actually bothering to pick the phone up and then Bella's mind suddenly clicked. _Heidi._

"_Jasper, baby, please call me back…I was eating dinner last night, and all I could think about was how the spaghetti reminded me of your thick, blond locks. You're everywhere Jazz, in my mind, in my heart…don't make me suffer. Call me."_

"Dude," Edward chuckled, "she's quickly working her way up to a ten."

"Seriously," Jasper guffawed, finger-combing his hair, "do I look like a plate of bolognaise to you?"

"Where did you find that whack-job?" Bella asked.

"Don't ask him that," Edward warned her, barely containing his laughter.

Bella's confused glance broke Jasper there and then.

"I met her in A&E, okay?" he huffed, "she'd hit her head on a night out and I'd been hit riding my bike back from work. She was hot."

"You have a motorbike?"

"Don't wound him anymore, Bella, I don't think his poor heart can take it."

"Wha-"

"Push-bike," Edward confirmed, sending her into another round of laughter.

"Why do I let you live with me again?" Jasper faced Edward.

"Because you'd die an anorexic with skinny little chicken arms if I wasn't here to cook."

"I'd have take-out," Jasper quipped.

"Fine, you'd die a morbidly obese, homeless dude with a severe cholesterol problem."

"Christ," Jasper cursed, "what're you doing out here then? Get in that kitchen and make me a sandwich!"

Bella allowed herself to be lulled by their friendly banter, until there was another commotion at the door. The door handle jiggled but the door refused to open despite the fact that it was unlocked.

"Edward forgot to buy the screws!"

"Jasper spent the last of our bucks on beer and take out!"

Bella jumped, startled by a fierce kick to the corner of the apartment door.

"You'd think you'd have got that sorted by now, boys," a woman's voice chuckled as the door wedged itself open. Bella was amused to see Pocahontas on the other side of the door, toting a wrapped gift and a bag full of streamers.

"Bella," Edward called, motioning to their new visitor, "this is my girlfriend Angela."

"_Girlfriend_?" Angela mocked, "more like personal slave, don't you think?" she teased and dropped her bags onto the countertop. Angela greeted Bella with a warm smile and perched herself in Jasper's discarded seat.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella, it was getting a little bit overwhelming with all of this testosterone around."

"That's all me, babe," Edward interrupted, "Jasper lost his balls to a concussed chick."

"Are you off to the party too?" Bella asked her as she tried to find something to say, other than '_you are insanely pretty'_. Angela nodded and readjusted the feathered headpiece that tilted over her forehead.

"Edward and his brother roped me into it," she smirked, "us women will do anything when faced with a chocolate-mouthed plead from a five year old."

"You don't say," Bella smiled, her thoughts drifting to those of a certain Buzz-Lightyear clad boy.

"Are you in town for long?" Angela asked, "it'd be fun to get to know someone who didn't come straight from the lunatic asylum."

"Just a couple of days," Bella tried to make it clear to anyone who asked, "home's just a bit too suffocating at the moment."

"If you want," Angela began, "I work at one of the local museums in Fremont, if these two goons won't show you the city, I'll be glad to offer my services. I've worked in a few attractions in Seattle, and as your guide, you wouldn't even have to pay me."

"Sure," Bella agreed enthusiastically. If there was one thing that Seattle could offer it was definitely a diverse cultural side compared to the limited options in Forks. Bella absently rubbed her right hand over the spot where the baby tried to manoeuvre an arm, which caught Angela's attention.

"When are you due?" she asked conversationally and reached for the present she'd laid on the counter.

"September."

"Do you know what it is?"

Bella shook her head, "no, I think I'm keeping it a surprise."

"Your first?"

"It better bloody be," Jasper chuckled, "if you have six kids at home, B, that you didn't tell me about and if some crazy-ass husband is gonna turn up on my doorstep, I kinda want a little warning."

"Definitely my first," Bella confirmed, "and no husband", she answered for Jasper. Jasper theatrically wiped his brow in mock relief and plopped onto the couch while Edward sidled over to Angela.

"Dude, did you pick up the Woody outfit Angela hired for you?" Edward called from the sink as he stuck his head underneath the faucet and drank.

"Edward!" Angela admonished, "I bought you guys those glasses for a reason!"

"Sorry, babe," Edward smiled crookedly, "force of habit."

"About the costume…"Jasper interrupted, swiping a hand through his hair.

"Go on," Angela deadpanned, seemingly aware of what Jasper was about to admit.

"They wanted $40 for it!"

"And?"

"_And_," Jasper emphasized, "I spent that on toiletries and food."

Bella watched curiously as Angela rose from her seat and reached a hand towards the shopping bags Jasper had left on the counter top.

"Really, Jasper? Liquorice sticks?"

"Essential."

"Twinkies?"

"Staple diet."

"Oreos?"

"Energy boosters."

"Canned cheese?" she asked exasperated.

"Don't look at me for that one," Jasper warned, "your boyfriend is the cheese freak."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Angela turned towards her, "we'll go real food shopping later so that you won't collapse in a glucose induced coma. Seriously, guys, Banner isn't going to let you two live here for much longer if you keep on spending your money on shit."

"Don't worry," Edward soothed, placing his hands on Angela's shoulders, gently massaging them, "I picked up some more hours at the bar so we'll have a bit more coming in."

Angela sighed and leaned back into Edward's chest as he mumbled sweet nothings into her ear. Bella watched the pair who seemed to compliment one another, one seemingly juvenile and the other mature while both completely in love with one another.

"I'll stay here with Bells," Jasper offered and wandered up beside Bella who had been entranced by the behaviour of people she had barely been acquainted with.

"You don't have to do that, Jasper," Bella warned.

"I know," Jasper smiled, "but I could do a night sans five-year old kids pork-bellied by artificial sweeteners and colourings."

"Riley hates you anyway," Edward piped up.

"He does not!"

"Oh yeah? So it wasn't you who jumped, pissed out of your head, from the roof of Emmett's house and tore a hole into his trampoline?"

"You pushed me you asshole!"

"_You pushed me you asshole,"_ Edward mimicked.

"And this, Bella," Angela sighed as she grabbed Edward by the elbow and lead him towards the door, "is why I'm glad you're here."

Bella smiled in response and returned Angela's hurried wave.

"It's a pleasure," she replied.


	6. Podunk Tears

Refunded, Darling

_Podunk Tears_

Whether it was the soft strumming of a guitar or the squalling of a baby from the apartment above that teased her from an unexpected sleep, Bella would never know. The walls in Jasper's apartment seemed paper-thin and if she concentrated enough, even the sound of a TV set playing an episode of '_The Fresh Prince of Bel Air_' could be heard. Her knees cracked as she stretched on the couch and she grimaced at the revelation that she'd been sleeping on a flattened oyster pail that hadn't been cleaned away after the boys' last take-out. Jasper had disappeared, presumably bored after she fell asleep halfway through some daytime crap on the high-end channels; Edward and Angela were still at Riley's birthday party.

She filched a packet of Jasper's Oreos from the kitchen counter and ambled down the hall in pursuit of the acoustic notes emanating from the far bedroom. Jasper was swathed by the dim glow of lamplight as he lay reclined on his bed, plucking a melody to a song that she was vaguely familiar with; it was a warm, soothing balm that helped to ease the bitterness of her week. Her feet gently padded into the room as Jasper welcomed her with a lazy smile, nodding for her to take a seat on the single bed as he slowed the tempo of the song.

They were silent for a long while as they reveled in the hazy light, drunk on melodic peace; the baby's screams and the TV set were long forgotten as Jasper's humming harmonized with his strumming.

"I didn't know you played," Bella turned to him as he positioned his fingertips on the chords to a new song; he'd never shown an aptitude for music in high-school, but then again, he'd never shown an aptitude for much in education.

"I didn't know you were a homemaker," he teased, eying the rounded protrusion of her abdomen. She rolled her eyes at him and unwrapped the Oreos from their packet, bristling when Jasper stole the biscuit as she lifted it towards her mouth.

"Hey!" she cried, "I'm incubating here."

"Oh you'll be fine," he chuckled, "I was delivered after nine months of Taaka and Kraft mac and cheese and I turned out just fine."

"Says the kid who ate paste in third grade."

"Says the kid who can't punch," he looked up at her with a teasing smile.

"For the last time, I didn't tuck my thumb in!" Bella argued her side to their age-old discrepancy, he _never_ let it go.

"The brace you had for six weeks begs to differ, Doll."

Bella shook her head and fell into a bout of giggles as Jasper imitated 'The Claw' and mocked her previous inability to use her right hand after she'd punched Tyler Crowley in fourth grade.

"You know," Jasper said as he returned to playing his guitar, "music is supposed to be good for fetal development."

"The quacks say a lot of useless stuff," Bella shrugged it off.

"You wound me so," Jasper gasped, hand on heart "I was _born_ to the sound of the Violent Femmes."

"I still don't get why they'd allow a nine-months pregnant woman into the standing arena," Bella looked pensive as she pulled two Oreo biscuits apart.

"My Dad was supposedly six-foot five so I guess he'd have gotten her in there even if she was refused."

"And you weren't _actually_ born at the concert."

"My mother tried," Jasper chuckled, "even after her waters broke she carried on until I crowned."

"Eugh, TMI," Bella shuddered, "your Mom was seriously fucked up -"

"Everyone already knows that, Doll," he sighed resignedly, "you don't have to bring it up."

Bella swallowed thickly and apologized as Jasper shrugged it off, Maria had always been a sore subject for Jasper and Bella brought with her a lot of memories of his childhood that he had to grapple with. Maria wanted more from life than to have to follow the path of responsibility - a baby was cute for five minutes and then a burden for the next eighteen years- Jasper never had a chance when it came down to her happiness.

"Are you still with Ben?" Jasper changed the topic to relieve the tension in the atmosphere, unwittingly adding to it.

"No, we broke up after freshman year of college," she replied; Ben Cheney had been an awesome boyfriend, a lovely guy, but the distance from Arizona State and UDub hadn't stood the test of time and they had split amicably.

"So he's not the father?"

"Nope," she sighed, rearranging her shirt so that it was less crumpled around her midriff.

"Is he around?"

"Last I heard he was interning for Seattle Children's hospital."

"Oh, good for him," Jasper said, "but you know that wasn't what I was asking."

"Fine," she huffed with annoyance, "no, he's not around and I'm pretty sure he never will be," she slumped against the wall she was leaning on and turned away from Jasper who was eying her with considerable pity; as much as he had a knack for calming her down, he had an equally uncanny ability to make her bring to the surface everything that was plaguing her. It was a steady tide of push and pull, swim and submerge.

"I was only asking," he soothed, "I'm just making sure you're gonna be alright, you always made such a big fuss about getting out of Forks."

"I did get out," she voiced, only to choke on her words; the bitter sting of tears registered and she tried to keep them at bay, but the day had been long and the journey arduous. She was half-way to making something of herself before the crash and even though she hadn't necessarily liked her post-graduate job in Arizona, she had built a foundation of experience and contacts only to have it ripped out from underneath her with the untimely death of her sister and niece. After spending thousands on an education, bleeding both Sue and Charlie dry with her desire to break free from the family mold, she was right back in the podunk town that she had loathed so much as an adolescent.

She gasped shuddering breaths into Jasper's shoulder as he anchored her in his arms; he was a fresh face, a comfort and a buoy in the turbulence that was her life. He laid them both down and allowed her to regain composure at her own pace, smoothing a reassuring hand up and down her back until her breaths evened out.

"You okay?" he peered down at her body curled under his arm.

"Not really," she admitted, "but you help," she forced a weak smile.

"Good," he smiled back, "look, shit happens, Bells," he sighed, propping them up a little higher, "some days you just won't have the rent, others you'll realize that what you got really wasn't what you needed. There will be fights and tears, you'll win some but then you'll lose some; there will be times when you're counting every dollar and every cent, days when you'll drown a little and let it beat you. The thing is, you have to give it back like a little bitch; kick your feet, blow-up – _rage_; cry and shout, give yourself a slap in the mirror, don't forget that it's _okay_ to be pissed at the fact that it was you who got thrown to the sharks again. You got out there once...you'll do it again."

"But-"

"There aren't any 'buts' to this Bella," he pulled away slightly so he could loom over her, "it's so much better to get angry and lose yourself over something; to feel rather than to bury it all inside and let it fester along with self-pity. Someone dealt you a bad hand this year, and it's shit, I've done shit, I've had a mountain of it already, but the only person stopping you is you. Be the kid that punched Tyler Crowley and give it right back."

She looked up at him as he stared down at her; his words were gospel to her, a fresh kick in the gut, a wrench in the opposite direction.

It was all so quick.

The feeling of lips on hers was -even if she hesitated to admit it -comforting; eighteen years prior this had been a harmless exchange on the playground and a misplaced act of friendship. However, as much as Bella wanted that comfort back, the complication of Jasper's sudden affection and kindness was not something she had ever wanted to entertain beyond the platonic sense.

"Please," she turned her head away and replaced her lips on his with her fingertips, "don't do this."

"I'm sorry," Jasper had the grace to look unoffended, it wasn't as though she had led him on. He brushed her bangs away from her eyes and placed one last kiss on her forehead before sitting up and creating a little space between them.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"For what?"

"For not getting upset with me."

"It's okay," he shrugged, "sometimes I feel like I have the answers and then I do something to fuck it up," he admitted.

"You haven't fucked anything up," she promised, "trust me, if we'd met under different circumstances, maybe I'd feel differently. You're a great guy, it's just me and this," she motioned towards her abdomen, "everything's just off kilter and I'm doing and letting things happen that I never would have five years ago."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," he replied, "it's alright, I'm not suddenly going to turn on you just because I'm not getting into your pants."

"Jasper!" she looked at him affronted.

"C'mon," he chuckled, "you're not even a little bit horny? I thought pregnancy sex was the bomb?"

"Don't even mention it," she groaned, turning away from him with a heated blush, "I feel like a freaking hormonal banquet."

"Aw, Bizzy Bee's all sexually frustrated and repressed – I'm surprised you weren't the one who jumped me if this is how you feel – am I _that_ repulsive?"

"Shut up," she retorted, "you know you're good-looking so don't try and fish with me."

"But not good enough to bone?"

Bella narrowed her eyes in warning and he quickly held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm sorry, but you're so easy," he grinned, "wait...you're not _that_ easy."

"Jasper!"

"Okay, okay – I'll give, you hungry yet?"

"Starving," she rolled back over, "what've you got besides Oreos and canned cheese?"

Jasper looked pensive for a while before turning back to her; from the look on his face he made it abundantly clear that whatever they had would never be substantial for her in her 'eating for two' state. While the Oreos had filled a void, they weren't a three- course meal and after throwing up several times on the ferry she was craving a hearty meal.

Just as Jasper suggested they order a take-away, a loud bang echoed from the kitchen and Edward and Angela's voices filtered into the apartment. Jasper reluctantly dropped the phone handset onto the bed and helped Bella onto her feet so they could meet the duo in the kitchen.

"- let me at least look at it," Angela seemed to plead as Bella rounded the corner of the hall.

"I'm fine, Babe," Edward brushed her hands away from his face as he pulled open the refrigerator and took a long swig from the orange carton.

"Glass, Edward!" Angela huffed, "I'm pretty sure Bella won't appreciate your backwash."

"Sorry, Bella," Edward turned to her with an apology, "force of habit."

"Man, what happened to your face?" Jasper balked at the gash above Edward's left brow; there was considerable bruising and encrusted blood that made it a nasty wound.

"What do you think happened?" Angela rolled her eyes, "apparently one pinnate isn't enough, if the kids get one so do Edward and Emmett – can you see where I'm going with this?"

"Ouch," Jasper grimaced, "please tell me you didn't use the Mariner's bat he won?"

"The one and only," Angela replied, "and he won't go to the emergency room so I don't even know if he has a concussion."

"I told you, I feel fine," Edward assured her, "it's barely even a scratch."

"Fine, I give in!" Angela threw her hands up in defeat, "you guys are going to be the death of me," she sighed. Edward was quick to wrap an arm around her shoulders and he gently pulled her into his chest so he could drop a kiss to her head.

"Go and get a shower, I'm going to go and take Bella grocery shopping," Angela pulled away after a few moments, "give me your keys."

Edward fumbled in his pocket and dropped a single key into his girlfriend's outstretched hand. Angela moved over to the kitchen sink and used a few squares of kitchen towel to wipe away her face paint before removing her headdress and the native indian slip she'd worn over her tights, skirt and camisole.

"I think we're ready, Jasper stay here and make sure he doesn't pass out in the shower," she pleaded as the sound of running water echoed from the end of the hall.

"I'll try," Jasper nodded, "but there's no way I'm hauling his ass out naked if he does."

"Then you better pray Emmett's hit wasn't his best," Angela retorted before slipping her purse over her shoulder and making her way to the apartment door.

"Are you ready, Bella?"

"Sure," Bella responded, a little dazed with all of the sudden action "let me just get my purse."

Angela led her to the burgundy Volvo 340 she'd parked next to and helped her to open the passenger door which she explained liked to stick. The car was just as deadbeat as her Coup De Ville- if not a little worse because of its shoddy paint job- but Edward had taken care of it despite its age and propensity to drop to pieces.

"Finally," Angela sighed in relief, "you don't know how much I've been looking forward to a little girl time," she explained, changing gear as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"I know what you mean," Bella agreed, Jasper's kiss had thrown her for a loop and the need to tell someone, anyone about it was growing by the minute. Yet, as much as she wanted to admit it to Angela, the girl was still an unknown to her and she wasn't too sure if she was all an act or simply a genuine person; time would only tell.

"As much as I love the boys, they have this amazing ability to make you test your love for them over and over again."

"I think it's a male thing," Bella nodded, "I have a younger brother and as awesome as he is on a good day, he can be an absolute nightmare when he's cranky."

"Yet we take the flack for being the most testy, emotional beings on this earth," Angela rolled her eyes, "let's just hope you're having a girl."

"I have a feeling it's a boy," Bella told her, "he does these cutthroat kicks to my ribs that are a killer when you're trying to get to sleep."

"Yeah, sounds like a guy thing to do," Angela giggled, "just promise me that you'll teach him how to fend for himself by the age of twenty-five?"

"I'll give it my best shot."

"Great," she replied as she pulled into the Safeway parking lot.

Bella discovered Angela was a blast to be around. The girl was in her element shopping for the boys and Bella realized that she must have shopped for them on a number of occasions judging by the amount of information she recited to herself; Jasper hated white bread, Edward refused to eat brown, both hated skimmed milk even if it was on sale.

"Woops, avoid that aisle," Angela turned the shopping cart quickly and retreated from the cereal section with a grimace.

"Something wrong?" Bella frowned.

"Just someone I'd rather avoid," she explained as Bella threw a glance over her shoulder.

"Oh man," Bella mirrored Angela's grimace, "you could have told me her ass cheeks were hanging out."

"We can still go and get cereal if you want?" Angela teased, "Lauren has a sparkling personality that you would just envy."

"Somehow I think I'd be doing myself a favor by steering clear."

"Good choice."

They perused the aisles for a little while longer until Angela was satisfied that what they had put in the cart was plenty enough for the week ahead. Bella helped to unload the food onto the check-out and slipped Angela her share of the cost, which she had to argue until Angela was sick of her persisting. The check-out operator made a fuss of her pregnancy, just as every other operator in Arizona had, and she answered her with polite, clipped 'yes' or 'no's while Angela swiped her card.

"I guess that gets annoying after a while," Angela noted as Bella scurried from the check-out as soon as the transaction was through.

"Just a little," Bella nodded, "if it isn't advice it's condemnation and if it isn't either of those it's a surly bitch trying to get me out of the way for the rest of the customers."

"Hey! Angel-pie!"

"Oh god," Angela pushed the cart faster.

"Hey! Wait up!" the nasally voice squealed.

"Crap, crap, crap!"

"I thought I was never going to catch up," Lauren sidled right up to Angela's left and tottered alongside the cart as they moved towards Edward's Volvo, "my Mother wanted a word with you but you haven't been to church for the past few weeks-"

"I've been busy, Lauren," Angela exhaled deeply, Bella assumed she was calming herself to get through her conversation with the precariously dressed, twenty-something blonde.

"Well, my Mother has some ideas for the harvest fair and she wants to take over prep this summer," she batted her eyelashes as though the admission required some buttering on her part.

"Your Mother was responsible for the Christmas fire last year, Lauren – she's barred from further event leading for the safety of the congregation."

"She didn't know the lanterns had to be safety approved!"

"Look, as prep leader I've had the ideas planned out for months; your Mother's a little too late to help."

"She'll have to talk to your father about this then," Lauren sighed dramatically, "she tried to do it the nice way," she warned.

"I'm sure my Father would love to hear your appeal," Angela rolled her eyes, "I'll see you later."

"Fine, bye," Lauren turned and tottered off in the opposite direction.

"So, that was Lauren," Angela turned to Bella with a frown.

"You were so right," Bella agreed.

"About what?"

"I think I've been blinded."

Angela burst out laughing and bent at the waist as she gasped for breath.

"What? She sparkles better than my apartment sink after a bleaching!"

"Stop!" Angela cried, leaning against the Volvo to steady her breathing.

The pair continued to giggle until the shopping had been loaded in the trunk of the car.

"It's such a shame that you live in Forks," Angela said as she sat back against the driver's seat, "I don't get on with many people my age," she admitted.

Bella furrowed her brows as Angela's words settled a confusion over her, Jasper and Edward seemed to love Angela unconditionally and Bella had warmed to her immediately.

"I'm the pastor's daughter," Angela answered her confusion, "not many kids want to hang with 'Angel Child'...girl's tend to think I'll rat out their drinking and sleeping around to their Mothers," she sighed, "for some reason it doesn't matter if you're twenty-four, 'Angel Child' will stay with me for as long as I live in this city."

"I still get the worst deal," Bella boasted, "try being the police chief's daughter; no one wants to buddy up to the kid who's Dad broke up the underage partying."

"Damn," Angela winced, "and Jasper stayed friends with you? I'm pretty sure that guy has broken every petty rule in the book."

"Yeah," Bella fiddled with her nails as she distracted herself from the errant memories of their earlier kiss, her gut sank under the heavy combination of both embarrassment and anxiety over the situation; Bella had never intentionally presented herself in a way that asked Jasper to cross the line of their friendship and she was worried that her presence would unhinge the boundaries they had set back in high-school.

"Alright," Angela's voice interrupted her musings, "spill," she ordered and dropped the key from where she was about to start the ignition.

"It's nothing-"

"Bull," Angela called her out, "I'm no therapist, but driving three hours from home to live with two imbeciles screams 'I'm not okay', honey."

Bella avoided her imploring stare and returned her focus on the windshield, watching the customers return to their cars one by one. She hadn't intended to drown her sorrows in Seattle, nor did she expect that she wouldn't find what she was initially looking for and complicate her story further in the progress of discovering that. Her fingertips danced over the taut material of her sweater as the baby teased her with a few jarring kicks, momentarily distracting her from the fact that Angela awaited her confession.

"Sweetie, I can't help you unless you're straight with me."

"I-" Bella began only for her throat to catch again, "this-", every word hurt like a hot poker had been rammed down her throat; she was just so exhausted.

"Just take a few moments," Angela soothed and reached a hand out to rub her arm.

The glower from the streetlights blurred in Bella's vision as the frustration manifested itself through traitorous tears. It was being in Seattle, the smothering of Sue, Jasper and his kiss, the fruitless searching and her bone-weary exhaustion. If she wasn't worrying about money she was fretting over the impending birth of what should have been her niece or nephew; Sue's words played on her mind constantly and the weight of doubt in both her mother and father's eyes toyed with her already fragile emotions. Then the loss...it was indescribable. Angela brought to the surface the ethereal love she had for that sisterly bond she had shared with Leah, the only person who knew her as well as herself.

"Sweetie..." …S_weetie_. She could almost hear the same endearment in Leah's husky tone, so real...

"I don't know what I'm doing," she finally admitted as she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, the coarse wool irritated the delicate skin underneath her eyes and reddened the already purpled skin of exhaustion.

"What are you doing in Seattle?" Angela asked gently.

"I've done something really stupid," Bella shook her head as the tears stung the irritated skin her sweater had created, "I can't believe I even thought it was a good idea..."

"We all do silly things once in a while, Bella."

"I don't know...I might have even broken a law or two, I don't even know what's right anymore."

"You seem like a good person to me," Angela offered.

"I just got so _angry_ with the whole situation. I mean, why should I have to bear the entire responsibility? I didn't account for any of this - why shouldn't I have the right to burden him with it too?"

"I don't understand-"

"And there I go and call it a burden...it's a baby, a freaking baby who never asked for any of this crap," Bella gesticulated with her hands, "I'm a surrogate," she turned to Angela who looked taken aback for a moment, "and the deal got refunded when my sister died...I thought I was doing a good thing, I never _thought_ any of this would happen..."

"Oh, Bella-"

"And then, just as I'm drowning, someone throws me a lifeline; it was this scrappy little piece of paper with a number that started with a Seattle dialing code..." she hiccuped, her breathing hitched as it had been in Jasper's arms only hours previously.

"It was the donor's number," she explained, "a year and a half old but the strongest link I had to the baby's father-"

"And you rang it?"

"Yeah," she nodded, catching a glimpse of her reddened nose in the car's right side-mirror, "Jasper picked up."

"Oh my god."

Bella shook her head.

"He's not the father," Bella reassured her, "it was just some weird and twisted fate that ended up dragging me across the state. My Mom and Dad are stuck in this cyclic behaviour; late nights, avoiding, worrying...everyone seemed to forget that I was pregnant until I moved back and even then it just became another situation to avoid. I don't think anyone knows how to treat it...the only person who really wanted the baby is dead and I'm the one who has to decide whether I'm ready to raise it or give it up for adoption."

"Bloody hell," Angela sank against her chair, "wait," she slammed herself back into an upright position, "what about Edward?" she turned to Bella anxiously.

"It's not him either – he didn't fit the specifications."

"Could it have been an older tenant?"

"Possibly," Bella nodded, "or even a recycled number that happened to lead me to an old friend."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Angela reached her hand out and grabbed hers, "right now my Dad would give you this big sermon on divine intervention...but I think it's safe to say that God really isn't working in anybody's favor right now. Do you realize how brave you are for doing this?"

"It's not brave," Bella disagreed, "far from it...what if it had been Edward? What right would I have to turn his world upside down and yours just because of something he did to help other people? What right do I have to make someone a father to a child they didn't even have consent in making? No- it was a stupid idea," she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What if it had been a couple who found out they couldn't conceive? Or someone who had never known family? There are too many variables in this world to consider before you condemn yourself, in certain situations your search might just have saved whoever you were looking for," Angela said, dealing Bella another set of cards that she hadn't considered in her self-loathing.

"I accept that," Bella bit her lip, "but it still doesn't make it ethical in the slightest...I could have hurt a lot of people, embarrassed someone..."

"But you didn't, did you? You connected with an old friend, found some new ones along the way," she stopped to wink, "and who says not finding the father hasn't helped you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hasn't this given you any sort of confidence? Closure? You gave your only lead a shot and it led to a dead-end – there's nothing more that you can do than to look at yourself and to make the right decisions for both you and the baby."

"I suppose," Bella shrugged.

"Can I make an observation?"

"Go ahead, I've heard the full circle."

"No matter what the ethics state, the fact that you even considered reuniting your child with its biological father shows more selflessness and kindness than you give yourself credit for. Ultimately, parenting comes down to the sacrifices you make for your children, to the selflessness and unconditional love...I think coming to Seattle proved you're more than worthy of this baby, and deep down, you know you are too."

"And what do I tell the baby eighteen years from now when it wants to know who its father is? Or why I don't know?"

"That's just something you'll have to figure out in your own time," Angela answered honestly.

Bella lowered her head into her hands and massaged her temples as the exhaustion of the day finally took its toll on her, she'd finally cracked.

"How about we go back to the apartment, hmm?" Angela suggested, "you can get a nice night's sleep and if you're up to it I could take you out in Seattle for the day to blow off some steam?"

"That sounds great," Bella regained composure as she settled back against the passenger seat, "thank you, Angela...for everything, I knew I had to crack at some point..."

"You're welcome, I'm glad it was with me," Angela assured, "Jasper likes to think of himself as some emotional therapist, but secretly I think I best him in girl-talk."

"Definitely," Bella allowed herself to chuckle at Jasper's earlier 'girl-talk' in the form of her sexual repression.

They pulled up outside of the apartment a few minutes later and Angela helped Bella to wipe away her smudged mascara to hide the fact that she had been crying. Jasper was in the same position as they had left him, watching Steve Irwin in a dated episode of 'Crocodile Hunter'.

"I'm going to go and say bye to Edward, will you put the food away?" Angela asked Jasper as she passed the armchair on the way to Edward's room.

"Sure," Jasper hopped up.

"Maybe you could set up Stix's bed for Bella as well, she's tired and I don't want to see her sleeping on that couch."

"Alright, Mother," Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Good boy," Angela scuffed his hair before slipping down the hall.

"Stix?" Bella asked him curiously.

"Oh, Edward's sister," he replied, "if you know anything about Pixy Stix you'll get the name."

"She's a head rush?"

"And then some," Jasper nodded, "I don't think I've ever seen her sober though so it might just be induced by the pot and alcohol."

"She stays here?"

"Only when her flatmate Irina can't get her back to their apartment, she usually drags her here to sleep the night off."

"If you guys can't even afford rent, why don't you live in a two-bed?"

"This _is_ a two bed," Jasper laughed, "it's not our fault that the 'closet' is big enough to shove a bed in – we sometimes sublet it to earn some extra cash."

"How very entrepreneurial of you."

"Why thank you, we do our best to earn an honest living," he bowed.

"Honest my ass," Angela teased as she strolled back into the lounge, "right guys, I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, pulling Bella into a quick embrace.

"I can't wait," Bella nodded.

"I'll get your number off Jasper and I'll call you in the morning," she said as she picked up her costume bag she'd left in the kitchen.

"Do you need a ride home?" Bella offered.

"Oh no, don't worry – I only live across the street."

"In the fancy apartments," Jasper winked at Bella, "go on, get out of here you rich bitch."

"Good luck paying rent this month!" Angela called as she pulled the apartment door open.

"Ha, the joke's on you – you'll finally have to move your boyfriend and his wing-man in."

"Never gonna happen!" Angela called as the door closed behind her.

"I know she wants us," Jasper continued the joke, "her heart bleeds every time she has to leave," he sighed, hand on heart.

"I'm sure it does," Bella rolled her eyes and shuffled through the grocery bags to find the bag of chips she'd bought for herself.

"Right, I'm off for a shower, if you hear a thump, Edward's probably passed out – keep an ear out," Jasper said as he walked towards the hall.

"Sure."

She ambled over to the armchair in front of the TV and flicked through the channels until she found a rerun of a favorite TV show. The sound of running water sounded from the hall and the bathroom door locked as Jasper occupied the room. She was so engrossed in the show that she hadn't noticed Edward slip into the kitchen and quietly unpack the groceries into their rightful places. The clang of pots and pans was the first indication of his presence and Bella's attention honed in on the kitchen where the startling sound had come from.

"Sorry," Edward chuckled, beaming a white, crooked smile.

Her heart pounded faster.

"W-what happened to your hair?" she breathed out.

Her stomach lurched violently.

"Oh," he laughed it off, "it was a temporary dye from the dollar store – washed right out on the first go."

_Temporary dye?_

"And your eyes -"

"Contacts," Edward nodded, "I couldn't resist freaking out Riley...he's still too young to understand the concept, swallowed it hook, line and sinker."

_Just like I did._

Bella swallowed thickly and tried to fend off the panic.

He was it.

Copper colored hair. Green eyes. Tall. Fair skin.

What _had_ she done?

* * *

Don't hate on me because of the Jasper/ Angela situation, sometimes people aren't readily single and waiting for someone writing FF to conveniently place them together.


	7. Giant's Highwire

Refunded, Darling

_Giant's High-wire_

Throughout her entire life, Bella Swan had never been a good actress. In school plays she had always been picked to represent an inanimate object that would need neither direction nor conviction to play the part; an oak tree, a cloud - always a backdrop to the drama on stage. The chalked pallor of her skin, foregrounded by the rubious blush across her cheeks belied the bravado she often used as a shield against her weak performance. They called her the Flighty Swan, an apt mockery of her propensity to flee the stage; shock, embarrassment and fear her foes - a reflection of her mother's temperament, and a comparison that would haunt her for years to come.

Therefore, the hurried scuffling of two bare feet dug haphazardly into Converse, laces untied and askew, signified the exercising of the one tragic flaw of Bella Swan. The painful slamming of heart against ribcage was the only action she could hide from Edward's concern as the lies tumbled from her lips.

_"I'm cold…my coat's in the car…aren't you freezing?…"_

Breaths were ragged and strained as she punched the button for the elevator; a fingernail chipped under the pressure of her jab, sending a sharp, stinging shock down the length of her wrist. Edward's offers to turn up the thermostat had been ignored in her panicked haste and she only prayed that her quick escape hadn't caused concern even if her reasoning had been flaky.

The long strands of her brown hair clung to her cheeks as she scurried through the rain with a prominent waddle, the air too thick to breathe. Her chest heaved with every jarring breath, her lungs failing against the shroud of panic that enveloped her sodden figure. As she yanked the door open to the Cadillac her cell trilled the ringtone she'd assigned to her mother's profile; her fingers fumbled in her pocket as she took refuge from the rain, slipping awkwardly into the passenger seat.

_"- Hello...Sweetie, can you hear me?"_

"Mom," she managed through shuddering breaths.

_"Are you crying?! Baby, what's wrong?"_

_"_I - I…"

"_You what? What, Bella? Are you hurt?"_

"I...I did something really stupid, Mom," she sobbed into the cell, "so, so stupid…" she admitted, leaning her forehead against the upper rim of the steering wheel.

"_What did you do, Baby?"_

"I can't breathe," she hiccuped, "I- I-…"

"_You're scaring me, I'm getting your father to come and get you -"_

_"_No," Bella choked, "I'm okay…_please_, don't tell Dad," she sniffed, throat catching.

_"I can't help you unless you tell me what going on, Kid," _Sue's voice lulled her over the phone.

_" _I-I found him, Mom," she struggled to speak as she swallowed back the thickness of her admission.

"_Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means…" _

"I'm gonna be sick," Bella threw the cell onto the dash, flipping the driver's door open and narrowly missing the car next to hers.

"_Bella?!"_

She wretched onto the tarmac.

_"Bella! Pick up the phone right now!"_

"Oh my god-"

"_For Christ's sake, pick up the phone!"_

"I can't do this -"

"_If you don't pick up your cell right this instant I'm getting Charlie to trace the call."_

Bella traced her lips with the tips of her fingers and wiped away the lingering traces of bile before slumping back into her seat. She reached out and picked up the cell with trembling fingers and pressed it to her ear as Sue continued to fret down the line.

"_What were you thinking, Kid?!" _Sue admonished as Bella's staccato gasps registered into the cell.

"I thought I was doing the right thing," she sniffled her defense, "I didn't think-"

_"No, you didn't," _Sue snapped,_ "have you told him? Does he know?"_

"No-"

_"Are you going to tell him?"_

"He has a girlfriend-"

"_Pack up and come home right now," _Sue demanded, "_you have no right to interfere with his life, Bella, no right at all."_

"But the baby-"

_"Everything you're doing right now is putting that baby at risk, Isabella; working yourself up like this is going to risk the well-being of that child if you don't calm yourself down. You don't know this man from Adam, I have no idea what you were thinking…" _Sue took a deep breath, "_I know we've had our differences but you know your __father and I will support you through this, we'll help you as much as we can whatever you decide to do- you didn't need to go searching for somebody that has no right to be involved; what if he decided to sue?"_

"He wouldn't-"

"_He might, it's a very real possibility," _Sue tried to ground her.

Bella's stomach churned at the revelation.

There was a silence for a few moments as both women tried to grapple with the information they had been dealt with.

Sue was the one to crack.

_"Have you got a drink with you?"_

"No, I'm in my car."

_"Drink something as soon as you can, it'll settle you stomach and stop you from getting dehydrated. Are you in any pain?"_

"No," Bella sighed, gently tracing the underside of her bump, she knew getting worked up would never do her any favors "should I go and see someone?"

_"If you say you're okay then I trust you; you're seeing Dr. Gerandy in a few days so unless you're in pain or you stop feeling movement, wait for his appointment."_

"Okay," she swallowed, wiping the last remnants of her panic from her eyes with her bobbled sleeve. She fiddled with the Celtic ring on her thumb as Sue begged for her to return home the next morning, unaware of the fact that Jasper lived with Edward. She suspected that Sue would be a lot more vocal if she was also aware of that fact.

Her lip stung as she drew her front teeth over the battered skin- she would have to remedy that habit one day. She made a promise to pack up and hit the road the next day before allowing herself to be subjected to a few more warnings from Sue and a short chat with Seth who had been a nightmare since her departure.

_"No, Momma!" _Seth cried as Sue took the phone from him.

_"Bella will be home tomorrow, Seth, go and get dressed for bed. Hey Kid, I'm going to go and change the sheets in your room, do you have any laundry that needs doing?"_

_"_Just the stuff in my hamper. Thanks, Mom."

"_Alright, I think Charlie's just-_" but Bella's attention was distracted by a light rapping on the passenger side window. Edward's hooded head bent and peeked through the rain-blurred glass and elicited a sharp gasp from her, much to Sue's interest.

"I have to go," she hurried into the cell, "I'll call you in the morning," she ended the call swiftly. Bella leaned over the console and unlocked the passenger door as a welcome for Edward to join her, even if the logical side of her begged for her to avoid interaction at all costs.

"Hey," he smiled warmly, dropping into the seat beside her. He dropped the hood from his head and swiped at the few droplets of rain that had managed to cling to his skin as he made his way from the apartment to the car. The smell of cinnamon wafted through the Cadillac as the car freshener jostled to and fro at the expense of his actions; it was a calming aroma that grounded her for the moment; familiarity at its finest.

"I, um, you were taking a long time," he admitted, turning to her with wind-raw cheeks, "I thought, maybe, that you'd had an accident or been attacked-"

"I'm fine," she cut him off quickly, nodding her head to reassure not only him but herself.

"Good," he nodded back, crumpling the ring of keys he had clutched into his hand into a fist, "I made a start on dinner, I thought you might like a vegetable bolognaise - Angela told me you were vegetarian," he answered the look of curiosity that crossed her face.

"Yeah," she sighed, "thanks, it sounds nice."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm great," she forced down the truth and led with the lie.

He looked at her with skepticism before pulling his sleeve over the butt of his palm and reaching out to wipe her cheek.

"If you don't want me to know you were crying, I'm betting you wouldn't want Jasper either," he explained as she flinched and pulled away from his advances.

The traitorous flush of her cheeks forced her to shy away from him and she wrenched the mirrored visor into her view, scrubbing the streaked line away with her own sleeve. There was an awkward silence for a while as the harsh pelting of rain ricocheted off the Coup De Ville, Edward seemed entirely unaffected by her nervousness and leaned against his seat comfortably.

"You know," he turned to her with a smile, "Jasper's probably dying in eighty degree heat right now - I turned the thermostat up as much as it would go."

"I, uh - lost my coat …I think…"

"It's on the back of the armchair in the apartment," Edward continued to smile as she fumbled for an excuse. He had probably known that all along and had allowed her to play out her little facade with no hindrance; the embarrassment was more than a little uncomfortable and she toyed with the loop on her car key to avoid having to face his curiosity.

Edward was more than intrigued by the young woman across from him, but more importantly, unnerved by her sudden distress. He was not blind to the fact that she seemed uncomfortable in his presence, or had been since he'd come home from Riley's birthday party. They'd had amiable conversation when she'd first arrived and she was a lot more forthcoming and feisty than she had been for the past hour or so. He knew she was important to Jasper, which in turn made it important that they were at least cordial and comfortable with one another; as soon as she'd scurried from the apartment he set about making a dinner that she would be able to enjoy, a peace offering at the most.

Why she suddenly felt the need to spin a few feeble lies and escape from the apartment, he didn't know, he only hoped he hadn't become the reason for her sudden discomfort. He didn't want to raise questions about or admit to the fact that he'd witnessed her vomiting onto the parking lot, he'd watched from the glass-paned stairwell and hesitated, wary of her abrupt need for space.

She looked so fragile.

"I think I'm ready to go back inside now," Bella found her voice. She would stay the night for Jasper's sake, he had gone out of his way to accommodate her so suddenly and she would be ungrateful and rude to throw it back in his face, not to mention Angela's unconditional kindness that she had barely reciprocated.

"Alright, in your own time," Edward nodded, "I'll walk you back."

"I can walk across a parking lot," she rolled her eyes, "when I can't even do that by myself, shoot me."

"Hey," he held his hands up, "this isn't the best part of Seattle, who said it wasn't me who needed the protection?"

Bella couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her; it was a contradiction of the heavy guilt and nauseating shock that battled to linger in her system and she was both welcoming and condemning of the few peels of laughter that fell from her lips. She pushed the driver's side door open and grimaced at the bile she'd been unable to keep down before shuffling her feet beyond the mess and onto untainted tarmac.

Edward sidled up alongside her and accompanied her to the entrance of the building with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"So you like The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, eh?" he asked, eying the stretched band t-shirt over her stomach.

"Yeah, they were my first concert" she fumbled with the hem, "it's getting a bit small now."

"I saw them last year," Edward replied, "I have a t-shirt somewhere, it'll be big enough to replace your one," he offered.

"You don't have to do that," she shook her head as they stepped onto the elevator.

"It's yours," Edward hurried to quash her refusal, "take it as an apology for your near early labor scare in the hall."

Bella didn't want Edward's kindness, it would only make it harder for her to leave the next morning knowing that she would be leaving the father of her baby behind - a man who had shown her nothing but kindness despite the fact that they were near enough strangers. The smell of a slow-cooking bolognaise registered with her senses as she stepped over the threshold and her stomach grumbled loudly, reminding her that she'd expelled most of her sustenance in the parking lot.

"Where've you guys been?!" Jasper's neck craned from his armchair as the pair strolled into the kitchen.

"Bella's car alarm went off while you were in the shower so we went out to make sure it was alright," Edward lied easily, he covered for her knowing that she would be uncomfortable telling him the truth.

"Yeah, it must have been a cat or something, the Coup's really sensitive these days," she dropped herself onto the couch opposite Jasper.

Jasper shrugged and turned back to Edward.

"So Stewart Martha, what's on the menu tonight?"

"Spaghetti bolognaise."

"That'll do me," Jasper nodded.

"Did you hear back from the agency today?"

"Nah - nothing going at the moment that I'm qualified for-"

"I thought there was a pot-wash job going on 5th Ave," Edward furrowed his brows.

"Only eight hours a week," Jasper seemed uninterested as he flicked through the channels on the TV.

"Jasper!"

"What?!"

"Even if it's eight hours, you take it! We need to make rent this month or we're out."

Bella noticed that Edward's earlier teasing about avoiding the landlord and missing rent had been set aside for a cold dousing of harsh reality. Even she had to admit that as funny as the guys' earlier attitude was, if she had been in the same situation with Kate in her Arizonian apartment, she would have been crawling the streets for an extra injection of cash into their income.

"Chill Man," Jasper waved him off with the remote, "Siobhan is looking into an internship for me-"

"With who?" Edward sighed, clearly irritated about being the only earner in the apartment.

"KEXP-"

"The radio station?!" Bella jumped in excitedly.

"Woah," Jasper turned back from the TV and glanced between the two excited faces, "I said internship - it's unpaid and I don't even get to go near a radio," he confirmed.

"Keep looking," Edward ordered, "the bar's doing good for the moment but it's vacation season and they'll cut my hours as soon as business gets slow."

"Fine."

"Good."

The atmosphere was tense throughout dinner and Bella focused most of her attention on the baseball match she really had no interest in as Edward and Jasper ate in silence. She excused herself to go to the bathroom as soon as she was through with her meal and dumped her plate in the sink.

"Is there anywhere I can put my stuff?" she asked the boys, duffel in hand.

"I made-up the bed in Stix's room," Jasper nodded, it's the door at the end of the hall.

"Thanks," Bella sighed, dragging the duffel alongside her as she traipsed down the hall. Stix's bedroom that Jasper claimed was a 'closet' was a little more spacious than Jasper's harsh terminology let on, it was nothing compared to her own experience with 'box rooms' but it would suffice for a night. She dumped her duffel onto the single bed and ambled into the bathroom to relieve the uncomfortable pressure on her bladder. She'd made sure to drink plenty of fluids since her nausea had forced her to heave everything in a spectacular display of raw panic.

After washing her face and hands, she returned back to the Stix's room, eyes caught on the small, folded square on her bed. Her fingers unfurled the material, smoothing over the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' 'I'm With You' tour title from the previous year; Edward had kept to his word. She pulled it over her swollen frame to try it for size and smiled with glee as it tumbled over her in a loose yet comfortable fit. Her own t-shirt represented her first foray into the live music scene, a first she had shared as a fourteen year old alongside her nineteen year old sister. Leah and Jake had gone to the 'I'm With You' tour last year, and she had been on a rare visit from Arizona and had watched Tia for the night. She hadn't been too bothered about missing out and instead, had danced with Tia all night to the sound of the band that had brought her closer together with an increasingly independent sister who rarely had time for an annoying high-school sophomore.

She ambled back to the lounge and was about to hug Jasper goodnight when he narrowed his eyes and eyed her shirt as though it was familiar to him.

"Hey! Ed has this shirt," he cried, looking around Bella to Edward who was sprawled on the couch, "Small world, hey, Ed?"

"This _is_ Edward's t-shirt," she admitted, "he gave it to me."

"You gave her your favorite shirt?" Jasper gasped, "geeze, Bells - tell me how you did it, I wouldn't mind a new wardrobe."

"It's not my favorite," Edward argued as Bella turned to him uncomfortably, she refused to let him part with his _favorite_ shirt.

"You can try and fool me but I do the laundry while you're at work," Jasper teased, "it's like the skin off your back, Dude."

"Bella," Edward tried to reassure her, "keep it, Jasper's just being a dick."

"And what crawled up your ass tonight?" Jasper threw back at him.

"I'm going to bed," Edward pushed himself up from the couch, "see you all in the morning," he said before walking away from Jasper's hostility.

"He can be such a douche sometimes," Jasper huffed before zapping the TV off, "is the room okay?" he asked, turning back to Bella who remained silent in the middle of the lounge.

"It's perfect," she snapped out of her daze.

"You can have my bed if you want - Stix has crawled in there a few too many times and I've had to take the closet, it's your call."

"I'll stay put," she offered, "it's cozy."

"Whatever you say, Doll," he chuckled, "come here," he opened his arms as he raised himself onto his feet from the armchair. Bella fell into his embrace and reveled in the comfort he brought to her, chuckling as he mumbled about a 'baby sandwich' between them.

"I'll see you in the morning," he kissed her forehead.

"Night, Jasper."

"Night, Doll."

* * *

Bella was the first to rise in the apartment thanks to her bladder and the increasingly active nature of the unborn baby in her womb. She was a little rough around the edges after sleeping on Stix's bed - it wasn't as comfortable as it looked to be on first sight. Sue's words from the previous night played like a broken record through her mind as she poured herself some cereal and she began to plan her return journey home, going through a mental timeline and trying to determine the best time to leave on a Monday morning.

She grappled with her bottle of vitamins and chugged the required dose back with a glass of water, soothing the slightly raw burn of her throat from her vomiting the night before. After being able to sleep on her situation she'd been able to calm herself somewhat, but the deep-rooted, festering guilt still remained pitted in her gut.

"I thought I heard someone going about," Edward's yawn disturbed her and she flinched at the soft shock.

"Christ, you're dead set on giving me a heart-attack," she pressed a hand to her heart and tried to calm the fast thudding in her chest.

Edward's response was delayed and she faltered a little under his intense gaze, seemingly focused on her hand atop her chest.

"That's a pretty ring," he spoke, his tone deadly even.

Bella pulled her hand away and twisted the ring around her thumb; she always wore it, so much so that she rarely remembered she was even wearing it. It helped to ground her in awkward situations, it distracted her when she was uncomfortable, it was a part of her as much as her little finger was to her hand.

"I got it for my eighteenth," Bella nodded, "my sister worked for a jeweler and got it custom made."

"Oh," Edward swallowed, "that's nice." His sudden aloof manner belied his kind words and she remained affronted until he stalked away from the room without so much as a goodbye.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she grumped to herself.

She allowed herself to watch some mindless television before getting dressed for the day. Jasper could be heard snoring from his room and she assumed he wasn't an early riser like he had been the days he had crashed at her parents', Edward had still not emerged from his bedroom and she assumed that it would remain that way until she hit the road. She took her time gathering her things and making the bed she'd slept on before gently rapping her knuckles on Jasper's door.

"Jasper?"

"He won't be up for a while," Edward's voice sounded from behind her.

"Oh, well I was thinking of leaving-"

"Now?!" Edward's voice raised a notch, panic evident in his tone.

"Yeah," she nodded, "something came up and I have to go back home…"

She couldn't fathom why she began to feel as though the air was turning sour, nor could she figure out the sudden shift in Edward's demeanor that had been more than sweet and welcoming only the night before. The t-shirt she wore over her yoga pants began to feel heavy on her as his eyes roved over her with a discernible scrutiny - maybe Jasper was right, maybe he _was_ a douche. She decided that she would leave the shirt behind, a clean, smooth break from Edward would be the best form of closure.

"Angela was hoping to take you out for the day," Edward's voice made itself known again, still a one-eighty from the night before.

"I'll leave my number before I go, I can rearrange for another time," she offered, completely invested in the lie.

"I'm sure you can," Edward snipped.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" Bella snarked back, "don't try you attitude out on me, douche-bag, you don't even know me."

"I think you're pretty transparent, " Edward hissed, "don't bother waking Jasper up, you'll only drive another stake through his heart when you tell him you're leaving."

Bella's heart jolted.

"He told you about the kiss?" she blanched.

"Of course he did, I guess you play a fair game - he fell for your 'I need an escape' routine in a heartbeat. Have you always been a tease?"

"Who do you think you are?" Bella scoffed before storming right up to him, "you have no right making up crap like that."

"Oh come on," he threw back at her, "don't play the coy little madam now, take a hike if you think you're pulling the wool over my eyes."

"You know what, I don't have to deal with this," Bella stepped back, "have a nice life, Edward," she snipped and stormed back to Stix's room. She ripped off the band t-shirt and let it drop to the floor in a scrunched ball before reaching for her own and slipping it over her torso with a greater difficulty than she had ever required previously. The past twenty four hours had been a roller-coaster in terms of her emotions and only an hour ago she had been feeling guilty for making the ultimate decision to leave Edward in the dark about his impending offspring. Now, she couldn't give two shits.

She dragged her duffel back down the hall and scribbled a hurried apology to Jasper on the boys' notepad, a wave of guilt washing over her at the fact that she would probably never see him again, or get to thank him for his acts of comfort and generous hospitality.

_I'm sorry, Jazz x_

She dropped the pencil with a weary sigh and glanced around the apartment quickly, mentally checking she had everything before Edward could make himself known again. The apartment door wouldn't come free from the frame without a fight and Bella feared that she had woken Jasper when the door slammed against the opposite wall from the force of her pull. The apartment stayed quiet and she thanked whatever deity was out there for allowing her the time to escape without the awkward difficulty of having to explain why.

She was more careful calling for the elevator for the last time, using the same fingertip to jab the smooth, worn metal button. Experience had taught her to hold her breath and she breathed through her mouth to avoid the stale stench of urine and damp as she pushed the button for the ground floor. The elevator groaned and the two doors slid into closure only to be wrenched back open by two frantic hands.

Edward stalked onto the elevator, ignoring her "what the hell" as he stabbed the 'emergency hold' button.

Bella's nerves spiked and she only wished that she'd taken Charlie's advice and carried the pepper spray in her coat pocket so it could be readily available for use; she would not think twice about using it on Edward if he was set on corning her in the elevator.

"You know what, you don't get to leave without the confrontation - you came into _our_ home so it's the least you deserve," Edward snapped as he slipped a frustrated hand through his copper hair.

"For fuck's sake!" Bella cried, "I'm not playing Jasper so get lost," she crossed her arms over her chest.

Edward scoffed.

"You think I actually give a shit about that?" he retorted, "_newsflash_, I couldn't care less about your extracurricular activities - but from what the evidence shows," he glanced down at her abdomen, "I think my assumptions are correct."

"You don't know me," Bella hissed, "quit while you're ahead, Asshole."

"Like I said - you're as transparent as my fucking windshield," he spat, quickly producing something from his pocket and shoving it under her nose. He ordered her to take it, shoving it closer and closer until she finally snapped and wrenched it from his fist.

"I've looked at this photo a thousand times, over and over and over…"

Bella lowered her eyes to the small photograph he'd thrust into her hands and she felt her stomach lurch in an all too familiar gut-reaction to her panic.

_Tia…_

"_Oh it's custom made_," Edward mimicked her earlier words in a poor and insulting imitation of her voice, "that means there isn't another one in existence; so tell me why the hell it's in a picture of my daughter."

"She's not yours," Bella snapped instinctively. The picture was of a newborn Tia, merely hours old and swaddled in a hospital blanket; Jake had plopped her into her untrained arms without so much as a worry and had snapped pictures like the first-time dad he was, Leah laughing in the background at his keen enthusiasm. She was gently tucking the blanket under the baby's chin in the picture, her thumb and fingers splayed over the tiny body of her newborn niece - the ring on the thumb was blatantly hers.

"So," Edward snatched the photo back, "what was your aim? Sent to try and scope out the donor? Mother split from her partner and decided to sue me for child support?"

It all came crashing down on her like a ton of bricks.

This was not happening. This was _not_ happening.

"Come on!" Edward demanded, "I could sue your ass for meddling with the privacy clause."

"It's not what you think," Bella admitted with a forlorn sadness as she tried to avoid his intimidated stance, but the mirrored interior of the elevator reflected every angle of his misplaced rage.

"Not what I think?!" Edward raged, "then what the fuck were you doing here then? Because hooking up and fucking Jasper wasn't on your agenda!"

"Edward, don't-"

"Don't what? Get angry that you were sly enough to scope me out on my own territory? What kind of sick bitch are you?"

"I wasn't scoping," she choked, the salty burn registering in her eyes.

"Oh here we go, here come the waterworks…"

Bella felt the rage boiling, she would rather see herself diving off of a cliff before she would back down to his intimidation.

"If this is how riled up you get even having to consider paying child support then I guess you wouldn't give two shits about the truth," she pushed herself away from the corner of the elevator, "the baby? That's Tia, my niece - my _sister's_ daughter," Bella emphasized, "you asked for minimal contact, a photograph and some information and they gave that to you, and yes, that's _me_ holding her in the picture."

"I knew it!"

"No, Edward," she shook her head with a disgusted frown, "you don't know anything. You have no idea that they died three months ago, that the beautiful little girl in that photograph can no longer be cuddled or teased or tickled…" she grit her teeth as the tears slipped down her face, "you have no idea about the pain our family suffers. I didn't come here to screw over Jasper or to scope you out for something as pathetic as your would-be sixty dollars a month in support, you can barely pay your own rent let alone provide for a child," she threw the insults right back in his face.

The look of despair that crossed his face told her that she had struck him enough, but Bella was a woman scorned and he'd pushed her too far and she was at the brink.

"You know what the kicker is?" Bella asked, "if they'd have survived, if none of this had ever happened, you'd be getting another photograph in two months time."

"She was pregnant again?" Edward choked, his bravado diminished by the mournful revelation of Bella's news.

"No," Bella shook her head, "she wasn't pregnant this time - they had to do a hysterectomy after Tia was born."

"Then who…" he trailed off, the information finally slipping into place.

"I was their surrogate," Bella confirmed for him, "we used the same donation so Tia would have a half-sibling."

Edward's eyes dropped back to her abdomen and she recoiled back into the corner of the elevator.

"You're pregnant with my child?"

"Biologically, yes," she admitted, "but this is _my_ child, you have no obligation or rights so you're safe on that front," she snarked.

"Then what were you doing here?" he quipped, gaining some of his bravado back.

"I thought that it was only fair you were saddled with the responsibility of raising this child like I was, but I guess that was a stupid idea all around - you made your views very clear five minutes ago so I think it's safe to say this is over and I should leave."

"What if I _want_ to raise the child?"

Bella's heart jumped to her throat.

_Sue was right, she was so fucking right._

They had no more words for one another, the silence was a punishment enough for both.

"Edward?"

Bella and Edward both startled as Angela appeared between the open elevator doors.

"I took the stairs...the elevator wasn't working," she mumbled, her gaze flitting between the pair.

"Angela-" Bella breathed.

"You lied to me," Angela shook her head, "I asked you and you told me he wasn't…"

"I didn't know until after you left," Bella pleaded, her tone a complete one eighty in comparison to the words she'd exchanged with Edward.

The tense silence ensued and neither Angela nor Edward made any move to allow her an escape.

The stench of urine and damp assuaged her senses once again; it coupled with her already fragile nerves and she clamped a hand over her mouth to try and stop the surge.

"Bella, are you okay?"

It was useless; it all happened so fast that she couldn't have even run into the apartment.

She vomited, again.

If the smell of urine and damp was nauseating, the smell of urine, damp and vomit was exponentially worse.

* * *

Oh Lordy, the drama!


	8. Burned Little Lips

Refunded, Darling

_ Burned Little Lips_

The silence was something she had become accustom to over the months since the accident; muted conversations with Sue, lost for words and comfort over the crackling of her phone line; Charlie's non-verbal nods and scuffing of her hair, a livelihood lost as the limpet grief drained the hustle and bustle from the Swan household.

'I love you's' had been replaced with often overbearing and imprisoning nuances that served to annoy rather than comfort; the freezing of her keys, walking to kingdom come with no respite - actions that required no words, no outright admittance of the fear that lingered, yet still expressed the love that could not be spoken in the wake of death.

Charlie had never been an overly verbose kind of man, stronger in action rather than words; a clip to the ear rather than a verbal reprimand, a cuddler rather than a storyteller, nods and shakes instead of 'yes' or 'no'. Sue was the perfect balancing act and talked enough for both Charlie and herself; opinions, arguments and verbal affirmations that complimented Charlie's introverted ways.

Bella both hated and admired the silence, enveloped herself in it and tugged herself free - a mix of her eclectic parentage.

However, the silence she endured after being accompanied back to the apartment was not something she found comfort in nor something she could escape from. There was no bedroom to hide herself away, nothing familiar that could ground her and dissipate the eerie mirror of the silence she endured at her sister's wake. Sweat-slickened hands slid down the length of her jean-covered thighs as she anchored herself on the couch, fighting the instinctive urge to flee.

The delicate clink of spoon against mug echoed from the kitchen and she forced deliberate, calming breaths through her nose to slow the heightened thrum of her heartbeat against her sternum. The click of the kettle alongside the noisy bubbling of boiling water overrode her senses and the calm she had tried to achieve was hijacked by the imminent end of Angela's distraction.

All too soon, a chipped mug was pressed into her hands and she was forced to accept the beverage from Angela who retreated with her own mug onto the opposite couch. Bella hadn't asked for a drink, nor had she been asked by Angela, but both girls wrapped their hands around the mug-warmth and savoured it as a token of security and distraction for the inevitable discussion that neither had demanded, but both knew was needed.

The warmth against her fingertips reminded Bella of home comforts and days spent by the fire watching fishing re-runs on Charlie's lap; nights spent drinking hot chocolate under sheet-made forts by the hearth with a four-year old Seth and a two-year old Tia who had passed out after Bella had added cocoa to her evening bottle. Memories of burned little lips who sipped before cooling, frantic rushing to the kitchen sink to rinse out mouths with cold water to soothe the burn. It was a beverage of pain and comfort, and oddly, Bella smiled through the awkwardness of her current position and tentatively sipped the drink as the ghost of a smile curled at the corners of her lips.

"Mmmh," the gentle hum escaped her as the sweet liquid danced over her tastebuds, she had become immune to the burn long ago.

"They say chocolate is good after a fainting spell, so I took liberties and used it as a post-vomit top-up," Angela's voice smoothed over the silence, drawing Bella away from the warm delight in her hands, "my Mom used to make it after we grazed our knees or had a bad day…I guess this day qualifies," she attempted a weak smile, gently caressing the sides of her mug to warm her hands.

"Yeah," Bella breathed in response, still unable to meet Angela's eyes. If she had looked up, or had the courage to lift her head, she would have been comforted in the knowledge that Angela was also preoccupied with her mug, sailing the same boat of avoidance.

"In all honesty, I don't know what to say to you," Angela admitted after their continued silence.

"I don't think anybody does," Bella replied, tucking the long, wispy strands of her wayward hair behind her ear. Sue had words of comfort but often walked the opposite path and tugged at Bella's nerves with unneeded snippets; Charlie left her to her own devices and Jasper, though sometimes perfectly in synch with what she needed, proved that his emotions and feelings had the tendency to overrule his logic.

"Have you talked to a professional?"

"Like a shrink?" Bella bristled, hands clenching tightly around the handle of the mug. Angela's reply registered somewhere among the barrage of memories that came along with the suggestion of a shrink. Once upon a time, Charlie had tried to get Bella to see a therapist after he and Sue had sat her down and told her that Sue wasn't her biological mother. At six years old, finding out that the Mom she'd always known hadn't carried her in her belly or sung lullabies to her in the early months of her life had been a shock to the system and Bella had started acting out. A Mr. Jenks had been unable to get her to speak in her sessions and ultimately, it had taken several months, a hundred or so tears and a lot of reassurance from Sue and her father to overcome the revelation that had warped her innocent mind.

"…a grief counsellor, Bella. She's lovely, she helped me a long time ago -"

"I'm sorry," Bella registered her absence in the 'conversation', "what?"

"There's a lovely woman at my church that you could speak to," Angela repeated, "Charlotte Walden."

"A grief counsellor?" Bella questioned again.

"Yes."

"Thanks, but I think I'm alright," Bella shuffled into another position on the couch and lifted the mug to her lips once again. Her eyes flickered up to glance at Angela and a fine guilt seeped its way into her gut as she observed the flash of pity that knitted her brows and drew her lips into a faint frown. Of course the pain was still there and she supposed it always would be, nothing could erase the cloud of grief that rained over her every single day; psychology would do nothing to bring back the lives of her sister and niece.

"Okay," Angela finally sighed, "okay."

Although she didn't want to admit it, Angela's calm and seemingly comforting stance irritated Bella and she only wished that the girl would do something other than pierce her with the familiar stake of pity that each and every person who knew about the situation stabbed into her. In all honest truth, she wanted to get mad and trade blazing remarks with very little basis, to sever everything they'd built over the past couple of days and leave it in a tattered, bloody mess so she'd have less qualms about leaving the situation behind.

It was like someone had taken the enviable qualities of patience, dignity and compassion from a saint and had injected them into Angela's very being, and it was hard to fuel her desire to sabotage their relationship, especially after she felt Angela's arms wrap around her body. At first, she wondered why Angela was shaking so violently and wrapped her arms around her to quell the burst of emotion that she hadn't expected from the tiny, Pocahontas-loving girl.

As a gentle hand smoothed over her back and rocked her to and fro, she realised that it hadn't been Angela who had broken down at all.

"I'm so sorry," Angela's fingertips smoothed over the length of her hair down her back.

"I didn't know it was him," Bella breathed into her shoulder, "I promise-"

"Shhh, I know, I know," Angela continued to smooth a hand over her back, "I'm sorry for doubting you."

The smell of Angela's flowery perfume tickled Bella's nostrils but she allowed herself to be consumed by the embrace and enveloped by the much-needed hug that she was missing from home. They stayed that way for a short while, until the loud crack of the front door coming away from its frame and lock startled both of the girls.

Edward looked a little sheepish as he entered and quickly turned away from the pair as he kicked the door closed. He carried a bottle of Clorox over to the kitchen counter and set the bucket of scourers and rags onto the floor next to the trashcan, seemingly finished with cleaning the elevator after his earlier intimidation. He brought with him the harsh, sanitizing smell of bleach and it drifted through the apartment and lingered, masking the smell of last-night's dinner that still hadn't been aired out of the apartment.

Edward seemed a little affronted at the huddled position the girls shared on the couch and Bella could detect a slight bitterness in Edward's expression as he placed the bleach into the cupboard underneath the sink. Bella had been whisked away from the elevator by Angela as soon as she'd vomited, away from an enraged Edward who had only entered the apartment to grab cleaning supplies.

Angela gently pulled herself away from Bella and onto her feet in a decisive manner, before making her way over to Edward who had settled himself against the edge of the countertop, deep in thought. Bella tried to ignore the hushed conversation shared between the pair and traced her thumb over the ring of her mug as feet shuffled in the kitchen.

Footsteps creaked over the wood floor and Angela was back at her side after a few uncomfortable minutes.

"Would you consider going to my place to talk?" Angela asked, "it's Jasper- free and you guys could talk in private…" she trailed off at Bella's slight recoil.

"I forgot about Jasper," Bella worried.

"I think he's the least of our worries at the moment," Angela reminded her, "we want you to do whatever you feel comfortable doing, but Edward really wants to go over a few things before you go back to Forks."

"I told him I don't want anything from him," Bella looked up at her from her mug a little exasperated, "please, tell him he's off the hook or whatever."

"You need to give him a little more credit than that," Angela allowed a small smile to grace her lips.

"Seriously," Bella edged herself away from Angela, "I told you guys I made a mistake."

"Look, I can't take back from you what I said in the car," Angela toyed with her keys, "I can't push you away knowing that I'd be a hypocrite, and I can't find it in myself to deny somebody the chance to make amends or someone a family; I love my Dad more than anything."

"Angela-"

"Just give him half an hour," Angela urged, "if all of this isn't meant to be, if we can't make something work… at least then we all get closure."

"I have closure," Bella shook her head.

"Then what are you still doing here?" Angela asked her.

"Because some ass trapped me in an elevator," Bella shot back, "what gives you all the right to demand _anything_ from me?"

"You came here, Bella," Angela reminded her, "and you really laid it on thick back there. I don't know half of what you two know about the situation, but I know Edward will never be able to move on from this or forgive himself if he doesn't at least make an attempt to extend an olive branch."

"He has no right," Bella repeated as she tried to avoid the figure shuffling in her peripheral, pacing the kitchen tile with sloppy footfalls.

"Did you have any rights invading his privacy?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Forget all of this legal bullshit for a minute, think about how you'd feel if someone waved something of the same magnitude in your face and then snatched it all away. Would you let yourself walk away from it?"

Bella exhaled heavily and finally allowed herself to look over at Edward's slumped figure; she was scared. The quick shift in Edward's demeanour had rattled her and it was abundantly clear that she knew next to nothing about the man who was the donor for half of her child's DNA.

"Will you come?" Bella asked tentatively.

"Of course," Angela nodded, "but I can't be there," Angela admitted.

"I don't mind," Bella assured her.

"Thanks, but this is something that you need to work out between you; either way, I'm just the third wheel for now."

Bella swallowed uncomfortably at Angela's admission, she'd never meant to make Angela feel like an outsider.

"I'll hang out in my room or something," she answered Bella's worried expression, "if you need me, I'll be feet away."

"I don't know," Bella sighed.

"Half an hour," Angela pressed, "he might not deserve it, but the baby does."

It was with great trepidation that Bella found herself walking alongside Angela as she led the way to her apartment across the street. The only grace she had been granted was Edward's absence who had stayed behind to change before meeting them at Angela's. She had to rush to the bathroom as soon as she was over the threshold to Angela's apartment; it gave her a few moments to compose herself and to prepare for Edward's arrival.

The opulence of Angela's apartment was a stark contrast to that of the boys' and Bella couldn't find it in herself to ask how Angela could afford a place that offered such a grand environment. Angela busied herself by tidying away her gossip magazines and folding her laundry that she'd left in a basket on her counter.

A key turning in the lock alerted them of Edward's presence and Angela quickly snatched up the laundry basket and made her way over to the hall.

"I'll be in here if you need me," she called, turning to Edward with a warning glance before disappearing behind the door.

The atmosphere was intensely awkward and Bella shuffled her feet as Edward sighed and traipsed over to the opposite couch. He no longer reeked of Clorox and his spattered jeans were replaced with some older, untainted pair, worn at the knees. He shoved a reddened hand through his hair and stared at an empty spot on the floor as she bit her lip, waiting for one of them to crack.

It was tortuous.

"Your niece was beautiful," Edwards words finally pierced the silence, joined by a gentle fumbling in his pockets as he withdrew four tattered photographs. He placed them on the glass coffee table before them in neat precision and kept his fingertips in contact with the fourth.

"This one was my favourite," he sighed, "she has this cheek about her, I don't know…I imagine she was a little spunky."

"She _was_ spunky," Bella allowed the wry smile to wave across her lips at the memories, "that was her fourth birthday," she chewed her lip, considering whether she should give more away, but the heartwarming memories urged her forward, "the blue cast on her arm? She just had this fearless nature that would scare the crap out of me; three trips to the E.R after she started walking. I was scared the emergency department thought that I was abusing her or something- but she loved jumping off of the seventh stair and she always managed to do it when I'd go to the bathroom or begin making dinner…"

"She was a handful then?"

"One-hundred percent," Bella beamed, "but she was the most loving child- she and Seth taught me how to love people unconditionally; there wasn't a day where they didn't want a hug or a big sloppy 'Belly kiss', they cheered me up even when I was in the worst of moods."

"It sounds like your family did a great job," Edward smiled, "I'm glad you have those memories of her."

"She was loved, so much," Bella dared attract his attention, "she wanted for nothing."

Edward guided another hand through his hair and leaned forward a little more, perching himself on the edge of the couch.

"I'm sorry about the elevator," he apologised, "I'm not that guy; the brute…I'm sorry that I scared you."

"I'm sorry for being so insensitive," Bella offered back, "but this is still _my_ child, Edward. I still have every right to leave whenever I want without you going all postal on me."

"But what else did you expect me to do?" Edward threw up his hands in frustration, "you can't just uproot someone's life like that and then fuck off like none of it mattered."

"I didn't know I had! If it wasn't for that stupid hair dye we wouldn't even be here right now."

"You still wouldn't have told me?"

"Of course not," Bella admitted, shaking her head, "you have a _girlfriend_, Edward, and a nice one at that. You already have a complicated life and I couldn't just throw my kid into the mix hoping that everything would sort itself out."

Bella felt the tension rise in the room and she could tell that Edward was still dealing with his frustrations.

"You can be angry at me for tracking you down, but you have no right to stop me from leaving again and I think we all know that's for the best."

"Will you stop telling me what rights I have?" Edward snapped at her again, "I have the right to feel and to regret. Just because the situation is fucked up doesn't mean I don't still have feelings…whether you like it or not, I'm that child's father and I can't switch off how it makes me feel knowing that you can just walk out of the door and have every right to deny me anything. I _know_ my rights."

"Regret?" Bella bristled, a slow-burning fear igniting in her gut.

"I'm _human_," Edward emphasised, "you don't know how it feels to have a part of you running around somewhere in the world, not knowing if they're safe or loved. You really don't think about it at the time; how you have to potential to create such brilliance, that it could mean so much more than a quick buck to keep you alive for a couple more weeks."

"You were _that_ desperate for money?" Bella recoiled with disgust.

"No," Edward slammed a hand down onto the coffee table, "you don't get to make that face, you don't get to judge me."

"What? Like you did me?" Bella retorted.

"I'm not proud of it," Edward exhaled deeply, "nothing prepares you for the feelings you're haunted by after that donation…after the first letter that tells you you're a father."

"Then why set yourself up for the heartache?" Bella questioned.

"The counsellor told me not to request contact, that a clean donation would be for the best…but I'm not that guy- what if the kid got ill? Do I have the right to live as I please and hope the parents can scavenge organs from a dead kid or something?"

"You didn't need a letter a year for that."

"That was me being selfish then," Edward explained, "I needed to know that any kid of mine was okay."

"How chivalrous of you."

"Oh get off your high horse, Bella," Edward snarked, "you still came running at the first sign of trouble - it got you here didn't it?"

Bella had to swallow her pride in that moment as she accepted Edward's rebuttal; if they were still considering each other's rights, she had overstepped hers the moment she went looking for Edward and that she could not dispute.

"I don't even understand what we're discussing here anymore, " Bella smoothed a hand over her abdomen.

"I thought it was quite obvious-"

"That _what_ was?" Bella snapped.

"This kid has no Dad, right?"

"Oh, I see where you're going with this," she tried to act nonchalant, but the fear was tearing at her insides, "and the answer is no," she struggled to push herself onto her feet in order to make a quick escape.

"Then why the fuck did you come here?" Edward hissed, "just to flaunt it in my face? Make me feel like shit all over again?" he asked, raising to his feet alongside her.

"Will you stop being an ass!" she cried, "how in the fuck could you be a father? You can't afford rent, you fly off the handle at every given moment and I don't even fucking know you!"

"Says the kid living with her parents -"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Oh come on," Edward sneered, "you look like you're still in college."

"I finished college, Asshole!"

"I'm trying so hard to be nice right now," Edward stepped away from her and began to pace behind the couch, "I want the kid to have a Dad," Edward tried to persuade her again.

"The baby doesn't need a Dad," Bella retorted, "single Moms do it alone every day."

"They don't have a choice, Bella! I'm giving it to you on a silver platter!"

"Well, I don't want it!"

"For Christ'ssake!" Edward roared before kicking Angela's waste basket across the room.

Bella immediately shrunk into herself and flinched as the basket slammed into the far wall.

Edward dropped against the kitchen counter and hung his head between his knees as he breathed through his frustration. Angela immediately wrenched her bedroom door open and came flying out into the lounge with a terrified look upon her face.

"What the hell was that?!" she shrieked, turning to Edward with an all-knowing fear.

Bella forced herself to stay quiet and ambled over to the far wall as Angela dropped onto her knees beside Edward, clutching his face in the palms of her hands.

Before long, Angela had convinced Edward to take a breather outside in hopes that she could hopefully twist Bella's arm.

"Is this what you really want?" Angela asked her as she leaned against the whitewash wall.

"I don't know him, Angela - I barely know you -"

"And yet he wants to be there for the baby despite not knowing _you_," Angela replied.

"This is my decision," Bella reminded her, "and I'd be willing to look beyond his financial situation if he wasn't so volatile."

"You've hit him where it hurts, Bella," Angela said, "there's a lot more to Edward than his bar shifts and kidult antics and you're forcing him into a corner where he has to face demons he hasn't faced in a long while."

"Great, I seem to have a knack for picking the duds."

"Will you stop being so self-centred for a moment?" Angela fired back at her, "I've been nothing but nice to you when I have every right to sic a lawyer on your ass; you came to us and then expect everything to fall back into place when you decide it isn't what you wanted? Grow up and look at the bigger picture for a second…not everything is as black and white as it seems."

"What happened to 'we want what ever you feel comfortable doing?'"

"You know what?" Angela raised her hands in defeat, "do whatever you want, just do it quick…I'm the one that's going to have to pick up the pieces from your fallout so go ahead and cut to the chase."

"Fine," Bella gave in, snatching her coat from the couch.

Bella felt like a scolded, petulant child as she pulled the door open to the apartment and stepped into the hall; Angela remained in the lounge as Bella respectfully closed the door behind her. The hall was empty and she took a couple of minutes to sift through the barrage of comments thrown her way before convincing herself that a clean break would be the best solution for all.

A baby could not be raised in the environment that she had experienced over the past couple of days; Sue would only drag her back to Forks by her hair anyway. There was a sharp kick to her side as she traipsed down the stairwell and down the few floors to the entrance, she palmed her abdomen through her coat and breathed through the slight pain that a kick to the ribs evoked.

"Eugh," Bella frowned as she met Edward outside the apartment, "you're a smoker too? God, could you be the poster boy for abstinence any more than you are right now?"

"At least I can quit smoking; you'll be a bitch forever," he retorted, dropping to his knees beside her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she stared down at him as though he'd grown a third head.

"Hey Kid," Edward ignored her and focused his attention on his abdomen, "I'm your Dad for the next thirty seconds; your Mom chose to cut me out so I guess this is hello and goodbye - give whatever fucker she picks in the future hell and make sure to come looking for me in eighteen years time."

"Oh, stop spewing filth," Bella nudged his head away and stepped back with a chuckle not even she anticipated.

"What?" Edward shrugged, standing to his feet, "if the kid picks me in eighteen years it'll be on your head."

"You don't know me," Bella looked up at him with a seriousness she felt assuaging her senses, "why would you want this?"

"Why not?" Edward replied, stubbing his cigarette out onto the ground, "people get pregnant from one night stands all of the time; kids are having kids, why does it matter that we don't know each other? Get to know me."

"So if my Dad does a background check on you, you'll turn up squeaky clean? Perfect role model for a newborn baby?"

"And why would he do that?" Edward looked fearful for a second.

"As the Chief of Police he's pretty overprotective," Bella shrugged, "it's protocol if you want to get involved with his kid."

"But I'm not getting 'involved' with you," he frowned.

"But you want to raise his grandkid?" Bella questioned, "he'll be all over you like a rash."

"Then let him at me," Edward surrendered, "Jasper will vouch for me, you like him, right?"

"Jasper is subjective," she rolled her eyes.

"I've known the guy for years, maybe not as long as you but he knows me and he'll clue you up - Angela's the same, her whole fucking church will back me up if you need it."

"Edward-"

"Get to know me," he pleaded.

"But-"

"Get. To. Know. Me," he repeated, "I'll do anything."

"The baby will be here in eight weeks," she told him exasperated, "you'll still be a stranger even then."

"Eight weeks is better than nothing," Edward begged, "I can't go through this again, Bella…I can't be sidelined."

"And what about Angela?" Bella asked, "what about what she wants?"

"She's a natural with kids - raised her twin brothers, we babysit Riley some weekends -"

"This isn't a kid you get to give back after you're tired and done," Bella warned, "Angela might be a natural with kids but who said she wants to raise them? Let alone a stranger's?"

"Have you met Angela?" Edward gave her a look that clearly made her seem like an idiot.

"You haven't even talked to her about it, you're throwing yourself into the deep-end drunk."

"I'm an excellent swimmer," Edward threw back.

"Why the fuck am I even considering this?" Bella questioned out loud as she turned away from him to gather her thoughts. Her cell had been buzzing frantically in her pocket for the past hour or so and she groaned as it went off once more. She pulled out the cell and texted Sue back, promising that she would get on the road soon and make her way back home.

"Here," Edward snatched the cell from her hand.

"Woah," Bella tried to grab it back, "invasion of my personal space-"

"-239, Edward cut her off - you can't get to know me if you don't have my number," he passed the cell back.

"You know, I can just ignore the fact I have your number-"

"Not if I texted myself," Edward withdrew his cell from his pocket as it trilled a small tune.

"Asshole," Bella mumbled as she shoved her phone back into her coat pocket.

"Just go with it."

"Eugh, I need to get on the road," Bella groaned and began to take a few steps away from Edward. He immediately followed her and matched her pace as she crossed the street to collect her duffel from the boys' apartment.

"You get yourself ready, I'll grab your stuff," Edward offered.

"Chivalry won't make me warm up to the idea any faster," she warned.

"Oh, give a man a break," Edward rolled his eyes, "I was trying to make up for being an ass earlier."

Bella refrained from making another sarcastic comment and let her wit slide as Edward jogged up towards the apartment entrance. She shuffled her way over to the Coupe and settled behind the wheel as she waited for her bags to be returned to her.

"Vomit-free, I checked, " Edward promised as he passed her the duffel through the driver-side window.

"Thanks," she responded politely, taking the duffel from him and throwing it onto the back-seat, "look, just give me some space for now, yeah?" she asked as his worried face looked down at her through the window. Nothing had been promised and she was still doubtful that anything would come from her rash and irresponsible visit that she had yet to stop regretting.

"Alright, when are you next up North?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, the probability wasn't high.

"Can we at least promise to meet in the next couple of weeks?"

"I'll call you," she offered, turning on the ignition.

"Fine," Edward sighed.

"Will you give Angela my number?" Bella asked him before she made a move, "we didn't end on a good note."

"Sure, she'll come around…eventually."

Edward moved aside and onto the sidewalk so Bella could reverse; her cell trilled once as she manoeuvred out of her parking spot and she checked it quickly before setting off.

**EdwardC:**

**GTKM Fact One - I love apples.**

She chuckled at the surprise and the useless fact before chucking the cell onto the passenger seat. Edward's smug face smirked at her from the sidewalk and she rolled down her window just before she set off.

"I hate apples!" was the their last goodbye as she revved the engine and pulled out of the lot.

* * *

Sorry for the unusual wait, I've been in and out of town over the past three weeks. Remember, this is mainly BPOV so we aren't privy to Edward and Angela's private conversations. Bella's going back to Forks...and Sue's waiting. The next update will be in two days.


	9. Choking Diner

Refunded, Darling

_Choking Diner_

A blast of warmth washed over Bella as she stepped over the threshold of the Swan home; the heady scent of Sue's renowned and much-loved berry cobbler mingled with her senses and drew a contented, breathy sigh from her lips. The gentle click of the lock that sounded as she closed the door behind her did not go unnoticed as Sue's oven-warmed face peered out from behind the staircase, the dishrag slung over shoulder slipping as she craned her neck.

Her mother's curiosity was replaced by a well-meaning concern and a touch of frustration as she watched her drop her duffel onto the last stair. It was the same _deserved_ mix of frustration and worry that Bella had been subject to after knocking herself out on First Beach after a dare from Jacob's friends, a frustration that her often rebellious and rash nature stirred within Sue on several occasions.

"Something smells good," Bella dared to speak as Sue removed the dishrag and curled it around her hand.

"Just like your father," Sue rolled her eyes and moved her hands to her hips; Bella knew it was her state of avoidance that rubbed Sue the wrong way, and it usually resulted in either Charlie or her getting an earful at some later date.

"I thought you were going to be here earlier," Sue's tone conveyed an interest that wouldn't have bothered Bella if she hadn't something to hide.

"I woke up late," she tried to feign nonchalance and stepped further towards the kitchen.

"Not so fast, Kid," Sue's arm blocked the kitchen doorway.

In an attempt to avoid the usual bitter words that would be traded if she wasn't compliant, she shuffled over to the couch and settled into the cushions ready to face Sue's wrath. It wasn't something she wanted to have to sit through, especially as a harsh bout of heartburn flared in her chest, but the sooner she could appease her overprotective mother the better.

The well-worn couch accommodated her body a lot more comfortably than her Coupe had, and she groaned a sigh of relief as the niggling ache in her back subsided for the moment. She toed her Converse off her feet and propped them on the surface of the coffee table, nudging a pile of fishing magazines aside as Sue dropped herself into the armchair opposite the hearth.

Bella allowed Sue a few moments to compose the argument she had probably been constructing since Bella had sobbed down the phone; plump fingers rested against a weathered brow and Bella shifted her eyes to the floor at the guilt she felt for having exhausted her mother once more.

"You really scared me this weekend," Sue admitted, as she massaged her temple with flour- specked hands.

"I scared myself," Bella mumbled, fumbling with the hem of her tee as she tried to busy the itching need to soothe the nervous trembling of her hands.

"Baby…I understand you're hormonal and that this wasn't your life plan, but you _can't_ keep doing this."

"I know," Bella swallowed thickly.

"Do you?" Sue lifted her head from her palm and stared straight at her, imploring her to meet her eyes, "because you keep pushing the limits, Kid; I'm always waiting for the next call to rip this family apart."

"Don't say that," Bella pleaded; the memory was still too fresh, incoherent sobs, her father's voice attempting to wrestle the phone from her distraught mother…the worst day of her life.

"I have to say this, Bella! It's not going to get through to you any other way!"

"I got it," Bella promised, remembering the unadulterated fear and guilt that had slammed into her like a wrecking ball after realizing who Edward really was.

"I want to be so proud of you for doing this, I _am_ proud of you…but running away, crossing the boundaries of the law…you make me want to tear my hair out over and over again; you can't do that to a baby, you have to accept the limits for what they are, or you'll end up hurting someone other than yourself."

"You know I only went to Arizona because I had to work - I didn't run away."

"We knew that," Sue spoke for both Charlie and herself, "and we also knew you needed space…we all needed it, but you cut yourself off for a long while…"

"No one in this house was speaking!" Bella threw her hands up in frustration, "it was like _everyone_ had died and I was living in a morgue."

"And then we have one fight, _one,_ and the next thing I know, you're driving three hours into the wrong side of the law - you could have found _anyone _out there," Sue's chest was heaving, "I was so close to getting Charlie to call up SPD and have them drag you home - I can't tell you what went through my mind when you told me you were staying _overnight_…"

"I'm sorry," Bella offered, dropping her forehead into a clammy palm, "really."

Sue reclined into the armchair after a long silence and exhaled a long, exaggerated breath.

"_I'm_ sorry for making you feel like you had no one else to turn to. If I had kept my head and taken the time to listen to your needs, then maybe we could have avoided all of this heartache."

The timer on the stove rang through the house and Bella was thankful for the short respite as Sue detached herself from the situation and left to remove the cobbler from the heat. Her fingers still trembled something chronic as her earlier conversation with Edward played like a broken record in the back of her mind. It was a surprise that Sue hadn't called her out on her perpetual fidgeting and incessant lip-biting; she had inherited Charlie's inability to conceal the weakest of lies and secrets.

She pushed herself up from the couch and followed Sue into the kitchen, her mouth watering at the crisp, sweet smell of baked pastry and sugared berries. The smell failed to dissipate the familiar unease swimming in her gut and she leaned against one of the counters with a heavy heart as she watched Sue place the dessert onto a cooling rack.

_I'm always waiting for the next call…_

Memories of nights spent sobbing her heart out on Sue's shoulder flitted through her mind one after the other in a random, sporadic succession, like a short film of her most vulnerable moments. Flashes of dejection and pain, embarrassment and fear; they all culminated into one lasting image - Sue wrapping her arms around her and forgiving, beyond all blame and reason.

_You can't keep doing this…_

"Mom?"

Her voice was unusually quiet, the same shy, worried tone that she had used throughout her childhood after breaking a vase or failing a test. A voice she reserved for moments when she failed to recognize any hope for a good outcome.

"What have you done this time?" Sue remained with her back facing towards her, a sign that she was bracing herself for the blow Bella would deal; she realized that her nerves had been a dead give away after all.

"Promise not to yell?"

"Christ, Kid…" Sue's elbows bowed a little as she sank against the counter.

"I'm sorry -"

"Just spit it out, Bella."

"He knows."

Bella flinched as Sue whipped the counter with the dishrag in frustration; it barely missed the cobbler and cracked through the room with a fury that could not be vocalized. Sue braced herself against the counters until the few composing breaths she inhaled were calming enough for her to be able to address the situation at hand.

"Do I need to call the attorney?" she asked evenly.

Bella shook her head but realized it was redundant when Sue turned to her for an audible response.

"I don't think so -"

"You don't think so?"

"I don't know," Bella swiped a hand through her hair and clenched her fingers to grab the strands in an attempt to ground something, "he wants to be involved."

"Absolutely not!" Sue's hands cemented themselves on her hips, "did you tell him that?!"

Bella panicked and she felt herself nodding in a quick-fire attempt to soothe the fear that pinched at her Mother's brow.

"He still wants to be involved; I tried to push him away but he practically begged me, Mom-"

"And this is what you want?" Sue shrugged her shoulders sharply, her lips set into a firm line, "I suppose his girlfriend wants in on this ready-made family as well?" she pressed without pause for an answer.

"He wants us to get to know each other and his girlfriend wants him to try."

"Oh, how saintly of her."

"I think I want him to try," Bella admitted out loud; Sue's stiffening did not go unnoticed and she gulped against the tension in her throat as her stomach churned.

"We can want as much as we like in this life, it doesn't mean we'll always get what we ask for," Sue warned her. "And as soon as this gets complicated it'll be too easy to pretend you never even existed and he'll be gone; or they'll marry and the baby will be a second-rate inconvenience to their own children-"

"Is that what I am to you?"

"Do you even have to ask that?" Sue snapped back, "think before you speak, Child - you're piling the wood for the bonfire and he'll be the first to burn it to the ground when he doesn't get what he wants."

"Would you have stopped my donor from contacting me?" Bella dared to ask; the topic of her birth mother had been a taboo subject ever since she had learned of Sue's non-biological connection to her all of those years ago. She knew next to nothing of the former Mrs Swan who had abandoned her with Charlie no less than two weeks after her birth.

"This isn't the same,"Sue said, refusing to acknowledge the painful similarity of their situation, "but then again, what do I know? Most of the teachings I instilled in you get thrown back in my face time and time again, and my opinion ends up counting for nothing."

The small tears were beginning to show, and Bella knew the conversation was not only painful for both parties, but heading for disaster. It seemed as though every decision regarding her future with the baby was always fraught with trouble and strife. She had never expected to have to deal with all of this at the tender age of twenty-three.

The conversation dwindled and Bella thought that the discussion was over as Sue reached for a spatula and began dividing the cobbler. That was until she uttered the five words that Bella never imagined would come from her stoic, non-negotiable mother.

"I want to meet him."

"But-"

"Everybody deserves a chance in this world; that man gave us Tia. I refuse to believe anything that could make something so sweet could be a monster…I want to meet him."

"I'll see if we can sort something out," Bella offered gently, still unsure of the sudden change of heart.

"I'm calling the attorney tonight and getting advice about this whole situation," Sue warned her, "and I'm telling your father as soon as he gets home from work."

"Not tonight!" Bella pleaded, "please, let me tell him in my own time."

"I want him to vet this guy," Sue shook her head, "I want every last gritty detail."

"And I'll agree to that, but not yet…let me get to know him before we run him off?"

"You get two weeks, and then I want him standing in front of me, and then we'll see how much he wants this."

"Fine," Bella acquiesced, knowing this was as close as Sue would bargain to.

"Fine," Sue repeated, passing Bella a slice of cobbler that was double her usual portion.

The rest of the evening passed with relative ease and both Charlie and Seth's appearances lightened Bella's mood as they hugged her to within an inch of her life. She helped dish up dinner and clear away the table after bolognaise, chased Seth with a face-wipe, and helped the little boy to bed after his eyes began to droop in front of the TV set.

She curled up on the sofa after weaving a string of goofy stories together and sending off Seth to the land of slumber, watching an aimless TV program until Sue perched beside her and pulled her against her shoulder. She smoothed a comforting hand through her hair and kissed the crown of her head; this was forgiveness at its finest.

* * *

Although Charlie's attention had been focused upon the newspaper he held in his hands, Bella had a distinct suspicion that he had been throwing her glances that he must have imagined were highly inconspicuous. The tell-tale curl of the top of the newspaper's pages alerted her of his spying as her cell vibrated with another text; she ignored him for the moment, and opened her latest message.

**EdwardC:**

**GTKM Fact fifteen: When I was twelve, I had my first kiss…and also my first punch in the face from a girl; it must have sucked.**

"Who's got you smilin' so early?" Charlie finally gruffed, folding his paper and tossing it onto the free couch cushion beside him.

"Just a friend," Bella exited the messenger screen and tucked the cell into her pocket, artfully trying to dodge Charlie's piqued interest. However, Charlie's cop senses must have been tingling because he pressed the matter a little more as she tried to brush it off.

"Seems like you've had a smile for that phone every day," he noted, "not seen you like this since that Cheney kid."

"Are you ever going to call him Ben?" Bella rolled her eyes; Charlie had never referred to any of her boyfriends by their given names and Ben had been 'Cheney' for the two years that they had dated, sometimes even 'Chichi'.

"Anyone I know?" Charlie fished again.

"God, Dad," Bella groaned, "he's just a …friend?" even she seemed unsure of herself as she trailed off and let her mind mull over some of the pointless yet often funny messages she had received over the past week. Edward was still an enigma to her, a little less a stranger, yet nothing more than a mere acquaintance at that moment in time.

"_He_?" Charlie emphasised, "and you don't sound so convinced," he muttered, pretending to focus his attention on the TV set.

"Oh, give over," Bella chuckled, "haven't you got anything better to do than to quiz me over my _non-existent_ love life?" she teased, "Mafia in Forks? Drive by shooting at The Lodge?"

"I'll have you know I caught a punk doing one twenty in a thirty zone last night," Charlie bantered back.

**"**Whoa, look out Detroit, Forks is coming for you!"

"Are you ready, Kid?" Sue called from upstairs as both she and Charlie quietly chuckled to themselves. Bella had been roused from sleep by Sue - despite having set an alarm for herself - for her morning sonogram with Dr. Gerandy at Forks General. She had been fed, watered and dressed an hour and a half before their appointment and Bella was a little resentful that she hadn't been able to sleep for a little longer. It was the only reason she was awake and trading jokes with Charlie at eight am in the morning rather than sleeping in late.

"I'm ready!" Seth's heavy footfalls charged down the staircase and tripped over the last step, sending him flying across the hall and narrowly missing the radiator as he caught himself on all fours.

"Shi..-take mushrooms!" Bella caught her blaring curse as the shock registered in her mind.

"No running in the house, Seth!" Charlie boomed his age-old reprimand that never seemed to be heeded; the little boy had too much expendable energy and he seemed to want to run everywhere. Seth muttered a woeful "sorry, Pops" and sidled over to Bella in the armchair with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks.

"It's okay, Bud," she soothed, "I fell over in front of three hundred people once," she told him, remembering the awful moment she tripped on her high school graduation stage and face-planted the temporary construction before she was even able to accept her diploma.

"That's a lot of people," Seth's eyes widened, to him, anything over twenty was like infinity; twenty dollars was usually looked upon as a million and Seth would treasure it for months before wanting to blow it all on plastic toy heroes.

"Oh gosh, Leah almost went into labor over that!" Charlie chuckled, as he too replayed the memory in his head.

"Yeah," Bella smiled wistfully, a little jolted by Charlie's ease in regards to talking about Leah.

"Hey, Pops," Seth tried to attract Charlie's attention.

"Yes, Son?"

"I get to see Belly's baby today!" he cheered, dancing on the spot.

"Ain't that fabulous," Charlie gruffed, turning to Bella with narrowed eyes, "have you been letting him watch that Geek programme again?"

"You mean _Glee_?" Bella smirked.

"Whatever," Charlie grumbled, "he needs to stop copying that sissy dancing-"

"Ah, give the kid a break, we all know he isn't destined to be Billy Elliot - let him get it out of his system before he realizes he has two left feet like the rest of us," Bella shrugged it off.

As soon as Sue was ready, Bella and Seth said their goodbyes to Charlie and the trio walked to the nearest bus stop despite Bella's pleas to hop into the Coupe. Seth was all for a cruise in Bella's car but Sue was a little more hesitant. And as soon as it looked like Bella would send her into shock, she stopped pressing the matter and gave in to Sue's original plan to catch the bus. Even public transport unnerved the stoic woman, and she clung to Bella's hand for the entire journey, numbing her fingers in a response to her raw fear.

Bella signed in at the reception desk and waited for her name to be called before trudging her way to Dr. Gerandy's office with Sue and Seth in tow. Her cell buzzed once as she greeted her new OB and she ignored it as she was led over to the table.

"It's lovely to meet you, Isabella, I see you brought some visitors?"

"Yeah, this is my Mom and my brother," she explained, much to his amusement as he surveyed the differences between the three.

"Lovely to meet you all, and now**,** if you could take a seat," he motioned to the spare chairs, looking back down at the file in his hand. Dr. Gerandy was a pleasant man who seemed a whole lot more invested in his patients than her OB in Arizona had ever been. Seth's eyes were glued to her stomach for the entire session and by the time Dr. Gerandy was finished taking external measurements, it was time for the actual sonogram.

She would never get used to the cool glaze of gel spread across her abdomen, even if Dr. Gerandy used half as much as her previous doctor. As the first flicker of the black and white image appeared on the small screen, the familiar pang of guilt and loss settled in her chest and burned a tension that threatened to blur her eyes with watery tears. Every scan she'd had since Leah's death had been a quick affair with no real emotion allowed to surface. It had been pushed down to avoid the impending arrival of a life that she had no idea how to care for.

In the light of recent events, Bella managed to persuade herself to look at the various parts that Dr. Gerandy pointed out - hands and feet, arms, legs…grainy images that she usually glanced at as her eyes roamed the room, but never fully invested herself in. The image on the screen seemed so much more like a baby now, and she struggled to remember at what stage she had last allowed herself to really look at the child that resided in her womb.

"We're looking at a healthy 3.5lbs at the moment, expect that to double over the next seven weeks," Gerandy informed her as he moved the doppler over the baby's head.

"It's got a big head, Belly," Seth whispered from Sue's lap.

"Hey," Bella craned her neck to frown at him, "that's my kid you're talkin' about."

Seth squealed an uncontrollable giggle and the whole room erupted in laughter, earning a few peels from not only the family but Dr. Gerandy himself.

It was hard to disguise the sharp hitch of her breath as the steady thrum of the baby's heartbeat echoed through the room in a gentle cadence; it was as though she had finally tuned in to that radio station that always seemed out of range, and she was finally able to bear witness to a raw, ethereal treasure.

Bella had never allowed her to invest much interest in the baby in fear of forming an attachment or a bond that she would be unable to overcome. Although Leah and Bella would never admit it out loud, it was only natural that they both feared the complex nature of human emotion and feeling in their delicate situation. Even after Leah's death, Bella distanced herself from the pregnancy and continued to go about daily life until one idle Tuesday in Arizona when a tiny limb nudged at her right side for the first time.

_"Hey, that's my skin, Kid."_

She had sounded so much like her mother in that moment and it had scared her half to death.

"Momma, Belly's crying," Seth's worried voice announced.

"She's okay, Baby," Sue smiled down at him, "everything's just falling into place."

"She's happy?" Seth asked, a little unconvinced as she raised her fingertips to wipe away the few tears she hadn't even realized she'd let go of.

"Very happy, Bud," Bella turned her head to flash him a megawatt smile.

"Would we like to know the sex today?" Dr. Gerandy asked.

"Nah," Bella declined, "Seth and I have a little wager going on and I'm giving him some time to save up, so he can pay up when I win."

"Ah, starting the gambling young I see," Dr. Gerandy chuckled, much to Sue's dismay; Bella had bet with Seth for years and he had a nice little jar of one dollar bills from their many wagers that Bella had a knack for losing.

"But I could get a head start on my knitting if we found out," Sue tried to persuade her.

"And that's what I'm afraid of," Bella snorted, earning herself a small whack to the shoulder.

"Pictures?"

"Please," Bella nodded, "two if you could."

She was aware of Sue's brow raising in question of her demand but pushed the awkwardness to the back of her mind as Dr. Gerandy handed her a towel so she could wipe the gel off of her stomach.

"So her blood pressure's nothing to worry about?" Sue asked, as Bella curled the elasticized part of her pants over the curve of her lower abdomen.

"As I said, it's borderline, I would like to think it's only gestational at the moment; there aren't any proteins in the urine sample and her blood work is clear," he turned to Bella who looked a little concerned at Sue's worry. "I recommend you keep going about as you are doing, we'll amp up the visits to every two weeks from now on and we'll keep checking your urine samples. But at the moment everything is fine."

"It's just…she's been under a lot of stress recently and I was worried…"

"All I can advise is that you eliminate as many stress factors as you can," Dr. Gerandy handed her the sonogram pictures, "but don't dwell on it, a little stress is healthy."

Once they were home, Charlie allowed Seth to lecture him on the sonogram picture and he recited all of the information that both she and Sue had told him on the return bus journey. While both Charlie and Sue were occupied with their respective tasks, she reached into her pocket and flicked through her phone until she found the unopened text that she'd received at the hospital.

**EdwardC:**

**I hope everything went well today.**

She had been kind enough to inform him of her appointment through the few texts she allowed herself to send; a little uncomfortable texting him while Angela still refused to speak to her.

He held fast in his promise to allow her to get to know him and her cell was full of little intimate details that helped her to paint a picture of the man she had known for only one week. He had celebrated a birthday four weeks before she met him; he had two siblings and a nephew; was a native of Chicago, knew how to juggle and his middle name was Anthony.

He was still nothing more than a friendly acquaintance but it was a work in progress and she supposed other people weren't so fortunate as she was in that moment.

**Everything was perfectly normal.**

**-B**

" - no, it's not!" Seth's frustrated huff pulled her out of her reverie.

"Lower your voice, Son," Charlie warned him as he took the sonogram picture from the little boy; his finger's had curled in response to his anger and he'd bent the corner of the picture.

"Belly," Seth turned to her with watery, doe eyes.

"Oh, don't go looking for sympathy," Charlie gruffed, "apologize to your sister."

"No," Seth crossed his arms and slammed his back against the couch.

"Fine, timeout," Charlie pointed to the staircase, "you don't move your butt until I say so."

"No!" Seth shouted.

"He's cranky, Dad, he got up early-"

"_Timeout_," Charlie ignored her and used his 'cop-stare' on the unmoved little boy.

"What's going on in here?" Sue joined the fray and looked between Seth's stoic form on the couch and Charlie's pointed finger.

"Timeout's not going so well," Bella mumbled.

"I'm gonna count to three and your butt better be on those stairs," Charlie warned, "One…two…th-"

"Fine!" Seth waited until the final second before shoving past everyone, "I hate that stupid baby!"

Even though Seth's words were a product of his overly tired frustration and would more than likely be forgotten the next day, Bella couldn't help but to feel hurt by the sudden shift in Seth's feelings towards the baby; he had been the most excited out of everyone that she knew.

"What was that about?" Bella turned to her father.

"You tell me," he grumped, "I said it looked like a boy and he didn't like it."

"Well, if you didn't argue with him," Sue chipped in.

"He shouldn't be so darn sensitive all the time," Charlie quipped back.

Bella could feel the storm brewing and she wasn't willing to be caught in the middle of the crossfire; the sonogram picture was the least of her worries as Charlie and Sue began to argue in the living room, and she turned to the staircase where Seth sat with his palms pressed to his ears.

"C'mon, Bud," Bella nudged him with her knee, "grab your coat."

"I'm in timeout," he mumbled as Charlie and Sue took their shouting match to the kitchen.

"Not anymore, come on, we're going to the diner."

"The Diner? Can I get a cheeseburger?" his eyes widened in expectation.

"Whatever you want, let's ditch this joint," she joked as he scrambled for his coat.

"I'm sorry, Belly," he apologized as they ambled over to the Coupe.

"S'alright," she sighed, "put your seatbelt on."

"I don't like it when Momma and Pops shout," he mumbled, as he stared out of the passenger-side window, Forks whizzing by in blurs of brown and green.

"Nobody does, Bud" she replied, pulling into the diner parking lot.

They trudged inside hand in hand, Bella ready to lead the way to her usual booth until Seth's squeal halted her in her tracks.

"Uncle Jake!"

Seth's hand slipped from hers and she cringed as he tore through the diner and slammed into the figure in the far booth.

"C'mon Bud," Bella ignored Jake as she tugged Seth's arm, unable to remove him from Jake's hip, "we'll go to The Lodge instead."

"No," Seth whined and wrapped his arms around Jake's neck.

"Uncle Jake's busy," Bella avoided her brother-in-law's gaze and attempted to tug Seth on the back of his shirt again.

"He's eatin' and we're eatin'!" Seth pointed to the half-eaten plate of food in Jake's spot, and she sighed in frustration; if Jake hadn't been so absent she would have found it easier to argue with the young boy.

"It's alright," Jake finally gruffed, setting Seth back onto the floor and nudging him into the booth.

"No it's not," Bella hissed, "you'll have him missing you again, and I can't stand by and watch you ruin everything he's tried to build back up."

"Chill, Bells," Jake's words smoothed over her hiss.

"Chill?" she repeated with a furrowed brow, "you're seriously telling me to _chill_?"

"Just get in the booth, B, people are staring."

True to his word, the many regulars that they had grown up with were spying on the threesome, drinks halted mid-air, forks abandoned, as both she and Jake stood off against one another. She reluctantly tucked herself into the booth and shot the waitress a frosty glare as her eyes lingered for longer than she would have liked; she wasn't an attraction for the world to fawn over.

Seth chuckled as he stole a handful of fries from Jake's plate and stuffed them into his mouth before the older man could notice.

**"**Whoa**,**" Jake blurted, as Seth began to choke, "take it easy, Sport," he warned, slapping him on the back.

"Eugh," Seth moaned as he gained his breath back.

"That'll teach you for stealing someone else's food," Bella said.

"You steal mine!"

"That's the baby's fault," Bella argued back, "it's like 'F_eed me! Feed me'_!" she squealed, tickling his ribs.

"Stupid baby," Seth rolled his eyes as the laughter died on his lips.

"Will you quit calling the baby stupid," Bella asked him, "you're gonna give him a complex."

"Him?" Jake's interest piqued.

"No, _her_," Seth corrected her, "it's a _girl_."

"We don't know what it is," she answered Jake's confused look.

"I do," Seth said as he snatched another fry.

"He's gonna be so bummed when it's a boy," Bella sighed, forgetting that she was supposed to be feigning anger at the man who had dropped her into her current situation. She had fallen into the friendly 'I've-known-you-for-years' routine and it was oddly comforting.

When tears began to fall down Seth's face she immediately felt awful and tried to dab his cheeks with one of the free napkins, only to have her hands slapped away by one exhausted little tyrant.

"Hey," Jake intervened, gently pulling Seth's chin upward, "don't hit your sister."

Seth narrowed his eyes at Bella and flicked his gaze to the floor as Jake stared him down.

"What's going on with you, Bud?" Bella sighed as Seth began to kick his feet against the booth seat, "why are you so upset that the baby could be a boy?"

"Boys are cool, Seth," Jake attempted to help, "we're boys and we're awesome."

"No!" Seth repeated his favourite word of the moment, "boys are horrible!"

"A bit melodramatic and a tad hypocritical but I'll take it," Bella sighed resignedly.

"Tia was a girl," Seth huffed.

Bella fidgeted uncomfortably and noticed Jake tense at the mention of Tia.

"Yes she was," Jake agreed with him slowly.

"I loved Tia," Seth continued to speak, "she played action men and jumped in mud."

Jake chuckled at the memories.

"She sure did," he nodded, turning to look at Bella for an uncomfortable moment, "and she loved her Uncle Seth."

"She did?" Seth looked up at him.

"Of course she did!" Jake plastered on a smile for him, "she wanted to be just like you…all the time."

"That's why I want the baby to be a girl," Seth admitted, "one like Tia."

"Oh, Buddy," Bella sighed, "Tia was very special, nobody can be as good as our Tia," she trailed off as Jake's eyes glassed over.

"But I miss her," Seth began to cry again.

"I do too," Jake pulled him into his side and stroked his hair comfortingly, "I do too."

The trio remained in the booth for a long while; Jake ordered for them both and Bella finally managed to finish her first garden burger since her arrival back in Forks. As much as the situation warranted certain apologies and a certain forgiveness, both Bella and Jake put aside their feelings for the few hours they were together, and each regaled Seth with silly stories from their childhood, and memories of Seth as a tiny baby.

He was intrigued by the mention of the portion of his life that he could not remember, and Bella chuckled fondly at the "I did not's" when either she or Jake would tell him something embarrassing that he had done.

As the evening drew to a close, Jake brushed the crumbs from the front of Seth's jacket and hoisted the sleepy boy onto his hip to help Bella get him in the Coupe. Her cell had stayed silent for the entirety of the night and it seemed as though Sue wasn't worried by their sudden disappearance.

"Thanks for tonight," she said to Jake as he buckled the boy into the back seat, "he really enjoyed himself…well, when he wasn't snotting all over the booth."

"It's alright," Jake straightened himself up, "I miss the little guy."

"He misses you," she replied, "we _all_ miss you."

"It's just not the same," Jake admitted, as he leaned against the Coupe.

"Of course it is," Bella shrugged, "Seth's still Buzz Lightyear, Sue and Charlie are…well, Sue and Charlie and I'm just me, just a fatter version I suppose."

Jacob smiled a weak smile and scratched the back of his neck as the awkwardness seeped into the conversation.

"So, uh - are you keeping him," he asked, watching the way she smoothed a reassuring hand over the ridge of her bump.

She nodded in confirmation and slowed her strokes.

"Yeah," she smiled, "I like to think I have Leah's blessing."

"Of course you do," Jake rolled his eyes all-knowingly, "you know she gave you everything."

"I know," Bella sniffed, "but it's nice to hear you say it."

"Then I'll say it again," Jacob smiled a little more enthusiastically, "you're gonna be a great Mom, and Leah wouldn't have allowed anyone else to do what you're doing."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Jake nodded.

"Good," Bella nodded as she wiped her eyes dry.

"I, um - I was doing some clearing out the other day…I was going to come over but I didn't know if you'd want to see me or not..."

"You know you're welcome anytime," she reassured him.

"There's boxes of Tia's baby stuff packed up; and her crib is still going strong," Jake explained, "if you want any of it for the little one…"

"That'd be great," she smiled up at him, "honestly."

"Great, yeah - great," Jake nodded awkwardly, "I can drop it off sometime next week," he offered.

"Cool," Bella smiled, "Charlie and Sue would love to see you."

"Yeah…"

"Don't be a stranger," she reminded him before pulling him into a difficult embrace.

"I'm surprised you can stand up straight, Kid."

"Yeah, laugh it up," she grinned as she walked over to the driver's side door, "in seven weeks this deflates, you'll have to run your gut off."

"Get in the car, Bells, before I knuckle sandwich you."

Her laughter followed her into the Coupe and she looked over at the sleeping boy tucked into her back seat.

For the moment it seemed that life was finally looking up.

* * *

Apparently I have been nominated to stand in the 'Fic of the week' polls on The Lemonade Stand - thank you to those responsible for this! This little story is up against some big names, so it's lovely that it's even managed to make it amongst some amazing work; if you have the time to spare, I would love for you to vote!

There was a hiccup with the first upload of this chapter and words were strung together with no spaces, I had to painstakingly go through the whole document again to rectify the upload issue; sorry for double e-mails.

It's so hard to be mad at someone you've loved your entire life; Jake did a terrible thing but it's slowly bringing them all back together.

It came to my attention (through the love of you dear readers) that I need a more concrete updating schedule; ask and you shall receive! Updates will now occur every** Monday & Friday** of each week. Thank you to all those of you who have recc'd this and taken the time to review, you make all of this worth it! I would also like to thank my newly appointed beta SUNFLOWER3759 for her amazing work on this chapter.


	10. Driftwood Forts

Refunded, Darling

_Driftwood Forts_

A week of rain-blurred days, shrouded by sleepless nights and decaffeinated mornings passed in a gray and tiring fashion, exhaustive in their predictability, yet comforting in their familiarity. Each day was punctuated by sidelong glances across the kitchen and living room, inconspicuous to the plaid-shirted husband and father slumped in his usual seat.

Bella's sudden attachment to her cell had roused suspicion and she was acutely aware of the invisible hourglass that Sue had turned almost two weeks before. The intimate snippets of information exchanged between Edward and herself had increased alongside their growing web of friendship, and he too had made it clear that he desired something beyond the digital print that often brought a smile to her face.

**EdwardC:**

**GTKM Fact Thirty Eight: My blood type is O negative; blood banks are in love with me.**

**My schedule's free tomorrow, work has been slow.**

**- E.**

She hadn't responded to the text that she had received earlier that morning and had left her cell in her bedroom to avoid the prying eyes of her parents. It was odd how she now felt like she was more sixteen, than she had seven years ago when she was skipping classes and ignoring her nighttime curfew.

"Have you thought about what I said?" Sue sidled up to her seat at the kitchen table, while she used a fork to slide around the food on her plate. Charlie had left for the station only a few minutes earlier, and she'd wasted no time in pressing Bella for information again; Bella had become a closed book in regards to Sue's excessive prying and it had irked her to no end.

"He's free tomorrow," Bella finally relented, dropping her fork to the tabletop as she pushed the leftovers of her breakfast away.

"Seth has a play-date with Brady tomorrow, set something up," Sue replied off-handedly, returning to the stove to dither with the crumble she was making for her church group. Sue's fleeting demand belied the hesitation both she and her mother felt at the prospect of inviting Edward into the most private part of their lives; their hometown, their home.

Suddenly, the thought was entirely too intimate and the little, cozy home she'd loved through its rags and riches was closed off to any potential meeting she would have with Edward.

Past haunts tumbled over one another in her mind; a sloppy cacophony of diners, coffee shops and harbour side restaurants that she knew as intimately as the back of her hand. A memory of Douglas firs and Redwood alder braided itself among the fleeting images in her mind's eye and the soft thrum of comfort it brought to her heart sealed the question of where. It was a home from home and like a comfort blanket, the security of its familiar surroundings would ease the tension that was inevitable in their given situation.

"How about Sequim?" Bella asked, clutching the coffee mug in her hands a little tighter.

"Why would we go that far?" Sue responded with a frown.

"It's a half-way point for all of us," Bella shrugged and sipped her coffee, "I know neither of us is comfortable bringing him back here."

"That's a lot of buses, Kid," she shook her head, "It'll take us hours to get there."

"Not if I drive," Bella dared to suggest the thought that had been lingering in the back of her mind; Sue's face paled.

"If we get up early enough, we could catch the bus on route fourteen and be in Port Angeles for ten," Sue ignored her suggestion and turned back to sprinkling sugar atop the crumble.

"You're gonna have to get in the car someday, Mom," Bella soothed, knowing that her mother's sudden, jittery movements were foreign to her natural, self-assured stance on life; it killed her to watch Sue fall victim to the fear.

"Your father and I did it once when the cruiser went in for repairs; you threw-up in the picnic hamper halfway down route thirty. Shouldn't take more than two hours if we're lucky."

"Mom-"

"Oh, It'll be lovely this time of the year, we could go to the spit," Sue mused, ignoring Bella's lame efforts to convince her otherwise.

It was fruitless trying to change her mother's already made-up mind. The tell-tale burn of frustration tightened in her chest as Sue continued to impart Sequim fact from the years worth of vacation memories they had of the idyllic, backwater town.

"Am I a fool for allowing this?" Sue questioned herself out-loud, turning to Bella with a momentary doubt; the attorney had been hesitant in their last call.

"No more than I am for actively seeking it out," Bella replied.

"Are you insulting me?" Sue asked, as she attempted to run through the rings in her head, "you know you're still a candidate for a clipped ear under this roof."

"I know, Dad got me the other day," she chuckled; Seth was still reeling from the fake spider she'd slipped under his duvet.

"We should have told Charlie by now."

"I know," Bella teased her teeth over her bottom lip, "but you know how he gets…"

Sue was unusually quiet as she replaced the lid to the sugar canister and put the dish of crumble into the refrigerator. Bella knew that the secret Sue harbored for her was a burden, especially when the secret had to be kept from her husband who already had his suspicions. Any fallout in the future would not only be put upon her own shoulders, but those of her mother, who hadn't actually anything to do with her own selfish actions.

Charlie was renowned for being a hard-ass when it came down to his daughters, especially with Bella considering Leah had dated Jake from the age of fifteen. In Charlie's eyes, Bella was still the coffee-eyed six-month old that pulled at his mustache and giggled until she was blue in the face; and he was always hesitant to distance himself from that.

"Thank you for coming with me," Bella proffered her thanks; getting Sue to leave Forks was a feat in itself, but getting her to meet the man who had helped give life to her grandchild was an effort that she was not obligated to undertake.

"Look, Kid," she warned, "I don't want you to get your hopes up about this; it's not my intention to go and welcome him with open arms."

"I know," Bella assured her, "I don't expect you to."

"I think you do, deep down," Sue shook her head, "you might be looking out for his feelings in all of this, but I'm the one who's got yours. I won't have anyone steamroll you into doing something that you might regret ten years down the line."

"Don't _say_ stuff like that," Bella whined as her eyes welled, "you know my hormones can't take it!"

"Oh, I can't wait to see you postpartum," Sue teased.

"I'll come for you first," Bella threatened, "snot and all."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

Once again, Bella's alarm became redundant when she felt a weight drop onto the right side of her mattress; breathy giggles escaped a hand over mouth and she pretended to sleep through the disturbance. However, the tiny fingers that slipped under her duvet and teased her ribs elicited a sharp scream and giggle from her, and she had to swat Seth's hands away before the urge to pee made her wet herself. Ever since her practical joke had sent the six-year old screaming down the wooden hill, Bella had been subjected to his sub-par retaliations, and she had to admit that she was regretting the prank as the early light of dawn shone in her face.

"Stop, I'm up!" she breathed through the pressure on her bladder.

"Momma's got toast and juice ready," Seth told her with a toothy grin, "she made extra for your belly."

"You callin' me fat?" she turned to Seth with a fake scowl.

"Noooo…" Seth's eyes bugged out.

"I think you did," she teased, hands on hips.

"I'm just gonna go," he said, slipping off the bed.

"Yeah, skidaddle," Bella called, as he high-tailed it out of her bedroom.

She met Charlie in the hall and he gruffed a tired "Hello", kissing her on the crown of her head before ambling down the staircase. The sound of clinking plates and cutlery echoed from the lower floor and the smell of Charlie's breakfast bacon lingered in the air; she was the last to have risen.

"…he was supposed to go to Brady's but Maggie just called, he's come down with the stomach flu overnight," Sue was saying as Bella traipsed into the kitchen in her bathrobe.

"So? Take him with you to Sequim, he'd love the spit," Charlie replied, removing the sports section from the newspaper and casting it aside; Bella had already Tivo'd last night's Mariner's game for him and he had yet to find out they'd lost.

"Brady's sick?" Bella asked as she settled herself at the table.

"Yeah…_hey_, why aren't you dressed?! We're leaving in thirty!" Sue exclaimed.

"What's the hurry?" Charlie gruffed, "the buses are every hour."

Neither women were ever adept in the art of excuse, and both flailed for something to say until Seth's sneeze exploded through the room.

"Whoa," Seth looked shocked with himself.

"Jake could take him for the day," Bella suggested; Jake had admitted that he missed the little boy.

"I don't know about that," Charlie warned, "Paul saw him in the bar last night and said he wasn't looking too pretty."

Bella thumbed the tie of her bathrobe as the table quieted; the family knew that they had a certain responsibility when it came down to Jake, but the morning-after burnouts were usually to be avoided.

It was finally decided that Seth would have to tag along with the girls; Bella cringed at the thought of a two-hour bus journey with a six-year old, but was comforted by the fact that Sue had already gone through the motions of the journey once before with both Leah and herself.

Edward's response to her arranged meeting had been a frantic, seemingly excited "**I'll be there**!", followed by an "**Oh shit." **She'd run out of characters in her initial text and had to delay the news of her mother joining them in a separate message that he'd received after his reply. He had called her for the first time that night, cussing and freaking out over the phone in a way that she had only witnessed in the elevator and Angela's apartment.

But this, _this_ wasn't a response to anger; this was fear and Bella knew the feeling all too well.

_"Mothers don't like people like me."_

She hadn't the heart to tell him that Sue wasn't necessarily out to 'like' him and kept quiet as he vented over the line; a rambling, incoherent mess of exhaustion. She'd coaxed him off the line sometime around one am and had fallen into an uneasy sleep, taunted by a recurrent nightmare that she couldn't seem to shrug off.

"Be down in ten," Sue ordered, as she finished her breakfast and returned to her bedroom.

She tried to slip on her Chilli's band tee only to find that her abdomen had expanded beyond its cotton limitations; her eyes were immediately drawn to the folded tee that she'd found shoved into her duffel two weeks earlier. She was certain of the fact that she'd left it in Stix's bedroom and its presence confused her, but she pulled it over her frame anyway.

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

She rolled her eyes and descended the stairs where Sue and Seth were dressed and ready to go.

"Don't blame me if the kid pops out while we're sprinting to the bus stop!" Sue warned as she glanced at her watch.

The first hour on the Clallam Transit service was hell as Bella's breakfast threatened to make a reappearance; the potholes and uneven surfacing of the roads caused the bus to jolt sporadically and the eight inch, pull-down windows barely allowed any fresh air into the body of the vehicle.

She had spent the better part of the journey with a cautious hand slipping to cover her mouth while Seth pointed out various landmarks from Sue's lap. There was a strained silence as they neared the latter part of their trip, and only Seth's excited voice made itself known over the roaring hum of a well-traveled engine.

As the fog thinned, the outline of the Olympic mountains became clear and Sue had to pry Seth's face away from the glass that was smudged with dirty fingerprints and breathy condensation. Sequim had always been a beautiful place, even under a perpetually gray sky. There was a saving grace in that it fell in the rain-shadow and was one of the driest places on the West Coast, precipitation comparable to that of LA. It was the warmest place Charlie would venture to from Forks and even then he spent most of his time fishing in the Dungeness River.

"_Don't you just love it, girls?"_

And they had.

There hadn't been time for a family vacation to Sequim after Seth's birth; Bella was busy applying to college, Leah and Jake moved up North and Sue and Charlie were attending to Seth's late night feedings and screams. Like an aged toy, Sequim had been cast aside and forgotten as the family aged and outgrew its rudimentary offerings; the beaches and the spit, lavender fields and big-leaf maple trees, all forgotten.

"Alright, this is us," Sue nudged Seth onto his feet.

The bus came to a jolting stop and Bella was glad that she'd remained in her seat before alighting.

"Is he here yet?" Sue asked her as they entered the parking-lot of a waterfront restaurant.

Bella scanned the lot for the beaten-up, burgundy Volvo but failed to find Edward waiting for them.

"He probably ran into traffic; his route's a lot busier than ours," Bella placated Sue as they entered the restaurant. Seth was complaining something chronic and Sue ordered him a burger to stop his whining as they discussed Edward's absence.

"You told him we were meeting here and not the spit, didn't you?"

"Yes, Mother," Bella rolled her eyes.

"No need to get snippy," Sue raised her brow.

"He'll be here, that's all," Bella shrugged off the need to defend Edward for the moment; you couldn't feign the excitement he'd expressed past his cursing the previous night…or so she had thought.

"Here ya' go little fella'," the waitress placed down Seth's order in front of him.

Bella was running out of excuses for Edward as forty-five minutes passed and he was still absent from the restaurant; she had called his cell, texted him, paced up and down the street, and had checked online accident reports. She had nothing to excuse his no-show and Sue's back-handed comments were beginning to grate on her.

"What did I tell you? They all talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk…"

"I got it, Mom," Bella exhaled deeply.

In, out…in, out…

"Well, I'm not waiting to order any longer; what are you having?" Sue grabbed for the menus.

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh, stop moping," Sue chastised, "pull up a menu and pick before I order us both the clam chowder."

"Vomit," Bella grimaced, "just get me the ravioli," she said, glancing over the menu before shoving it back into the holder. Her appetite really wasn't all there after the bumpy journey, and once coupled with the nerves, put her off wanting to eat for the moment.

"Fine, _one_ clam chowder," Sue sighed, "you really don't know what you're missing, Kid."

"Yeah, what's wrong with you?"

"_Edward_," Bella whipped herself around in her seat, gently catching herself on the table as her stomach refused to circumnavigate the rounded edge.

"Hi," he greeted, nervously rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, trying not to glance over at her Mom and brother who were now staring at him.

"You're late."

"Mom!" Bella cringed at her rude welcome.

"Yeah, um - the directions I printed out from the public library led me to some cliff edge half an hour from here."

"Oh, well I called you," Bella reminded him, a little put-out by the fact that he hadn't the decency to inform them that he was running late.

"Oh," he frowned, pulling his cell from his pocket, "…it's on silent," he explained.

"Never mind," Bella sighed, sliding a little to her left, "take a seat, we were just going to order."

"Who are _you_?" Seth asked Edward in a tone that Bella recognized all too quickly; Charlie had him versed to a tee.

"I'm Edward," he offered his hand for Seth to shake but Seth merely looked at it before crossing his arms over his chest. It was all very Machiavellian- the way Sue allowed her son to belittle Edward without her having to cast the first stone, and Bella knew she would be having words with her father later that evening.

"He's my friend, Seth, be nice," Bella encouraged.

"Does my Pops know you?"

"Mom, tell him he's not a cop yet, please."

"Hey, what he says is gospel at the moment," Sue declined to stop Seth's intrusive behavior.

The arrival of the waitress was the only respite Edward would get from the interrogation that hadn't even afforded him so much as a 'hello' from her family members.

"So, Edward, how old are you?" Sue asked as 'Poppy' placed a basket of bread onto the center of the table.

"Twenty-six," he answered.

"And where do you work?"

"I'm a barman at a club back in Seattle," he admitted with a little hesitancy; he had already expressed his fears to Bella over the phone and she knew that he was worried that Sue would find it an inappropriate career choice for an expectant father.

"Is it good pay?"

As much as Bella felt that Sue was being entirely too intrusive, she harbored her own element of intrigue and she knew that she would have to be privy to such detail if he was going to be a part of her child's life.

"Not really," Edward replied, "but I recently got hired at a bar and grill so it'll be an addition to whatever I make there."

"You got a second job?" Bella turned to him surprised; Jasper said that he already worked grueling hours as it was.

"Yeah, I've been sitting on the offer for a couple of weeks to see if the bar would pick up, but I guess I can't wait much longer."

"Bella did mention that Jasper hasn't been contributing to rent," Sue commended his effort, "that kid has always been a handful."

"Hmm," Edward hummed; Bella had a feeling that there was more to his second job than he was letting on but he didn't seem to want to fill Sue in on that and it confused her; why make yourself seem less valiant when given the one chance to impress?

"Did you go to college?"

"Leah didn't go to college, Mom," Bella interrupted, gently making it known that her last question wasn't really of any importance to her.

"Fine," Sue relented, but she was still determined to make Edward squirm, "Bella tells me you have a girlfriend?"

The wide-eyed panic that settled on Edward's face made Bella feel a little guilty that she'd shared so much with Sue, but the fact still stood that Edward had other commitments in his life and they were not to be glossed over.

"I do - "

"And what does she think about this whole situation?"

The fact that Edward had yet to touch his food that was brought by the waitress minutes before was a foreboding of the day left to come. It was clearly evident that Edward was trying to impress her mother, his language was no longer colorful and he'd resisted the urge to smoke over the time that they'd been seated at the restaurant, but Sue was a force to be reckoned with.

"She's supportive," Edward nodded.

"But for how long?" Sue shot back, "you have to realize that what you're asking for here is a _life-long_ commitment, if the day comes that she isn't so supportive…you have to understand our reservations here."

"Angela's not like that," Edward dismissed Sue's concern, turning to Bella, "don't use her as an excuse."

"Alright, I see we've touched a nerve," Sue raised her brow as she buttered a bread roll, "let's say this whole agreement goes through - what would you expect from Bella?"

"What do you mean?" Bella asked confusedly.

"You two kids have jumped into this without even thinking; when will visitation be? Bella lives with her father and me at the moment and you guys live three hours apart; depending on Bella's choices, the baby will be dependent on her for at least six months before overnight stays could be considered. I want to know what you want from Bella."

"Oh, well, we haven't even…uh, talked about it.." Edward trailed off awkwardly.

"Exactly," Sue placed her fork onto the table, "you coming into this whole situation complicates a lot of things."

"Leah dying complicated a lot of things," Bella retorted, finding Sue's insinuations a little too harsh; she understood her mother's point of view, she really did, but there was no need for nastiness.

"I think it's something that Bella and I have to figure out ourselves," Edward said, and by his tone, Bella knew that Sue had been quieted.

The adults finished their meal while Seth played on his DS that Sue had packed for him and Bella slipped into easy conversation with Edward over Jasper's search for employment. Sue's quiet demeanor unsettled Bella as time wore on and when Edward left the table to settle the bill, her mother's irritation came to the surface.

"Does he really think that paying a bill is going to get him in our good graces?"

"He's trying, Mom…unlike some."

"I don't need his approval," Sue reminded her as she plucked Seth's shirt away from his skin and jiggled it to remove the crumbs covering his front.

Bella and Edward trailed behind Sue and Seth as they walked a slow amble to the Dungeness Spit; Bella had convinced her mother to give Edward a breather before she forced them all to turn on one another.

"Fuck, your Mom is a hard-ass," Edward exclaimed once Sue was out of earshot.

"She's not so bad," Bella shrugged, "underneath all the formality is a wolf-loving, crocheting ball of emotion."

"She doesn't like me," he said as their path evolved into the sandy island of the spit.

"You said Mom's don't like you," she teased, "what did you expect?"

"I didn't want it to be true!" he said exasperated.

Bella chuckled and traipsed her way over to a large piece of sanded driftwood, motioning for him to join her as she perched herself on the end. The coastal breeze rouged her nose and cheeks and her thoughts were instantly drawn to the humid summers spent dragging pieces of driftwood up and down the spit to make teepee forts.

"I'm gonna bring the baby here," Bella murmured as Seth challenged the surf up ahead, running to and from the fast-moving spray.

"It's a cool place," Edward nodded, "I didn't even know it existed, I've never been further west than Seattle."

"It's swamped by retired folk but the nature reserves and trails make up for the lack of city-life," Bella explained, "we never did the holiday from home sort of thing; it was fishing in the Nessie river, hiking up to lighthouses and scraping knees on the trails…some of my best memories are of this place."

"Well, we have all the time in the world; we can bring the baby here and make new memories…raise a little nature warrior."

"But can we really?" Bella tuned-in on the doubt that lingered in her heart, "will this really work out? Angela's alright with this now, but once the baby's here things could change and I don't want to be the cause of that."

"Whatever happens, happens," Edward shrugged her concern off, "stop over thinking things."

"How can you say that?" Bella frowned at his blasé attitude.

"Because when I promise something, I mean it. This is _my kid, _and no one seems to want to put faith in me; I get it, I get that I'm some burned-out failure-"

"I don't think-"

"I'm going to be more than that sixty dollars a month, Bella," he promised, "I'm a good person and I _want_ this. People don't doubt you when you tell them that you're gonna raise the baby, even though it wasn't your first intention, but it's different for me. I'm the outsider and people expect me to want to run in the opposite direction…you want me to prove myself? Give me the chance."

His focused, hardset eyes bore into hers with a determined, stony seriousness and she could do all but quell the relief his words injected into her heart.

"I'm-"

"Shit, I made you cry," he immediately wrapped an arm over her shoulders and tugged at the ends of her wayward hair, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she sniffed, scraping the cuffs of her jacket under her eyes, "it's just…why don't people understand that they can't say stuff like that to me?"

"Did you _want_ me to tell you that I wanted to bail- out?" he looked at her like she'd lost it; perhaps she had.

"No, you Dufus," she chuckled, jabbing him in the side with her elbow, "it's all these freaking hormones that have taken over my body. I feel like E.T on earth."

"So I said the right thing?" Edward furrowed his brows and looked down at her for confirmation.

"Yeah," she breathed, "you said the right thing," she offered, and his lips soon quirked into a smile of relief.

"He's changed his tune," Edward nodded towards Seth who was giggling as Sue chased him around the shoreline.

"Blame my Dad for his bad attitude," Bella explained, "anyone who isn't family, female or forty isn't allowed to associate with me, unless approved by the Swan men. The three 'F' rule - that's why I'm hoping this little one is a boy," she admitted, gently scratching her fingertips over the taut cotton of _his_ shirt.

"Hmm," Edward smiled, "you got it then."

"You put this in my bag?"

"I know I pissed you off and that I was an ass, but you loved the shirt from the word go."

"But it's your favorite," Bella replied, still uncomfortable with the notion.

"I don't care," Edward shrugged, "it's keeping my kid warm and I wouldn't have anything less than the Chillis do that."

"I have something for you," Bella admitted as she reached for the flap of the bag that was slung over her shoulder. There had never been a debate over who the second sonogram picture was for and she passed over the grainy image with a sudden need to impress; their baby was perfect.

"Is this..?"

"It is," Bella's smile tore at the corners of her lips.

"Wow."

"I know, right?" She bit her lip as he examined the image. It was a beautiful feeling to finally accept her role in her unborn child's life, the gentle threads of excitement and unadulterated love knotting in her heart, but seeing Edward's reaction to the first sonogram picture was awing.

"This is mine to keep?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course," she nodded, "mine is on the refrigerator, next to fingerprinted pictures of a caterpillar Seth found."

"I'd like to say that's where mine is going, but Jasper still doesn't know…"

"We'll have to tell him at some point or another," Bella sighed, "I just felt uncomfortable, y'know? Leaving like that?"

"He's fine," Edward assured her, "he wanted to give you some space."

"I still owe him an explanation…and I need to apologize to Angela."

"She said the same thing about you."

"Where is she today?"

"At church - Lauren's mom refuses to leave until she's been granted prep rights, so she's had to go in and placate her."

"Does she know you're here?"

Edward nodded, and in that moment, she felt marginally uplifted.

"Good."

"Hey, Belly!" Seth came barreling towards the pair, pants dusted with sand and water stains from his adventures on the spit.

"Hey, Bud," she scuffed his hair.

"Wanna make a fort? Momma said you and Pops made one when you were little."

"Sorry Kid," Bella told him with a heavy heart, "my back's aching."

"Your back _always_ aches," he groaned.

"I can help you?" Edward offered.

"You've never made a fort before," Seth brushed him off, ignoring the olive branch that Edward was kindly extending; so much like his father, Bella noted.

"Hey, I was a boy scout," Edward informed him, "I know how to build a fort better than smelly Bella."

"I wanna be a boy scout!" Seth's eyes widened in awe at Edward's little slip of information.

"Then lead the way comrade," Edward ordered, "let's put my wilderness survival badge to good use!"

All too soon, Seth's unsavory behavior had transformed and he was running back and forth, arms laden with driftwood and twigs as Edward held their creation steady. Neither cared about their wet kneed jeans or the itchy, bitty particles of sand that stuck underneath their nails and in-between their fingers. It was a glimpse of life to come and Bella was strangely content with the sight of Edward giving his undivided attention to her younger brother.

"It's all up to you,Kid," Sue perched herself next to Bella on the driftwood, "I want to accept all of this, I really do…but you know why I'm hesitant, don't you?"

"Because you'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop," Bella nodded, "but I get him. It's just this gut feeling that I can't shake…"

"I have one of those," Sue smiled.

"You do?"

"Yes," her mother nodded, reaching out to pat her abdomen, "my grandkid is going to be gorgeous."

"It's the hair, right?"

"Oh yes," Sue smirked, "definitely the hair."

"He got a second job to support the baby," Bella explained as they continued to watch the boys pile wood into a teepee formation; Sue had to know his true intentions, Bella wasn't going to let him sabotage himself.

"I know," Sue replied, "I never said he wasn't a good man, I just want him to prove it without a shadow of a doubt."

"And how does he do that?"

"Well, for now," Sue paused, brushing the windswept strands of Bella's hair behind her ear, "we let things fall as they may."

"So you approve?"

"We're a long way from approval," Sue shook her head, "but I'm not standing in the way."

The relief that washed over her was indescribable.

"Thanks, Mom."

"That's okay, Kid."

As the afternoon cooled and Seth's fascination with the erected teepee waned, it was suggested that the day draw to a close. Seth stuck to Edward's side as they trailed back up to the mainland, regaling him with various backyard adventures that Bella knew stretched the truth.

"You should come back to Seattle again," Edward told her as they neared his Volvo, "we could tell Jasper about the baby and you and Ange can have that girly day you never got."

"I'll think about it," she nodded, "but this one's not far from being baked so…"

"Thinking about it is all I ask."

"Bella, the next bus is in three minutes," Sue called from the sidewalk.

"I have to go," Bella sighed, "and just so you know…my Mom doesn't hate you."

"Really?"

"Really," Bella assured, "you can thank me when you get a knitted wolf sweater for Christmas."

"She wouldn't?" Edward asked horrified.

"I have three," Bella teased before turning on her heels and ambling back up to her family. She chanced one last glance over her shoulder and caught Edward peering at the sonogram picture she had gifted him again, and the warm, gut-feeling that she had confessed to Sue returned with a vengeance.

It wasn't until she was seated on the Clallam Transit bus that her cell trilled and she eagerly pulled it from her pocket as Sue eyed her with a knowing glance; she didn't care that her goofy grin was bared for all to see, and she re-read the text several times for the warm, glorious feeling that made her heart thrum.

**EdwardC:**

**I think this kid has my nose.**

**-Proud Dad.**

* * *

I've been wanting to get the Sequim scene out of my head for a while, and now it's finally here in print.

This chapter was beta'd again by the lovely SUNFLOWER3759.

Again, thank you to everyone who is reviewing and rec'ing this story, I heart you all. It's lovely to know that all of this counts for something in some way or another. Next update is Monday Folks!


End file.
